So no one is going to by my Gretokens…?

(/s, just in case)

The right’s gotta stick to the rhetoric, though…

“They’re only peaceful because they’re afraid of the military! If them Army boys weren’t there it’d be chaos!”

It’s not just willingly, people pay an exorbitant amount for the “privilege”…

As a man, existing anywhere in public alone with my daughter got me all types of gatekeeping questions and comments. “Giving mommy a break?”, “Must be your day to babysit…”, “Oh is it your weekend?”

I took to telling people that my partner died in childbirth to shut them up. Rude & over the top? Probably, but I shouldn’t have to defend being a parent.

I think they mean the weird 80’s casseroles that were like canned vegetables and soup, topped with fish sticks.

I’m an 80’s/90’s BASIC bitch, so I’m still irrelevant!

Pseudoephedrine is the main ingredient in meth, that’s why they changed all the OTC sinus stuff to phenylephrine years ago, and why the OTC stuff doesn’t work worth a damn anymore.

“Hello, I’m officer Sackless. This traffic stop is brought to you by your excessive speed and the good people of the Wiownyu Corporation. If you would like to know more, scan this code and receive a 20% discount on your traffic fines.”

12345 works as a default a surprisingly large amount.

2580 is another one I’ve used with success.

You’re on the wrong track, I’ve seen this particular abusive relationship before.

This is Trump saying “If I can’t have you, no one will!” and it ends with a murder/suicide…

Only the blue parts

Encrypted traffic and VPN use will be the next thing that flags you as a pirate and triggers a bigger search…

Good luck!

This is going into my “random photos to send scammers” folder!

What about sunglasses? It’s too bright outside of the basement, I need them to see!

I think a swarm of antelopes sounds incredibly terrifying:

Just a mass hooves, fur, and antlers; can’t tell where one ends and the next begins; roaming across the land, leaving only destruction in its wake…

The Alien vs Predator games were a blast. I used to play as the tiny little alien scout: super fast, hard to hit, could sneak around in vents & run up walls & ceilings… Had about half a hit point, lol, but as long as the “alien life cycle” mode was turned off it was great!

…wait, this isn’t The Onion?

I hate this timeline!

They were Potato Bugs or Ball Bugs for me as a kid, until I heard Roly-poly from a kid at summer camp.

In the bag? You think they’re going to hand out a .001¢ bag for free when they can use a .0005¢ staple!? Think of the profit margins!!!

After reading a few more comments, they were walking home from the store, and the 10 year old was on the phone with his father.

At that age I had to walk 4 blocks to catch the bus to school, and cell phones weren’t a thing yet.