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Thank you for articulating my thoughts and feelings. Story of my life, that. Also: “I’m neurotypical, so I will take what you said, twist in into something you never said or even thought and happily proceed to respond to that twisted thing and not what you literally said. That’s how normal people behave, yes”
NT people are built to lie and manipulate.
Not just a NT thing…
Then why am I better than them at it?
Probably. Never thought about it this way, but it does make sense of many things I saw no reason in before
Once I realized it, I stopped being surprised at the state of the world. I cannot treat NT people the same way I can be with ND people. They less honest, and more flexible in their morals when it suits them.
You must live a very miserable life to come to this conclusion.
Experience
Two funny things that happened to me.
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I shared a link to a friend about an event based on their hobby. They said “See you at 9am”. We then spent a strange hour texting back and forth, trying to clear up the “mixed messages” that I am not attending the event.
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At a co-working space, a guy spends 10 minutes talking about a YouTube video he saw. He then proceeds to go to the white board, and in detail, write the ENTIRE URL of the YouTube video, and whatever extra stuff. I’m talking about a 60 character link, handwritten, and requested everyone watch it themselves, so there’s no confusion.
Gotta love it.
🤣 Handwriting a link is bad enough, but usually, there’s a shortened version you can use to share a link that would have saved him about 40 characters!
You only ever had two funny things happen to you?
My goodness how do you stay sane?
(It honestly took me a few seconds to realize you were not being literal. I hope.)
That is my life.
And one time, I saw a blimp!
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It’s true though.
And us NT folks can benefit from learning how to do it.
It is refreshing to talk to someone ND, because of it. Once I got into the habit of not defaulting to assuming the person has an acquired understanding of social norms, I started just gently talking to NT people that didn’t “guess” the typical norms and mores. When I do that in the same relaxed and casual way I do with ND people, it almost always ends up way better than just saying nothing, and a shit ton better than assuming the worst and behaving the same in response.
I swear I need to get a body cam so that when my wife says, “I told you that already” I can go back through the footage to find out for sure.
You know it would just prove her right don’t you?
Whatever reality is, I want to be closer to it.
For a kitbash contest I made a little bracelet that recorded a 10 minute constant audio loop and it would save the last ten seconds whenever you shook it hard. I feel this could be a product for people like us
Sounds more like a Midwesterner
I think this is why I love the Netherlands so much. People are just direct! Not once have I thought people were rude. If this is an issue for you, I would definitely recommend a place like Amsterdam.
And omg the trams…I once went to Greece and the BnB host flat out told me I was there at the wrong time of year and my vacation could have been a lot better. I found it oddly refreshing.
I wonder how the idea of ask v guess culture intersects with neurotypical and not. Are more NT people “guess culture”?
( Guardian article about it https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/05/askers-vs-guessers/340891/ | https://archive.is/1hxuv )
fwiw i don’t really have this problem in sweden, if people hint at stuff here it’s probably because not really important and that’s a way of showing that it’s not important.
