WASHINGTON—Claiming the fantastical creatures were “way too cool” to leave their investigation to a handful of so-called experts, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued a statement Friday encouraging Americans to do their own research about dragons. “People, especially new parents looking for awesome bedtime stories, need to be reading everything they […]
I’m researching how to sneak a Komodo dragon into RFK’s bedroom so it will eat him while he sleeps.
Komodo hunt by biting a limb, then waiting for the target to die from infected wounds after several days. No restful sleep for RFK, not until the moment is nigh.
The komodo bacteria will have to compete with all the weird shit that’s already in his body though. So it’s not a sure thing.