My mom and her prayer warriors have been praying to get my car fixed quickly. My car has been in the shop for a month. Apparently the omniscient omnipresent God of the universe can’t fix a car.
Look, God is too busy controlling the outcomes of Football games to fix your car.
It’s a US presidential election year, God is busy choosing candidates…
No he’s busy deciding which side is paying harder and will finally win that gruesome, bloody war
I took it in to get the rack and pinion replaced. The mechanic screwed it all up and charged me $1,100. He claimed everything with somebody else’s fault. I took it to another mechanic and paid him $518 to fix that. Then the rack and pinion completely failed and now I have to pay another $1300 to get that fixed. And in the meantime the part was delayed because it was coming from Missouri and there was a giant storm.
I mean, jesus was a carpenter, not a mechanic. Maybe try asking him to install some new windows in your house or something.
Something tells me that they didn’t do triple-pane installs into a modern home back in 0AD.
Good point.
Well he didn’t speak of his own Accord, so I guess he’s not a car diety. Try Ganesh instead.
I mean if god can’t defeat iron chariots (Judges 1:19) what hope does he have dealing with a way way way more advanced self-propelled steel chariot?
Try praying to Joe Pesci. He gets things done.
Yeah, but it’s his girlfriend Marisa Tomei who knows how to fix cars.
Get it done or he’ll break your legs!
Common misconception; someone prayed that your car would stay broken first and He’s gotta honor “first come first served”
He’s only god of the gaps, and there’s no gap for him to fill in our understanding of cars.
I’m listening to Ghost now, friend of Satan 🤘
Are you on the square?
I really was listening to Ghost
Are you on the level?
I get it now. Square Hammer. I’m a bit dense sometimes.
I’m on the circle
Are you ready to swear right here, right now before the devil?
Belial, Behemoth, Beelzebub
Asmodeus, Satanas, LuciferFun fact: You have to be a Christian to believe in the devil. That means you can only worship the devil if you’re a Christian.
The car has free will and chooses to defy God’s will.
And yes, it’s going to car hell.
He’s fixing your car in one of his mysterious ways. Had you gotten the car earlier, you would have veered into an orphanage. God still believes in you, even if you don’t believe in him! Etc…
One of my cousins thanked god that she was able to pay her credit card debt. I nearly broke my neck whilst rolling my eyes at her online post.
🙄
My mom says god works through people. If I have to do all the work, what do I need god for?
The cognitive dissonance is strong with these people.
Counterpoint: He can, but He just won’t.:-P
Side note: I bet if they really wanted your car fixed quickly, they could… ahem… manage to make it happen. 💵💰💸
Even God has to wait for the parts from the manufacturer.
It’s the will of god. god is an asshole. Yes, I purposely didn’t capitalize god.
But Zen can fix your motorcycle.
Even God can’t overcome parts delays and supply chain issues. :(
