Spooky Shopkeeper: I warn you, once you purchase this, there is no return…

Me: Too easy.

Spooky Shopkeeper: Very well. This is my last warning. If you purchase this, you will emerge into a hellish landscape of screaming soulless beings tearing their broken world apart, driven by shadowy eldritch forces… wait a minute… I get it now… I AM IN HELL!!!

Me: Please let me stay here. Don’t ever make me leave this store.