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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 days ago

Ted Cruz Assures Texans He Working Tirelessly To Get Vacation Refunded

theonion.com

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  • cross-posted to:
  • chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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Ted Cruz Assures Texans He Working Tirelessly To Get Vacation Refunded

theonion.com

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 4 days ago
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  • cross-posted to:
  • chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
KERRVILLE, TX—Promising grieving Texans he would do everything in his power to make things right in the wake of last week’s deadly floods, Sen. Ted Cruz assured his constituents Wednesday that he was working tirelessly to get the rest of his Greek vacation refunded. “I have spent countless hours on the phone persuading Capital One […]
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  • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Rafael Cruz…

    Unless he wants to explain to his voters why he refuses to use his “Christian name” and go by a moniker instead.

    • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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      4 days ago

      What does it say on his birth certificate?

      • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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        4 days ago

        We’d have to go to Canada to find out.

        • Tuchowski@troet.cafe
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          4 days ago

          @pelespirit Ah, logically born in Alberta…
          @SwingingTheLamp

      • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        Long form…

        Wait, we’re supposed to wait till he provides the normal one, then change what we’re asking for

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