“But you’re gay… why do you like sailing and WWE?”
“Well, I feel like both of those are pretty gay considering the reputation the Navy has and WWE being all sweaty men.”
“EXPLAIN FIREARMS THEN.”
“Shooty go pew.”
“WHAT ARE YOU?!”
“Hungry.”
Based off of a real conversation I’ve had.
What is up with flamboyance anyway? Why is it such a (supposedly) common thing? Is there some sort of link or explanation? Not trying to be offensive, just curious
I’ll take my surfer dude phase as an example.
Some people say “dude, bro, gnarly”, have a kind of drawly voice and laid-back attitude because that is ultimately who they are.
Some people consciously take that up as a set of mannerisms. Sometimes it sticks, and that eventually just becomes as aspect on their outward presentation. Sometimes it doesn’t, or some elements stick while others fall off over time.
This same question really bugged me for a period (well, not really, but did stick in my craw a bit), until I was able to reach this analogy coupled with ‘what business is it of mine anyway?’. Sometimes it’s performative, sometimes it’s not, but if it’s performative and is what they want to do, it harms no one, so cool. If not, and that’s just how they are, that is also cool.
If performative, not 100% natural, AND NOT what they really want to do, that’s a different story. I do wonder sometimes if a minority of gay guys feel some pressure to conform to a certain set of behaviours for acceptance from the gay community (in a hyper local sense), beyond just liking guys.
But as a straight dude this is usually where I stop the inquiry, because again, not really my business either way, and also probably where I’m gonna say something dumb and unintentionally hurtful. Which I may have already done here, idk, and if so sorry.
Some dudes adopt the mannerisms to show that they’re gay. Other dudes have the mannerisms from the start. It doesn’t make a single lick of sense to me either. People are just people.
From my observation of my gay friends who are more flamboyant, it was a reaction to coming out of the closet and letting their friends and family know they are gay. They had seen others who were gay behave a certain way, and they embraced that life.
So, it’s on purpose? It’s, like, an act or something? An adaptation, perhaps? An adoption of mannerisms associated with the group one belongs to and wishes to be associated with (due to said belonging).
Some people are just born that way, even if they are straight. Our family knows a son and a father, both straight, who have the exact same mannerisms that are extremely flamboyant. The nice thing is that the world is (generally) a lot more friendly now than it was way back when.
I don’t believe that’s the case for everyone. There were 3 boys in my elementary school that were flamboyant from the earliest I can remember them. They just always had the mannerisms, and other kids talked and wondered even back in fourth grade, “Is he gay?”
Two of them eventually came out as gay. One ended up being straight, he was just very animated and coincidentally spoke with a lisp.
That is to say, some people naturally have a flamboyant energy. Others would have such an energy, but are shamed if they express it. There are simply too many reasons and factors at play to ascribe only one explanation.
For one of my friends, it was like they were acting all the time as a straight person. When they came out they wanted to express their new self.
One of my friends stayed in the closet for years, even when all his friends knew he was gay, and we kept telling him we didn’t care. When he came out of the closet, he was over the top flamboyant. After a couple more years, he really toned back on most of the mannerisms. It was like he tried on the flamboyancy and then decided he just liked men, not the act.