Especially when most cishet women I’ve had sex with were teenagers and the average lesbian is 23-35
- Lesbians are terrible at making the first move and chasing/initiating/escalating.“Useless lesbian” stereotype
Just as bad as cishet women so I still end up 99% having to do the chasing/escalating since I’m better at it and more willing to do so. It makes things feel gendered af and so, so dysphoric. I’m at the point where I honestly never want to do it ever again
- The shyness is incredibly bad
I’ve had multiple women flirt with me first (and express explicit interest in kissing/hooking up) and when I escalate to kiss them, they start giggling, pull back, and keep saying how nervous/shy they are. I then have to help calm them down and wait for 5-10 minutes until they can pull themselves together. Tangentially, also met an incredible amount of bisexual women who said that they’ve never done anything with a woman before because they’re too shy to flirt with women
- Stroke game is pretty bad
I’m just comparing to myself and other trans women here. Just less experience I guess
- Head game is worse
Probably just also lack of experience. Hard to blame them on this given how most of their dating pool don’t have dicks
- Too soft and respectful?
This is probably just a personal preference I guess. But the sex now is very methodical, soft, slow. Vs before where it was much more primal, instinctual, and intense
Doesn’t apply to trans women or bisexuals in my experience
- Worse at flirting
So many lesbians just straight up tell/ask me they wanna kiss/have sex/whatever. It’s all incredibly explicit and direct. Which I understand for consent reasons, clear communication, etc. But the sexual tension of subtle flirting and the playful back and forth is something I miss so much
Lol this reads like a boomer restaurant yelp review.
Stroke service was terrible never coming back to this starbux
I’ve had sex with were teenagers
This sentence really feels like it needs some context, also this whole post just feels like an excuse to complain about women based on generalizations.
I’m assuming here that OP was a teenager at the time, and that they’re nit cinfessing to heinous crimes out of the blue
lmao this is the assumption I made but the sentence leaves a lot to be desired.
also this whole post just feels like an excuse to complain about women based on generalizations.
Lesbians complain about lesbians not being more bold with flirting all the time
Lesbians also complain about how a lot of lesbians also fall into gendered roles when one party is a masc and the other is fem
Seems to be relatively common lived experiences amongst the community to me
Just as bad as cishet women so I still end up 99% having to do the chasing/escalating since I’m better at it and more willing to do so. It makes things feel gendered af and so, so dysphoric. I’m at the point where I honestly never want to do it ever again
This is 100% my experience. Like so many cis lesbians see a trans woman and kinda just go into ‘lets date a man’ mode and its incredibly offputting. I was dating this girl for a month and I was doing all of the dating, all of the contact, and then by the end of the month, she asked if I was OK with fucking her with my hated flesh. No! Then of course, it fizzled immediately. I didn’t feel like she was a chaser, but maybe lesbians present it differently. And it wasn’t because of my presentation either, I am pretty girly, I don’t present as a stud.
Dating trans lesbians was a more equitable experience. I feel like the cis guys I encountered treated me more like I was a woman than the cis lesbians I met unfortunately.
Though at this point I haven’t dated in a long ass time. So if you wanted to know how dinosaurs dated now you know.
You’re so generous for doing all that work for an entire month omg. Sorry it was all just for that shitty ending
Honestly I’ve had a decent amount of experiences with lesbian chasers and ironically they’ve been my best experiences by far with cis lesbians lol … I’m guessing it’s because they have so much more experience with trans women and know what we generally like lmao
Maybe they’ve evolved a bit since I was in office
These are chasers in SF and Oakland tho haha, so many trans women here, queer culture and community is strong af
There’s a bunch of chasers who are known in the community to be chasers lmao
Sorry for the cishet-ignorance I’m gonna show with this question, but I got confused about what trans-lesbian means? Is that like OP, a trans femme into women? Or a trans man into women?
Also just generally, I have no idea about what the sexual component of lesbian interaction plays out like, but socially at least I’ve met a ton of lesbians that outwardly appear very confident and aggressive, but I think they’re what you would say were more on the butch or or more male-coded side of the lesbian spectrum (not necessarily in appearance, but just like attitude , possibly into sports, very “one of the guys” type vibe.) But in any case I always assumed they’d be pretty aggro about sex, they talked about it all the time haha.
I cracked up at your “how dinosaurs dated” bit.
Sorry for the cishet-ignorance I’m gonna show with this question, but I got confused about what trans-lesbian means? Is that like OP, a trans femme into women? Or a trans man into women?
The first one. A lesbian who is a trans woman is a trans lesbian.
As opposed to trans men who are into women but still consider themselves culturally lesbian, which is also a kind of person that exists.
Ohhhh ok that makes total sense, thanks for enlightening me.
…
i dont have a ton of experience and it’s all years-old at this point but no, this hasn’t been my experience at all
my briefly-had cis girlfriend bothered to look up transfemme needs and fucked like a goddamn pro, to the point i was even willing to use the hated thing because she just created the context that made the dysphoria non present.
I felt like a fucking woman with her.
t4t is more reliable but im not gonna lie y’all, so many of us have huge issues, and every time i get into another t4t thing i find myself burdened not only with my own flaws but theirs as well, as i begin to suffer with them in their way, and theirs in mine, and more than it hasn’t, it just ends in us losing the ability to deal with That Specific Thing We Have Going On and it becomes a point of resentment that our mutual damage is caustic to each other. It happens way more than it should and im exhausted by it
i fucked with men more in my egg phase, but most of them were confidently quite gay, but hormones flipped a switch and im not saying attraction to men never happens, but it’s rare enough i just don’t actually seriously consider them candidates.
so basically i get these like, transcendent lesbian relations with cis women that dont last very long, or i get caustic t4t, and im not capable of loving the masculine enough to carry a long term relationship so i dont try.
i’m exhausted. im not suited to being alone, but im exhausted.
I’ve had multiple women flirt with me first (and express explicit interest in kissing/hooking up) and when I escalate to kiss them, they start giggling, pull back, and keep saying how nervous/shy they are.
This is me and I’m married
I mean… I’ve never had sex before I transitioned so I can’t comment on cis-het women, but I completely disagree that cis lesbians are bad at sex, tho that may be in part because I always make it very clear beforehand that I am not gunna do the thing with the thing(you know, the thing
), especially when compared to cis guys XD I have so many horror stories of cis-het guys giving head that is downright unpleasant, like I’m still in awe of how they fucked it up that bad.I do agree that having sex with other trans people is generally a better experience for obvious reasons.
Ive had the opposite experience tbh
I don’t really date cis people, but this makes it sound more appealing. I need to meet some women who will ask me to kiss them and won’t except me to have sex like a man. That would be awesome.
