Lemmy Today
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
MacN'Cheezus to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 9 months ago

Old school shitposting

message-square
37
link
fedilink
582

Old school shitposting

MacN'Cheezus to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 9 months ago
message-square
37
link
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • superduperpirate@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    63
    ·
    edit-2
    9 months ago

    I totally didn’t see this somewhere and start writing it on the walls in middle school:

    Those who write on shithouse walls

    Roll their turds into little balls

    Those who read these words of wit

    Eat those little balls of shit

    • fluxion@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      24
      ·
      9 months ago

      I have some questions about the events being described here, but I think its best not to ask.

      • GBU_28@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        21
        ·
        9 months ago

        Too late, turd eater

  • ceenote@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    46
    ·
    edit-2
    9 months ago

    I heard it as

    "In days of old,

    When knights were bold

    And condoms weren’t invented,

    They put their socks upon their cocks

    And babies were prevented."

    • realitista@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      Yeah that’s the one I know, though I think it sounds nicer with the wording I know:

      “A sock was placed upon the cock, And babies were prevented”

    • demizerone@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      9 months ago

      The knights of old beat off into socks.

  • AFreeLarryHoover@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    43
    ·
    9 months ago

    Not enough doodle cocks & swastikas.

    • Pantsofmagic@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      9 months ago

      And that mobius strip style “S” thing

      • GBU_28@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        28
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        9 months ago

        It’s called the cool S. Be respectful

        • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          9 months ago

          Stushi

  • Poplar?@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    34
    ·
    9 months ago

  • OopsAllTwix@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    31
    ·
    9 months ago

    From a porta potty: Here I sit Tired and dirty Trying to hide Until 4:30

    • Aviandelight @mander.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      9 months ago

      Yea this one got a genuine laugh out of me. Poor soul.

  • Nailbar@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    9 months ago

    Here’s some toilet poetry I read once:

    Some come here too sit, think, and write on the walls. I come here too shit, stink, and scratch my hairy balls.

    • froh42@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      9 months ago

      Wie Adolf Hitler throne ich hier, die braune Masse unter mir.

  • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    23
    ·
    9 months ago

    public unisex bathroom: “our butts have touched <3”

  • idunnololz@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    9 months ago

  • Num10ck@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    9 months ago

    i used to fold a paper towel into a kind of bubble box and get it wet. then i’d throw it hard onto the ceiling where it would stick for about a minute. then i would wait for it to fall on someone coming in and i’d giggle for decades about it.

  • thesporkeffect@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    9 months ago

    Here I sit, all broken-hearted

    • nilaus@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      9 months ago

      Thought I’d shit, but only farted

    • dafungusamongus@lemmy.sdf.org
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      9 months ago

      Tried to shit, but only farted

      • kmartburrito@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        9 months ago

        Then one day I took the chance

    • superkret@feddit.org
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      9 months ago

      Tried to piss, but my ass parted

    • then_three_more@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      9 months ago

      Paid a penny, but only farted

  • itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    9 months ago

    …and the Shithouse Poet strikes again!

    • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      9 months ago

      …and the Shithouse Latrine Poet strikes again!

      They changed their name to “Latrine”. Sometime in the 9th century I believe.

      • deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        9 months ago

        It’s a good change!

  • rotkehle @feddit.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    9 months ago

    in Germany it’s the other way around.

    • MacN'CheezusOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      9 months ago

      …the road lays a load upon you?

      • superkret@feddit.org
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        9 months ago

        Wie der Führer sitz ich hier
        Die braunen Massen unter mir

        • MacN'CheezusOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          9 months ago

          In diesem Klo da wohnt ein Geist, der jedem in die Eier beißt.

          Mich hat er nicht gebissen, ich hab ihm auf den Kopf geschissen.

          • superkret@feddit.org
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            9 months ago

            Ich kenne das mit “In diesem Klo, da wohnt ein Geist, der jedem, der zu lange scheißt, von unten in die Eier beißt.”

            • froh42@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              9 months ago

              Am unteren Ende der Klowand, dort wo sie zum Durchwischen aufgeständert ist:

              Vorsicht vor dem Limbotänzer!

          • Rolivers@discuss.tchncs.de
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            9 months ago

            We have a variant in Dutch.

            In de pot zit een geit die graag in je kont bijt

            Mij heeft hij niet gebeten want ik had op zijn kop gescheten.

        • Ricky Rigatoni@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          9 months ago

          This is estonia, speak estonian please.

  • nifty@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    9 months ago

    It’s the same person, they wrote on both walls

    • mPony@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      9 months ago

      THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE SHITTER!!!

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 4.61K users / day
  • 9.65K users / week
  • 16.1K users / month
  • 32.3K users / 6 months
  • 161 local subscribers
  • 31.4K subscribers
  • 14.8K Posts
  • 336K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world
  • YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.11
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org