Yup! And don’t get too disheartened by how things look down there. You’re just a few days post-op. Everything’s swollen and sore. You’re recovering from a major surgery. The swelling will end and things will look less and less like a horror show with each passing day. Don’t even try to judge things until you’re a few months post-op.

Also, if you do get a bit depressed, that’s also normal. Post-op depression is extremely common for all forms of surgeries. You’re in pain, you’re hopped up on painkillers, you’re sleep deprived, and your body is freaking out because it has a ton of healing to do. It’s natural to feel some level of depression. If anything, maybe your body knows you need to be still and move slowly in order to heal, and what better way to encourage that than to make you a bit depressed?

Anyway, no idea if you’ll experience any kind of post-op malaise, some do, some don’t. But if you do, just remember it’s extremely common. Post-op depression can hit trans people even harder than other surgeries because of all the cultural baggage and judgment that’s attached to bottom surgery. If you’re not mindful, it’s really easy to experience a common surgical after-effect and for your pain-killer addled brain to convince itself that “oh god, this was a mistake, what have I done???!!!” If you experience any depression, just try to keep this in mind, accept it for what it is, and reserve any judgment on the success of the surgery until well after the initial recovery period. If necessary, recognize that in your current state, you simply may not be capable of forming rational opinions on some things. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Not sure if any of this is helpful. Just trying to provide what little advice I can based on my own experience. If it’s totally off base, feel free to ignore it.

Regardless, congrats again. I’m so happy for you! Remember, if nothing else, you have now achieved something that no one can ever take from you. No matter what happens going forward, you will never in your life have to deal with that source of dysphoria and pain ever again. It was this thought that really got me through my initial post-op period. If life went really bad, I could end up homeless, living on the street, denied medication, or even in jail. I didn’t know what the future would hold; I still don’t. But I did know, and I do know, with 100% absolute certainty, that I would NEVER and will NEVER have to face that particular pain ever again. And that is something that no one can ever take from you now. Especially in times as tumultuous as these, as scary as the world now is, I, even now, find some real comfort in that. I’m 12 years post-op, and that still gives me some comfort. I know that no matter what happens, I will never experience bottom dysphoria or face my body remasculinizing ever again. No one can ever take that away from me. They can put me in the ground, but they can never force me back into a masculine box. In this, I am free.