small lil "being-triggered" vent
So my cousin got engaged over the weekend, she found herself a top notch bloke and she’s a star herself so perfect combo.
I’m not jealous of that, I don’t care about being married or not and it isn’t important to me in any way - deep or superficial. I’m envious of how her mum is so happy and proud and keeps gushing about her - I just know that my dad just wouldn’t talk about me like that, and my mum isn’t in my life and she isn’t the type to care about my accomplishments either. I’m sad that no matter what I do, what I accomplish, or big (to me) achievements, I don’t have a parent who would talk about me like that, so proud and open about being proud.
I’m so happy for my cousin, she’s a fantastic person and has been through so much - she deserves this happiness and her mum to gush about her. I feel bad for being triggered by my aunt’s love for her daughter - I guess I still have a long way to go to reconcile not having a parent be so openly loving to and about me.
Just needed to get this out into the world, I can’t talk to my family about this, especially not now, and my partner doesn’t really get it as his parents are wonderful. I’m sorry.
When you have difficult or non existant parental relationships, stuff like this always highlights what you don’t have. You’re not wrong for feeling that way, and their absence in your life is not a reflection of how wonderful you are as a human being. Some parents just suck. ❤️
Sometimes when I read or watch shows where people have happy, supportive parents, I actually can’t help but cry because how different might life be if I was encouraged instead of shut down?
So, I totally understand how you feel. And it’s one of those both things can be true situations: you can be so happy for your cousin, but you can also envy her. I’ve spent years in therapy thanks to my parents, but the truth is, it’ll always be a little wound somewhere on me that opens it. I’m just better at treating it now.
I know this sounds like tripe, but we love you! We’re proud of you! Too many of us in here understand! We gotcha back!
It’s important be able to talk about these things in the open sometimes.
I’m sort of in the same position you are, and honestly, it hurts.
It doesn’t mean I’m not happy for my friends, but I’d be lying if I didn’t feel a pang of sadness.
Sometimes the happiest days, are also the saddest.
Hang in there ❤️
YES. I find talking openly completely removes shame.
but I do worry I am bringing my loved ones, my real fam, down
so many hugs
and you’re not alone in this, I understand it perfectly
just last night I dreamt of my father using slur words at me , I basically told him he was a bad father and should have been supportive and spoken well to me
and then on waking I realised, I have never had a nice dream of my father or sister, not one . That kinda made me sad. I’ve never missed them either.
In my own life as a parent I have tried to be as open and loving and supportive as I can be and I am so lucky to have the Young Seagoons, they are really good people.
That’s the one blessing isn’t it. We’re working hard to make sure our kids don’t ever have to feel that.
it is
so many hugs to you and yours
This seems like their failing, not yours.
Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate the kind words and support! And I am saddened to learn that there are more people here whose parents were/are very lacking, I’m sending you all my good vibes and love 💜
Here is Mickey as thank you as to bring food luck to you all
hugs
and hi back from Ted
Better warn mick that ted doesn’t so much hug or say hi as he does bite (bums).
So bums against the wall mickey!
Sweet sweet ted, he can bite my bum any day 😂 I love his face so much!
You’re amazing!! 🫶🫶🫶
💜💜💜🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
My fluff is melting… is there a correlation between shitty parents and cat ownership?
I think cats are special in their self-domestication. When they choose to lay on us or keep us close company, they know we need their love the most and it’s feels so utterly special and genuine. I truly believe if there is a reason humans evolved the way we did, it’s so we can be the guardians of life on Earth - pack bonding with animals and plants and objects is just what we do and when they love us back? It makes it all so worth it!
So fluffy! I want to kiss their belly so much!
The doughnut fries helped a little…
I got this from one of the guys I manage. Thought it was really sweet:
Aww we should all be like Simon and Matt.
My last manager would’ve ended it with ‘and that’s why I’m giving you more work’. lol :(
Migraine. No trip.
Fuck this
nooooo
Oh shit noooooo, I’m so sorry
I hope you feel better soon. :(
I dreamt I was attacked by flying prawns. They bit me on the thigh.
🦐🫦🦵
Have you ever watched the tv show The Good Place? There is a dream flying prawn scene!
Car just broke down at the dump… That means I get to leave it here, right?
Good morning
Gooooood morning DT. Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I’ve characteristically started it off with a good old sleep-in. I am starting to realise that having the blinds completely down is good for falling asleep, but really bad for my overall circadian rhythm because that severe lack of morning sun in winter gets the rest of the day out of whack.
Cleaning trip to aunt’s place got kyboshed at the last minute by their horrifically incompetent son (long story), but I am still going to drop by aunt’s temporary digs for the promised food 🤩
I’m going to draw up a list of some things I’ve been putting off. And plot out what I might do with the grand plan to end my lease soon, dump everything in storage and go hang out with family in WA for a month or so. Some of it will be shaped by the chat I have with work on Monday - whether I can do some remote work while I’m away, timing, etc.
On one hand, moving out is a pain and part of me wants to be lazy and doomscroll. OTOH, this is the perfect time to start afresh in many ways. A very big part of me wants CHANGE! Close that chapter properly!!!
I sleep with the blinds open and a good sleeping mask on. I get the good deep sleep from being in the dark, and the natural light as soon as I wake up. It works for me.
When I was away my Airbnb had motorised blinds in the bedroom. Opening with the push of a button. Game changer for getting up quickly. Seriously want for my bedroom as I am also blinds down dark bedroom person.
I really want this too. I always have trouble falling asleep if the room isn’t completely dark
It’s pizza night 🍕
Enjoy! I’m pretending I’m in Italy by having an aperitivo - martini and some Taralli, and definitely some Aussie pizza to follow!
What’s your pizza order of choice?
Hawaiian and garlic & cheese
Here too.
Erin Patterson discussion/thoughts
Heheheheh so I’ve been reading the deathcapdinner subreddit posts, and it’s surprising (or maybe not) how many people don’t know what “reasonable doubt” means, or are accusing Justice Beale of doing the defences job for them. Like come on, his instructions are par for the course for Judges, even my partner tuned it all out because he worked for the WA state court in a past life and it’s a super boring and long part of the process.
They’re all like “oh she’s definitely guilty of murder” but forget that she is innocent UNTIL the prosecution PROVES her guilty. It doesn’t matter what we as laymen think, what matters is: did the prosecution prove her guilty of murder beyond reasonable doubt? If the jury finds the prosecutions evidence as not enough, then it doesn’t matter if she is actually guilty or not - the prosecution just didn’t find enough evidence she murdered them. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she is found not guilty on some charges, or guilty of manslaughter. Having read the articles and listened to the podcast, there is definitely room for reasonable doubt she committed murder, in my mind.
Thoughts?
I agree the onus needs to be on the prosecution, but I don’t believe there is reasonable doubt that she didn’t intend to do it, what has made this case so fascinating is how bad she was at hiding her intentions.
Everytime I listen to the ABC mushroom daily podcast, I flip flop between “she’s so guilty” to “hm well maybe not?”
She certainly fucked up somewhere, being an internationally followed court case
Thoughts: The judge being so comprehensive with the jury instructions is actually intended to reduce a “jury misdirected” avenue for appeal. He’s not doing the defence’s job, he’s shoring up the verdict, especially if it is a guilty verdict.
I’ve been following along daily and anyone who thinks Justice Beale is doing the defence’s job for them is just upset that there is room for reasonable doubt. I think they’re angry that there’s a chance she’ll won’t be found guilty. That sub is fascinating, but definitely an echo chamber of “SHE’S GUILTY”.
The jury must just be exhausted by this point.
I can’t imagine doing jury duty for a case like this, ugh!!
And yeah, there is so little nuance to the discussions on that subreddit. If someone tries to explain reasonable doubt they’re downvoted. Way too much of an echo chamber.
Still though, where is Phone A!? 😭
My thought is that average people underestimate how stupid average people are
or that stupid people can have other personal faults as well, like being a defensive liar
so yeah, she could have made a terrible mistake and then did a whole bunch of stupid things and lied as well
the fact that those family members were all cunts doesn’t mean she would kill them either
or that she was a plain middle aged woman in a country town , which makes her a “low status” easy target of hate
and my thoughts is that people judging Erin deny how sexist they are, how sadistic they are, and I reckon a lot of them are just trolls who know very well about justice, innocence and doubt
Accidental nap in sun. Off to tropical soup tomorrow for a break so much move and pack and clean. And this place is a bit feral after being sick. Also last day with kitty. I don’t want to have a full time pet but it was very nice. And nice to know I can have a car here - just in case the universe conspires to give me one.
What floof!! Maybe the Cat Distribution Services will grace you soon. Safe travels!
Such a cute house guest!
KITTEH! I agree there is something lovely about having a feline companion but not necessarily full time. Enjoy the soup! Really tempted to go somewhere warm but maybe not my tropical soup…
I can’t wait! It’s my tropical soup so some family time but some quiet beach time too. Sun get in MAH VIEINS
I’m buying myself doughnut fries as a consolation for missing out on the trip.
Take that healthy eating.
So bummed that you’ve missed out, enjoy those fries!!
One of thooooose days
- in de basement cleaning up more mortar dust, got my big pink filters on and a little bonnet
…vacuum won’t start. Completely out of the blue. No. Nooo. My sweet cheese, my goodtime boy, my old reliable whaaat. Do some diags, ok, we shall get a cheap one to finish the job while i repair my bubbe
- get in car to bunnings!
…why does the car smell like metho
- check exhaust since we had some hooning dickheads last night if some cunt has gone for our catalytic i will be VERY PISSED nope ok all good i’m fine
…remember husband doesn’t know shit about cars and has adhd. Pop hood with trepidation.
…yup, the coolant tank is full balls empty YEET
Plans with aunt changed at the last minute and I ended up going to their temporary place digs 'round the corner from Chaddy. It’s got Muji and Macpac in one convenient location, open till 9pm - great, I think.
45 minutes of car park shenanigans later… I remember that it is never that convenient at that hellish place. I also spent a disproportionate amount of time at Muji ogling all the muted earthy everything (made with exploited labour and unethical materials no doubt but very visually appealing nonetheless)…
But no, I shan’t accumulate — just bought the flannel shirt for work and more importantly, a second pair of comfy pants. Between that and two brand new FXD pants from earlier today to replace my threadbare, well-loved pair, I have all the comfy pants I need!
Over to RSEA tomoz for a hi viz jumper and windproof jacket and I’ll be set. Wallet looking dire until I get reimbursed/tax return tho. Better get everything ready to file asap on 1 July.
I was at RESA recently looking for a decent high viz hoodie and they didn’t have anything that I liked. I went with “Bisley Taped Hi Vis Fleece Hoodie (BK6819T)” offa ebay for about $60.
I’m looking for something that can fit certain tools in the front pockets, and I know one of the Eleven hoodies does (an ex colleague has it), so I might try them on anyway, but if not I’ll try the Bisley ones available at the shop near my place (that sadly isn’t open Sundays). Work will reimburse these ones so I’m not too fussed.
I mainly wanted a fluro, reflective, zip-through hoodie which RESA couldn’t help with. I wanted it for cycling. If I cycle dressed like a tradie I get way more respect on the roads than dressed like a mamil.
Yeah, their range of stuff isn’t so good for active work like that. It’s really pitiful for women as well. I’m going to have to try on men’s jackets and hope I can find something that fits.
The wok burner on the stove does a great job, and the rangehood was also great at removing all of the smoke. There was a brief issue when I realised I had not unpacked any of my starches, but I managed to track down the cornflour and tapioca starch without too much trouble, and also managed to locate the Chinese cooking wine.
Not unpacking straight away has been very good for working out which things are most important. I’m slowly building a collection of things to get rid of as I realise they don’t add enough value to my life to be worth finding a place for. I’m thinking of getting rid of most of my measuring jugs, when I eventually locate them. I haven’t bothered to look for them because I had some mason jars on hand which have worked well and fit in the dishwasher better. Plus the numbers have been washing off the jugs, whereas mason jars have measurements moulded into the glass. I just need to make sure I keep the little jug I mix my pancake batter in so it’s got the spout for pouring. Or maybe I should try the jar first and see if that works - as an added bonus I could shake to mix.
