Especially when most cishet women I’ve had sex with were teenagers and the average lesbian is 23-35
- Lesbians are terrible at making the first move and chasing/initiating/escalating.“Useless lesbian” stereotype
Just as bad as cishet women so I still end up 99% having to do the chasing/escalating since I’m better at it and more willing to do so. It makes things feel gendered af and so, so dysphoric. I’m at the point where I honestly never want to do it ever again
- The shyness is incredibly bad
I’ve had multiple women flirt with me first (and express explicit interest in kissing/hooking up) and when I escalate to kiss them, they start giggling, pull back, and keep saying how nervous/shy they are. I then have to help calm them down and wait for 5-10 minutes until they can pull themselves together. Tangentially, also met an incredible amount of bisexual women who said that they’ve never done anything with a woman before because they’re too shy to flirt with women
- Stroke game is pretty bad
I’m just comparing to myself and other trans women here. Just less experience I guess
- Head game is worse
Probably just also lack of experience. Hard to blame them on this given how most of their dating pool don’t have dicks
- Too soft and respectful?
This is probably just a personal preference I guess. But the sex now is very methodical, soft, slow. Vs before where it was much more primal, instinctual, and intense
Doesn’t apply to trans women or bisexuals in my experience
- Worse at flirting
So many lesbians just straight up tell/ask me they wanna kiss/have sex/whatever. It’s all incredibly explicit and direct. Which I understand for consent reasons, clear communication, etc. But the sexual tension of subtle flirting and the playful back and forth is something I miss so much
This is 100% my experience. Like so many cis lesbians see a trans woman and kinda just go into ‘lets date a man’ mode and its incredibly offputting. I was dating this girl for a month and I was doing all of the dating, all of the contact, and then by the end of the month, she asked if I was OK with fucking her with my hated flesh. No! Then of course, it fizzled immediately. I didn’t feel like she was a chaser, but maybe lesbians present it differently. And it wasn’t because of my presentation either, I am pretty girly, I don’t present as a stud.
Dating trans lesbians was a more equitable experience. I feel like the cis guys I encountered treated me more like I was a woman than the cis lesbians I met unfortunately.
Though at this point I haven’t dated in a long ass time. So if you wanted to know how dinosaurs dated now you know.
You’re so generous for doing all that work for an entire month omg. Sorry it was all just for that shitty ending
Honestly I’ve had a decent amount of experiences with lesbian chasers and ironically they’ve been my best experiences by far with cis lesbians lol … I’m guessing it’s because they have so much more experience with trans women and know what we generally like lmao
Maybe they’ve evolved a bit since I was in office
These are chasers in SF and Oakland tho haha, so many trans women here, queer culture and community is strong af
There’s a bunch of chasers who are known in the community to be chasers lmao
Sorry for the cishet-ignorance I’m gonna show with this question, but I got confused about what trans-lesbian means? Is that like OP, a trans femme into women? Or a trans man into women?
Also just generally, I have no idea about what the sexual component of lesbian interaction plays out like, but socially at least I’ve met a ton of lesbians that outwardly appear very confident and aggressive, but I think they’re what you would say were more on the butch or or more male-coded side of the lesbian spectrum (not necessarily in appearance, but just like attitude , possibly into sports, very “one of the guys” type vibe.) But in any case I always assumed they’d be pretty aggro about sex, they talked about it all the time haha.
I cracked up at your “how dinosaurs dated” bit.
The first one. A lesbian who is a trans woman is a trans lesbian.
As opposed to trans men who are into women but still consider themselves culturally lesbian, which is also a kind of person that exists.
Ohhhh ok that makes total sense, thanks for enlightening me.