JD got over excited by how the pontiff choose to couch his words.

Fancy papal couches that were unfuckable.

The pope’s death was God’s plan. God is the murderer. (Again)

Butthurt, his hallmark.

Before the pope had passed away I commented this on another post.

Bet the poor Pope couldn’t even attend because in addition to his health issues he must have felt the evil pressure oozing from Vance.

Welp, poor Francis. He was a good one, and difficult to replace especially in these uncertain times.

The silver lining is that he really made his last big act in life to admonish Vance, and by extension the Trump admin, about their wrongdoing.

JD Vance just existed

The pope died of cringe from experiencing Vance’s presence.

Truth is, he wasn’t trying to. Vance wanted to show off his zombie Jesus costume, but it turned out to be a killer costume!

(I just wanted to throw something in that isn’t the same jokes everyone else is making)

Because Biden is catholic

JD didn’t do it on purpose. The most reasonable answer is the Pope accidentally walked on JD in a tender moment with a loveseat. The Pontiff laughed himself to death.

Being anywhere in Trump’s orbit speeds up your trajectory towards death like Matt Damon in Saving Private Ryan. Donald Trump is, essentially, a biological version of “The Machine” from The Princess Bride pushed to 50.

Since the pope was only secondarily contaminated, the process was slower, but he was already so close to death as it is.

I don’t think it was on purpose the Pope was just too frail to be in the same room as that much cringe. Frankly it was irresponsible of them to allow Vance anywhere near him.

Clearly he visited India today to discuss a Hindu Nationalist takeover of America

He thought it was the seat of Catholic power and was driven to a frenzy.

Vance took off his human mask and showed the pope what a demon looks like.

As a vampire, he has to drink the blood of a pontif to remain a daywalker.

He should now sparkle in the sun for another…6-8 weeks before needing to feed again.