• mm_maybe@sh.itjust.works
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    3 hours ago

    The musical instrument thing is transitory and depends entirely on the instrument.

    Pre-relationship; in a popular band playing a more traditional instrument like guitar with a bunch of also attractive people (or at least part of a cool local scene) = hot

    In a relationship and/or solo bedroom producing any kind of electronic music and/or buying lots of synthesizers, drum machines or grooveboxes = not hot

    Also note how low “clubbing” is on the least attractive list, so no, DJs and electronic musicians who perform live don’t get a pass

      • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
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        37 minutes ago

        seriously? I’ve known several women that fucking love banjo. I would say I’ve heard more women talk about how cool banjo playing is compared to actual guitars (then again I think it’s just a known thing with guitars that doesn’t need to be brought up). It might also depend on where you live I suppose. Roll into an Appalachian town stringing a banjo and you’ll be the pied piper of the mountain women.

    • OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml
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      3 hours ago

      It’s a bit of both. I can see these hobbies leading to a healthy relationship, but anyone who thinks the answer isn’t “hit the gym” is coping.

      (Btw I’m no gym rat, but this is a fact)

      • Shapillon@lemmy.world
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        1 hour ago

        Hitting the gym can’t hurt but it’s very low on my list of priorities.

        Being chill, open with one’s emotions, able to communicate reasonably, willing to help around etc are way higher.

        Usually being a woman helps too but life’s life.

      • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
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        29 minutes ago

        Hiking - sounds attractive, but the woman may not actually enjoy hiking especially doing multiple day trails

        Woodworking - “wow you made this desk yourself?!” Reality: Spent weeks designing and getting the right materials, spent more weeks in the shop getting everything right, spent months all together away and in a shop so you could present… a desk (the novelty runs out real quick with a partner)

        Same with a lot of them, if you’re really into a hobby and it is presentable… You’ve spent a fuckton of time on it. Something you could do while you were single, 10x harder to pick up or continue doing in a relationship since your time is now divided. It becomes one of those, “Yeah they love doing photography and they’re really good at it!” (cue partner standing there who hasn’t taken a picture in over a year looking sheepish).

  • gcheliotis@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    No one should undertake hobbies because they are attractive to someone else. Unless you want to join groups where you can meet people you’re attracted to, then the activity is just an excuse to mingle. But you are more likely to find a hobby rewarding if you are genuinely interested in it, no matter what others think.

  • Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk
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    54 minutes ago

    I do so well with reading and cooking but really let myself down with strangling small animals.

  • Lorindól@sopuli.xyz
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    5 hours ago

    I had 10/15 of these when I was single, and I was single for a very long time. That is how I had the time to learn all these hobbies/skills.

    • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
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      4 hours ago

      Right? Just the other day I was thinking about how many hobbies I dropped once I started seriously dating, and then later how many more when I had kids.

      My guitar hasn’t been touched in years. My books have gone unread. My 3D printer is getting a workout making organizational tools and little toys for the kids though lol

      • BanjoShepard@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        If you see my kayak and fishing poles tell them I miss them and I hope I get to spend more time with them when my son is a few years older.

        • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
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          21 minutes ago

          If it makes you feel any better, I have a relative who’s single and I’ve been helping him clean out his shop on the weekends. Just a shit load of fishing and kayaking gear that I’ve had to make a whole like 20 ft wall just to organize. He works 60 hours a week because he’s the only one there paying bills (his parents house, he’s deeply attached) and hasn’t touched his shit in probably a decade, we’re all screwed really.

  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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    4 hours ago

    So a foreign manga reader that likes to work their wood whilst drawing furry pics from said manga, and travels to cons to display subsequent art - is the most irresistible person to women?
    (Should probably think about doing some public garden porn photography tbh)

    That does make sense.

  • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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    6 hours ago

    Judging by what I see on dating sites, fishing is near the bottom of the list. So many women’s profiles say something like “I don’t want to see a picture of you holding a fish”

    • Belgdore@lemm.ee
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      5 hours ago

      It’s that men don’t take a lot of pictures of themselves. Then they refuse to take any specifically for their dating profiles. Taking pictures specifically for a dating profile would show that they actually care about finding a person they would do other things specifically for.

      • CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works
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        3 hours ago

        Taking pictures specifically for a dating profile would show that they actually care about finding a person they would do other things specifically for.

        This is a dead giveaway that you’ve never asked men why they don’t take and share pictures of themselves. Most men in the anglosphere consider it vain and self-destructive to obsess over their looks. You can also see it in the way they buy clothes (“I’ll take 5 pairs of the same pants, thanks”), the way they cut their hair (“just take an inch off and even it out”), and the way they present themselves, often with as few accessories and adornments as possible. Those they do have are utilitarian or deeply personal.

        • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de
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          3 hours ago

          I mean yea, there’s no point in faking all that (having fancy hair, fancy pants) to have a relationship that’s based on lies and that will crumble the instant you show your true self

      • Fosheze@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        It’s that men don’t take a lot of pictures of themselves.

        I can’t speak for all men but I have a complete inability to look even remotely normal if I know a picture is being taken of me. I try to take profile pics and they all wind up awful and that’s not just my view. I showed my friend just to make sure it wasn’t just poor self image talking and they reacted like I was showing off a broken bone. I think the only way I’m going to get workable dating profile pics is if I have a friend take pictures of me without me noticing like I’m some sort of cryptid and they’retrying to capture proof.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        3 hours ago

        I just don’t want pictures of myself on the internet. I value my privacy. Huge part of the reason I never had a dating profile.

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        Unfortunately, the fact that they don’t take many pictures of themselves can be really obvious. I try not to turn a guy down because of a bad profile picture, because I know there’s a technique to it and that requires practice.

        At the same time, we’re in a digital era - you can take 100 pictures and only upload your favorite one. There’s no reason for an average guy’s profile picture to resemble a mugshot.

    • ObsidianNebula@sh.itjust.works
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      5 hours ago

      I wonder if it is fishing itself that they don’t like, or if it is the prevalence of fishing photos on dating sites. I know that a lot of guys post fishing photos on their profiles (probably because most men don’t take many photos of themselves but will take photos with a nice catch), so maybe it just seems unoriginal or low effort. I’m honestly not sure, but my only point is that it may not be the hobby itself.

      • pool_spray_098@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        Agreed, I really don’t think it’s the fishing itself.

        Half the problem on any dating site is the classic: 1. Be attractive 2. Don’t be unattractive.

        If the dude is holding a fish but looks like Chris Evans, she will probably still be interested.

        On top of that, dudes holding the fish will overwhelmingly tend to look like the wrap around sunglasses wearing, goatee having, overweight, Trump voting cliche. Women probably build an association to not being compatible with dudes who love fishing after enough times of seeing that and connecting these dots.

        • phx@lemmy.ca
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          11 minutes ago

          I dunno, I know plenty who fish as part of a general interest in outdoorsy stuff and their actually in pretty decent shape.

          I think part of the fishing issue is that I don’t know so many women who actually have as much interest in such as guys, but I do know a lot of guys who don’t do have a lot of interests outside of hunting, fishing, and camping. Cool if you’re into that, but continual weekend trips involving tramping through damp bush to shoot and then skin Bambi, tenting in a mosquito swarm, and hours in a boat plus gutting fish isn’t exactly great dating for many (even if the guy did look like Chris Evans).

      • the_crotch@sh.itjust.works
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        4 hours ago

        I assumed it was a combination of “it’s really common” and “fish are gross” but I don’t look at men’s profiles and don’t fish so I may be way off

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      It’s like 95% of male profiles. Bad selfies and the only picture of them taken by someone else is them holding a fish.

  • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    Lmfao

    Let’s see: I love reading, I am learning French, I paint, I write, I enjoy a bit o astronomy, I am an archer, and I have learned how to blacksmith.

    Yeah this is just a list of activities with no correlation to attractiveness whatsoever

    Edit: let me be clear, I’ve learned to blacksmith the cheating way with propane or natural gas AND the good old fashioned hand cranked coal fired away meant to coat your lungs with soot like a real man. And make sure you bring the borax cause we gonna do some welds

      • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        I mean, I’m apparently good enough to at least have one kid, so I got that going for me. Wasn’t an accident or anything either.

        But I at least have a well paying job so I got that going for me, which is nice.

        Plus, if generalize all women to be like my ex, I don’t want to date again. So being ugly ain’t all bad

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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    6 hours ago

    I’m not into guys but as a woman I’m surprised blacksmithing isn’t higher. How am I supposed to be your knight in shining armor if you can’t make me some shining armor?

    • gdog05@lemmy.world
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      5 hours ago

      It’s going to be boob armor and just leather straps to attach it over a bikini.

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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      5 hours ago

      I’ve forged everything from aluminum to Waspaloy, from handheld to car-sized.

      Unfortunately, I used an industrial press and lots of math. Not sexy. What respondents really mean is hipsters with an anvil. Then you’re wearing an apron with no shirt, sweating, and smashing something hard and repeatedly.

    • AA5B@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      If you were into guys and said that on our first date, I’d be there on our second!

      I’m getting a bit tired of home automation as a hobby anyway - i don’t meet many new people inside my home. 3D printing was next on my list but then I’d have to collect WarHammer miniatures