Didn’t have a chance to write up a detailed post, either on a fruit or the topic I was originally thinking about. I think they’re neat and they taste good.
Join our public Matrix server!
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Peaches are good. Goodbye peaches!
just blatantly breaking the volcel police laws, extreme horny and also pretty sad posting
born to be the town bicycle, just an absolute free loving, easy slut
forced to be an awkward, virginal, autistic trans woman who doesn’t pass
Just saw I saw the TV glow for the first time and holy shit
My sibling was telling me about a hateful bumble message they got from a man, I muttered “basement…”, I’m pretty Dorleypilled.
More cuddles lined up for tomorrow with the cutie, gosh this part of my life makes me happy
also personals are the shit plus they are kinda like a horny little newspaper 
i am a horny lesbian
God i love women. I love loving women. I love loving women as a woman. I love kissing women. I love worshipping women, being worshipped by women, being fucked by women, whipped by women, teased by women… God i love women
genital dysphoria posting
ugh. you know, i was really thinking that i wouldn’t be getting this until years later in my life but recently i’ve been really, really looking forward to the idea of getting bottom surgery. my genital dysphoria has been getting worse and worse recently and i keep thinking that damn it would be really nice to get a pussy soon. I don’t like having a penis :(
whining and being sad, talking about self harm in a way that's probably triggering
Feel so lonely and shitty and depressed about my situation. As far as being able to transition, having to transition at all, i know i don’t really have the effort required in me anyway. Anyway just feeling shitty about the situation that’s been upsetting me the last few days and finally snapped. i’m so sick of feeling like shit. Just using a rubber band so no scars so who even cares. not as satisfying or good but whatever. its pain which is good and what i want right now. i’m too stupid and cowardly and whatever else to fix my situation so we make due.
passive si
god i want to wake up dead, i’ve been wanting that, i’m so sick of all this shit. Unfortuantely my “dying in my sleep” polan has not been working out for me and there’s no backup. i have no way to move out and even if i did that only fixes some of it.
I can’t believe this had to be me 😭literally why did i have to be trans. i am not capable of this, i wasn’t before i cracked and i’m not now.
more self harm
anyway going to go play some shitty game I barely care about and feel shitty and hope i die and think about how shitty everything is and how i’m an emberassment to everyone including me and how i should just kill myself already but i’m too freaked out by being gone to actually do it even though life is hell and i have no hope or anything for the future.
Sorry for being unhinged i’m sure i’ll act normal again soon :) :) :)
I went to the park to read today and got a shit ton of side eye and weird looks. I guess the world isn’t ready for my cuteness
fuck reddit. i made a new account (because the current one is already permabanned) so that i can message a recently homeless trans kid in russia and it suspends it almost instantly
Entertain me
nsfw genital dysphoria
god I fucking hate having a dick. I naturally have a pretty darn high sex drive but every time getting off just feels so unsatisfying and disappointing cause I hate what I have, no matter what I do. I can’t wait for SRS, but that’s years away at the minimum and maybe never if worse case scenario. the wave of dysphoria and disgust is really getting to me, I know I’m not just going to stop masturbating for the next several years or anything like that so I’ve got to deal with the discomfort and dysphoria and never actually being satisfied. Shit suuuuuuuuuuckkkkkks
Anyone else been using transfem.dev for matrix and having issues with performance?
see here:
https://girlboss.ceo/~strawberry/conduwuit.txt
I just switched over to matrix.org, feeling a little sad now though
dysphoria raving, doomer shit
Did I permanently fuck my brain by deciding not to look at myself for years?
So many girlies make posts like “X months on estrogen and I can finally see(or start to see) a girl in the mirror.” Or “I can actually stand to look at myself because I can see the changes that are happening.”I feel like if I look in the mirror after all this time and don’t see a cis woman it’s jover, not that I can be sure my brain would even acknowledge I pass if I did with my potential BDD.
There is a really cynical part of me that thinks estrogen isn’t “magic” and all the baby trans will eventually be bitter and disappointed like me when that reality hits.
But I’m hoping I am just mentally ill and delusional.sucks never being out at night just because i have a job. used to hang out with friends till after midnight, now i gotta be in bed by 9 so i can fuck around in a box with fluorescent lights all day
Rizz update:
I shared some of my music with her, and she was really impressed. I gave her a few of the full files because she said she wants to work out to them.
She’s been so sweet and nice… very damn appreciative of everything I have to say. She’s such a calm, gentle, and beautiful soul. I’m nervous because I really really really like her, but my rizz always has me covered…
Things will most likely continue to go well. Sharing my music with her helped us to get a bit more into personal hobbies and stuff like that because we mostly talked about things like Palestine, communism, and veganism besides that.
