Yes we’re late >.>

Hang out. Chat. Talk about what’s going on. Have fun :3

  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    Ok so either I’m having a manic episode or the brain fog I’ve lived with my entire life is kinda lifting about 3 months into HRT? Honestly I feel like I can actually engage with my work and not barely tread water, and I have actual confidence? I’m not even out at work. It’s kinda something I never thought would happen but it seems to be happening??!?

    • FemboyStalin [she/her,any]@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      When I first started transitioning that exact feeling was the number one benefit I told people about. Like the engines running on new oil and it’s running so smooth now

      • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        9 months ago

        I’ve heard trans people talk about it before bit tbh I also was very much in the thought process of “This will not just fix your life or be a magic drug. It will just make me grow boobs basically” but like I gotta say it’s just way better than I ever could have expected

        • Raebxeh@hexbear.net
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          9 months ago

          This will not just fix your life or be a magic drug

          That’s what I’ve been telling myself for a while now. I’ve been avoiding estrogen because of constraints in my life. Are you saying this isn’t the whole picture?

          • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            9 months ago

            What I’m saying is that, I had heard that estrogen was like life changing and changed many different parts of your life. But from other people, I heard it just made them grow boobs basically. I aired on the side of caution and just expected it to basically make me grow boobs and stuff.

            Frankly I’ve been very pleasantly suprised. It’s really life changing for me. Like I can exist in society. I can literally focus at work which I never expected to happen. I’m not even out there yet. I feel like where in the past I would jsut become depressed and anxious and really miserable about so many things I’m just… not. Like I feel good. It’s really wild. I’ve never felt this way

          • ilyenkov [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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            9 months ago

            I wouldn’t say it’s fixed my life cuz I got all kinds of problems. But it is kinda magic and I feel mentally sharper and more in touch with my emotions and I’ve not been on it long

    • JohannaChittarra@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      Is really fun, and just one of those things that just like clicks and begins to make sense at one point. For a while, I was like how tf are these people blending?

    • AutomatedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      Eyeshadow is actually kinda easy, it’s the eyeliner that still fucks with me. The trick for basic eyeshadow is mostly to apply a good foundation and to use brighter highlight colors on the inside (at the corner of your eye that’s next to the nose) and move to darker shades as you go up and outwards. This’ll make the eye appear larger. The rest is mostly experimenting with color combinations and different brushes, which is honestly real fun if you have a few nice palettes. Blending can be a bit tricky, but that gets easier over time.

  • EndOfHerstory [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    Hung out with one of my partners tonight. Found out they’ve been exploring some gender stuff a bit but insist “I don’t have dysphoria so I’m not trans.” Which, not how that works, but fair, you don’t have to be trans to play with gender. Then I start thinking back through our relationship and I’m like “oh, this is all textbook trans shit… How did I not realize this earlier?!”

    And now I’m just like, I guess I gotta pretend I don’t know what’s going on here for however long while they figure stuff out when all I wanna do is laugh maniacally and be like “WELCOME TO THE CLUB”

    Of course I would never do that. But like, come on.

  • KittyBobo [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    The past couple of days it’s felt like my brain was in a pinball machine, rapidly bouncing between “I want nothing more than to unalive myself right now” and “wow I haven’t felt this good in a while”.

  • IDK if anyone is doom scrolling Following the Nex Benedict case as closely as I am, but earlier today, the preliminary police autopsy allegedly found that Nex’s death was not caused by the head trauma they received the day prior, during the incident where they were beaten.

    Now I’m not a medical professional, so I could be really off base here, but… That sounds like a load of shit to me. What else could it have been?

  • TheSpectreOfGay [he/him, she/her]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    i started playing final fantasy 14, and i wanted to add a mod so my character would have top surgery scars. but i couldn’t find any mods for editting the vanilla body texture to have that, so i basically had to download 2 gb worth of mods just for top surgery scars.

    but i mean it worked so i guess it’s fine

  • Ideology [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    Trans Rescue seems to be looking for people to help make adverts

    If you have some spare time over the next 6 weeks and have #voiceacting, #audio editing, #video editing, video production, #illustration, #3D graphics, writing, or similar skills and would be up for helping us help #trans Americans, please drop us a line at annie@transrescue.org We’re hoping to produce a lot of content over the next few months.

    Plz use the link or comment to bump this. I’m not affiliated with them and can’t answer questions.

      • anothertranscomrade [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        9 months ago

        Biweekly. I’ve been doing it for almost a year, but it feels like my body spins the roulette wheel every time. Sometimes I’m so nervous my hands shake. Sometimes it feels like the needle (21 gauge) doesn’t want to go in, even though I feel like I’m applying the same amount of force and coming straight down. Sometimes the estradiol will seep out of the injection site after leaving the needle in for a few seconds after I inject and I slowly remove the needle. Sometimes it’s absolutely fine and I feel amazing afterwards.

    • JohannaChittarra@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      Took me an hour and a half to muster the courage to do my first injection. Now I look forward to it when it comes up.

    • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      injections aren’t bad! i had a panic attack doing my first one but after that it’s been fine

      don’t freak out if you bleed like a stuck pig btw, just make a reminder not to stab that area again

      i recommend looking up YouTube videos on the injection BUT ALSO the drawing up process if you haven’t already. there’s a specific technique to getting the needle into the bottle without shooting chunks of rubber into it

  • Babs [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    Sure hope this vendor reaches out to me about shipping my meds soon. This is slightly longer than she has taken to get me tracking in the past, so clearly I should catastrophize things.

  • RION [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    Thinking about how my voice training would/will go. My current voice varies so much based on situation, comfort, even topic and I do funny voices/impressions on the regular. I guess maybe that should make it easier/more familiar? But it still seems so daunting and impossible to arrive at something I’d consider natural and fitting for me

    • SnowySkyes [she/her]@hexbear.netOPM
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      9 months ago

      Most voices vary depending on the situation. So that’s a pretty normal thing altogether. And as you slowly train your voice, it’ll move the needle slowly but surely. Your voice will modulate from a new neutral every time you move that needle. As for something that sounds natural to you, that may be a mental block that’s a smidgen difficult to overcome. I voice trained last year and sit on a voice that’s apparently indistinguishable from any other woman’s. But in my head, I still have remnants of the old me hanging around and it causes me a neurosis of sorts. That’s coming off a nice compliment I got last night saying my voice sounds cis and that it’s smoother than most ciswomen this person has seen. idk

      • RION [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        9 months ago

        I know most voices vary, but I feel like mine varies a freakish amount to where I feel like a different person is talking at times

        • SnowySkyes [she/her]@hexbear.netOPM
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          9 months ago

          I used to feel like that in the past, so I understand you. I would have a wildly different voice depending on the emotion that was dominant. It kinda flattened for me though, but I wonder if that’s because I speak from the tippy top of my range now. Interesting.

          Either way, I suppose the only real way to see what happens is to just go for it. I know that’s fairly straightforward and probably not a big help, but you really won’t know what it’ll all come to if you don’t start, y’know? I know when I started that I never thought that my deep voice could ever amount to anything remotely useful. But here I am I think.

      • grym [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        9 months ago

        This is honestly really heartening to hear, I haven’t started voice training yet. Do you know if it’s affected by age, like if you start later in life, is it harder to voice train?

  • FemboyStalin [she/her,any]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    Tw: Death/Doomerism

    The murder of Nex Benedict is really getting to me. It’s really caused me to reckon with all the compartmentalizing I’ve done for all trans death for so long. Like I’ve said “their death is tragic but we’re dying to create a better world for the future”. But Nex’s death doesn’t do that, their death is going to drive more young people to stay in the closet, and the way the authorities are handling it, it feels like that’s the point. Im beginning to lose hope for a better future. I know that’s how they win but they are factually winning. Idk, just venting. I can’t stop crying all the time.