frankfurt_schoolgirl [she/her]

  • 2 Posts
  • 238 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 25th, 2022

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  • Also if you do want unsolicited advice, boymoding on hrt is totally fine and will help you. The informed consent clinic do not care what you look like, and will not care if you stop E later. They literally deal with sad masculine presenting trans women every day, you’re not special.

    Meeting more IRL trans friends is extremely helpful, and it’s what got me to finally end the boymode. Once you make a few, they all introduce you to each other, and you’ll end up with many.

    Also, passing is immensely subjective and impossible to achieve without the clocky girlmode phase.


  • Hi, so I really wanted to respond to this because it kind of reminded me of myself. I wrote a bunch of stuff trying to like rationally argue with you that “I feel ok living as a guy I guess as long as I stay busy” isn’t a good reason to keep things the way they are. But I think I was actually just yelling at my last self and not communicating well. So maybe I can explain why I feel angry with my past self?

    I think I figured out I was trans when I was 18 and went to college and met other trans women for the first time. But honestly I was completely terrified and buried the feelings for years. I was basically a mess since around the age of 14, but managed to do ok for a bit with a combination of antidepressants and therapy and staying busy. I’m not completely sure about this because honestly I’m wasn’t forming normal memories at this time and it’s hard to figure out what was actually going on in my head.

    At some point, I basically gave up on ever finishing school. At the same time, I started seriously considering transitioning. I spent the next 2 years or so living in a shitty basement apartment and getting stoned all the time. I would occasionally cross dress or something, but actually starting hrt was way too scary. I wasn’t out to anyone irl. I literally cannot remember what I did at this time. I might have played some video games? Years passed, and I got desperate enough that started hrt via an online informed consent clinic. I had one video call with a bored nurse who talked for 20 minutes, it was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. I took a selfie that day. I look like a horrendously depressed and unmistakably male stoner who lives in a basement and doesn’t take care of himself.

    Anyway like 3 years later I have a college degree and a cool job in a nice city. I have a growing group of cool queer friends and we really care about each other. I go on dates now lol. I’ve grown massively as a person, and honestly if I met myself I would think that I’m awesome. I have actual dreams and goals that I chose for myself, instead of just ambiently absorbing what other people said I should want like I did when I was younger. I don’t really pass, but its pretty liberal here and people are chill, and I look pretty cute sometimes.

    But like I’m scared that I’m still the kind of same man who was stuck in the basement unable to make an appointment at the LGBT clinic 5 miles from his house. For one thing I’ve really been putting off surgery consultations. My friend just got her orchi done and I’m happy for her but it honestly hurts because if I had my shit together I could have done that too by now. I would like ffs someday, but will I be able to do that? Idk I’m still sabotaging myself because it’s so easy to just get stuck kind of living, and also because I am clearly terrified of change.

    But also it’s not all bad. Like I really did transition eventually. My transition was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but also the only thing I’ve ever done that was purely for myself to make myself happy. No one (except a few very real trans girls who would probably not be popular around here judging by the Serano cancellation) will ever tell you that you need to transition. Many will discourage uou. But I did it anyway and now my life is infinitely better and more interesting.





  • I think the best thing about the northeast is the nature and especially the coast. If you’re going to drive, you should visit the white mountains in NH and maybe do some camping. It’s legal to just camp in the woods for free there.

    Coastal Maine is very touristy but nice, Portland is a little city with a surprising amount of stuff, and all the little towns to the north of it are pretty. Acadia National Park is nice solely on the off season when the crowds are less.

    I like the Champlain region on Vermont and NY. In a car it’s fun to take the ferry across the lake to Burlington. Also, you can visit John Brown’s original farm house in the Adirondacks nearby, which is imo more interesting than Harper’s ferry.

    You could also ditch the car and take the train between cities. The Amtrak goes all the way up to Maine. But this does make it harder to really get into nature.