I hope everyone had a great week! Hang out. Chat. Talk about what’s going on. Have fun :3
Cab driver guy gendered me and my wife as “girls”. This usually wouldn’t be that notable, except that My Brother In Christ, I was wearing my work uniform, unkempt and worse than zero effort, not even trying voicewise.
Was cab driver guy doing a bit, or is this the definition of winning? I know it’s kinda brainwormed to be suspicious when people gender you correctly, but I tend to expect that my voice will out me most days, but uh it hasnt happened. I feel both extremely satisfied and somewhat confused. Actually I can’t even remember the last time I got gendered wrong, gotta be more than a year ago by now. I’m the scary gender-apathetic dyke I always wished to be…
I got it, it’s 'cause I started waving at people instead of nodding at them, for greetings. This action has changed my Essential Gender Energy from Masculine to Feminine, and I am now synchronised and in-tune with the Divine Feminine. Clearly.youre winning
one time when i was at like 2 years hrt i started passing even with a very lazily shaved depression beard. it almost felt like everyone had extremely bad eyesight or were in on a conspiracy to be nice to me, sometimes
But it turns out you were just winning
we’re all winning now
Update: I’m officially in recovery at the hospital. Everything went extremely well. Took way less time than I expected. I just didn’t update sooner cause I was so doped up on pain meds that everything I said would trail off into nonsense.
so happy for you!- I’m glad it went well!
Awesome glad everything is okay!!! 🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
I’m in such an immense amount of pain today. My cycle decided to start today of all days and it’s causing muscles that were just cut through to cramp up on me, which is so intensely painful that I’m just trying to stay asleep at all times at this point.
I hope it passes quickly
I keep doing gender affirmation for myself in the absolute dumbest possible way by just saying the normal, gender neutral shit I’m doing is actually girl stuff and super femme. Frozen pizzas for dinner is femme now. The worst part about this is that it actually sort of works
That’s the best part wdym? Can confirm frozen pizza is femme, a classic really.
Wearing my new sneakers around the house because they’re so gender affirming
my coworker called me “sweet angel” today. I don’t think she really meant anything by it but oh wow uhhhh…
can you say that 5 more times?HRT question: I understand that smokers aren’t supposed to take estradiol as pills due to the risk of blood clots. Is this true for all types of smoking or only nicotine? Wondering if it’s safe for me to smoke weed.
all types of nicotine, including patches, i believe there is also some correlation with various additives in cigarettes like arsenic as well. weed should be fine if its just weed.
in general you should avoid nicotine at all costs as a trans woman, it also inhibits E
Awesome, good to know
Hi trans mega :)
Some 8.10/8.11 Unjust Depths discussion, mech battles n character things
okay remember how I said I wanted more Murati flashbacks, my heart might not be able to take it. In 8.11 you get to see ten year old Sonya and I’m like BAWWWWWWWW LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS, LOOK HOW EXCITED SHE IS AT GETTIN GENDER AFFIRMED Zasha is such a cool older sister, she lectures about the meaning of combat and supports her kid sister transitioning… but like look at this adorable lil autist, “It’s like crazy how good I am” yes it is you little fucking lovable dork, you ARE the hero!!! and she has a stuffed cuttlefish lol. I wonder what thats about =)Also the mech fights in this chapter? 11/10 no notes, Sieglinde getting battered by Khajida with two chainswords while receiving a vicious roasting had me like FUCKING GET ER KHAJIDA, SHOW THAT BITCH WHAT A UNION PILOT WITH SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR CAN DO!!! Similarly, Sonya diving out of the way of the Option drone, baiting it to shoot the Jagdkaiser because Selene is a fucking idiot? When Sonya says I’m not a lab rat! I’m Sonya Shalikova! You think this is fun? Are you enjoying yourself?, uncritical support to Sonya in her pitched battle to murder Selene. There is an interesting footnote tho:
“She generated no ambient emotions for Selene to pick up. She was invisible to psionic senses.”
I thought Sonya just had really strong latent powers that stopped Maryan from reading her, but… is the implication here that Sonya is invisible to psionic vision cause shes just that fuckin autistic that her emotions are unreadable?
Shalikova felt like crying - she was crying - there was so much pouring out of her. She knew it was irrational, but she was so affected by the emotions she felt from Selene.
It definitely feels subtextually like psionic autism. Lol.
In other news, and since it so rudely interrupted the climax of battle, (a classic shonen battle trope) oh god for fuck’s sake, I didn’t realise we’d be getting flashback scenes of sad egg vibes in this, oh it puts me in mind of James H in Nevada holy shit. Going home to his shitty apartment in Star City to try on a dress and smoke weed and be depressed, as Marina does. I am so fucking dismayed that the word transvestism survived from the surface world, oh fuckin man
Republic delenda est…I do find it kind of funny that Marina has to shoulder all the internalised transphobia in this plot, because everyone else is too cool and rad.
psionic autism is the name of my new band
baby sonya is so good! she’s so excited to be a girl and be like zasha. i really like the characterization we get of zasha where she’s clearly not 100% on board with the change but is really trying as hard as she can to not let sonya know. it IS crazy how good she is!
god yeah the khadija sieglinde fight is so good. sieglinde is so caught up in her own conception of herself, where she hates fighting and has given up any hope for the future even for herself, that she cannot imagine that anyone she views as a peer could have legitimate principles. i feel bad for her, she’s incredibly pathetic
selene is pretty pathetic as well but in a very different way. i still like her because she sucks in a way i find compelling but she SUCKS. it rules seeing sonya kick her ass
baby egg marina is so sad. the republic is truly evil they are JUST america and this story understands how horrifying that is. the bit where they have cars for literally no reason and they make it so much worse to live there is like. damn, this story gets it
also it’s so funny that all the gia agents have american president code names. america is always on its bullshit, even in the underwater postapocalypseSick bandname!!
I absolutely demand the author quit tugging my heart strings like this, I’m not gonna last if these flashbacks to dorky kid versions of my favourite characters persist. Gets me every time ✨ I was very pleased to learn that Zasha does not deserve the wall tbh, the entire sequence is wonderful. Can we have more Zasha too actually?
Y’know, the Antenora is literally just a ship of fools huh? I think Norn and Adelheid are the only ones onboard who aren’t total losers. Selene is a eugenics-pick-me, Gertrude is an empty-headed dork who puts “get GF” before any critical thought, Sieglinde projects her total lack of conviction & ideals onto her lifelong for and gets rekt for it(I was glued to the page). They’re all clowns and I think I love it - Gertrude absolutely deserved that dressing-down Adelheid gave her, unexpected based Adelheid moment.
I still don’t find Selene to be that compelling, like I don’t want to be in her head unlike everybody else, but if her purpose was to get sandbagged by Sonya, job well done. The fight was superb, I could watch Sonya take a psionic supremacist down a peg any day. I was mad when the Marina flashback cut this fight off, I know someone is gonna save Sonya but I wanna see, pls let her be ok :/
Idk, sitting in your dark, shitty apartment in lacy undergarments and smoking your depression away, I mean it’s kind of a vibe. It’s such a vivid image and I’ve seen it a few times, I was nodding along. “Ah yes, relatable. Can’t wait for her to be forcefemmed.” My mood was kind of all over the place reading Marina’s bit, there was that scene and then the “Piedmont must have thought he was a fucking queer” which made me snort, I love how crass and sweary Marina is. But then you meet Leda and it’s like
That is not how I expected the " had a knife held to her cock" line to be paid off?? How should I feel??? I guess I expected the Leda/Marina/Bethany thing to be… okay well maybe not “wholesome” but not THAT, what the fuck. No adequate face, except kbity-how I guess. Consent, where are you now…Lmao okay is it weird that I kind of hate the Republic more than the Empire? The Republic seems like a very serious hellhole, like maybe as bad as the slavery empire. In general I am dismayed that so much
has survived under the sea. The Union should liberate this place fr fr.ty
never! next up is baby ulyana living under the empire and being radicalized into a revolutionary! yeah zasha isn’t perfect but she’s doing self crit and trying her best, and she clearly loves sonya so much. though i have bad news regarding what we already know about zasha
yeah lmao. hunter iii isn’t a loser but that’s because she’s very no thoughts head empty all she wants to do is
grilleat raw meat! selene sucks but it’s so fun to see her get wrecked by someone she sees as lesser. sieglinde’s fight is better but that’s not really saying much given how good it ismarina’s whole thing is so good. the leda stuff is like. NOT what i expected and it’s wild. and no i think it’s very fair to hate the republic, they’re INCREDIBLY evil. truly madiha gets it
yw!
Oh nooooo that’ll be sad vibes, I’ll end up discovering why Yana is such a dork and fumbles cool cultural catgirls
Way better than Deshnov, I was worried every trans-sibling was gonna be a clown… I will say the Children’s Halls are incredibly fascinating to me, that kids get raised with a degree of autonomy and all, I think I dig that.Ah right I literally forgot about Hunter III I love her! Uncritical support to our hungry aphotic salamander!!! Her head-empty is very refreshing actually. Potomac was also not a loser even if the Sunlight org is pretty sus. All of the silly puppies onboard though, Yurii and Petra and also Ingrid, they’re kinda losers too if pitiable =) Where is my dog girl communism, why so few? Idk though, I mean Khajida v Sieglinde is super killer, but Sonya v Selene that begins with failson getting rekt? Sonya thanking Maryan for her psionics? I adore that shit maybe just as much.
Yeah uh when she forcefemmes you at knifepoint?? I… guess that’s something?
I keep hoping Marina is okay but she is so clearly not. The republic is also an empire >:3i love that cultural catgirl is catching on, though i never watched that show
yeah i was referencing the children’s halls when you got to that deshnov flashback. kids have options if they want independence! it’s cool, i dig it
hmm. the mechanics of the selene fight are cooler, but the 20 year history between khadija and sieglinde is so good, realizing the true extent to which sieglinde had been wallowing in her misery over realizing that she was a tool for empire without seeing an alternative is just killer. but that’s a good point, sonya thanking maryam is v good
yeah marina is very much not ok. the republic is exactly as much of an empire as the empire yeah
Idk the reference I just thought it was funny c:
Ohhhhhh now I see =) Yeah that’s really cool, fuck the Union is so rad all the time…
I love that both happen at once, excited to see Sonya kiss her cuttlefish when she gets back! Also though I just got to 8.13 and I’m like MURATI NO YOU SHOULDNT BE OUT HERE WTF, DONT BREAK YOUR FUCKING NECK YOU DUMB BITCH
STOP THAT, although also hey, maybe Karuniya can develop some character traits here? I do want to see her become her own person…E: Oh a Karuniya flashback!
E2: Oh… a Karuniya flashback
Either way Marina is gonna need to get those brainworms out, she is doing the lib thing of going “weh capitalism bad evil empire” but still calling people “commies”… Marina Re-Education Camp
the reference is all purpose cultural catgirl nukunuku
which i THOUGHT was one of the anime airing on american tv that had the 9/11 sympathies message during broadcast but i misremembered, it was just on the same channel. (serial experiments lain neon genesis evangelion and sakura wars were the three)
and yeah i wish i lived in the union so fucking bad
yeah they both rule. this arc just has really good booking! and the karuniya murati duo mech is cool as hell
i like karuniya’s flashback
i think it’s cute and i like hearing her talk about ocean facts. but she’s still pretty ancillary to murati, i do wish she got more on her own hereyeah marina is still a massive lib, regardless of how sympathetic she is
i feel like i’m going to get banned from the trans mega if i post too much so i only post like 15% of the stuff that i want to. still fun though :)
Post however you wish imo. Activity is always welcome in my eyes. Plus it’s always fun to see a babby trans work through their feelings. It’s stuff that almost all of us went through at some point.
alright but i’m screenshotting this comment and pulling it up again when next week’s trans megathread has 500 comments and half of them are mine
Me checking the megathread at 6am the day it goes up and calculating that the comments are 45% me by volume
I’ve been had!
24 hour surveillance of our local pet rabbit’s brainwaves
local pet rabbit’s brainwaves
…oh wait that’s me. i can’t believe i forgot about the fact i’ve been using big chungus in my username for the past… 3 years
I feel this way too (I am a loud poster) but when are you not supposed to POST HARD on bear website?? The people here are very nice.
spam me. im ready
You should definitely post as much as you want!
uninformed consent clinic where they tell you what HRT will do to you only through very cryptic poetry in a centuries dead language
CW: internet transphobia and bad feelings
Hate seeing “AFAB vs AMAB” essentialism and “transfems are like this” bullshit even on lefty places like here. I’m probably just being oversensitive and should delete all social media but youtube animal facts. I feel like I can’t trust anywhere on the internet to accept trans people.
They just made it the new gender binary to do essentialism with again
Did something shitty happen on bear website that I (thankfully) missed?Who do I need to fight?
deleted by creator
:O whats the deal? if you feel safe to explain?
deleted by creator
What do you think was a warning sign for that
shaved my chest, shaved my back, epilated almost all of my legs and feet, been shaving my face far more regularly. oh god it’s really happening i’m transing my gender. i’m honestly running out of body hair to take off
I just bought the at home laser hair removal thing
I want to know more pls!
I saw the Braun IPL 5 Silk Pro (think that’s the name) recommended here last week.
Apparently, you can get near permanent results in just a couple months.
It’s in the mail now, and I’m gonna nuke my legs when it gets here!
Shit really? Those aren’t even that expensive…
I can keep you updated hah
I’ll be excited if it works well for you!My ad recommendations are super confused at the moment. I’m getting trans girl recommendations but also deep voice truck guy home Depot ads.
Super weird to get trans ads targeted at me. It’s like the one form of gender affirmation I don’t want haha
It’s gonna take a month to deliver
Yes lmk
now personally I’ve never heard any good things about those IPR lasers, but I am really interested in seeing how it turns out for you. I’ve been able to use the epilator on most of my body but my chest hair is too thick to be pulled and I know facial hair is going to be worse. If the at home laser works good for you though, shit, I might as well get one too
One of the girls in last week’s thread was talking highly about it, and I just believe whatever they say lol.
This is apparently the new line so perhaps there was some tech breakthrough that makes it more viable.
I really can’t stand epilation. Maybe it’s because I bought a cheap one, but it just yanks the hair but doesn’t pull it out, so I have to go over it like 8 times.
it fuckin hurts but it works for me. it lasts for like a week but when the new stuff grows back it’s so spare and thin i can hardly feel it being pulled
Unjust Depths 8.8/8.9 talk
“In this single moment, Gertrude’s dreams could crumble right in front of her. All of her work, suffering, all the begging and cheating and the corpses she climbed - for nothing.”
Self Awareness Gertrude does not reflect on her actions. She truly does think in waves. The battle against the Antenora is just starting up for the Brigand crew, and I’m pretty hyped.
Meanwhile,
Right? She wished the little nagging voice in her head was more supportive.
MOOD, SONYA
I like seeing Shalikova being CO as well, her internal bitching about how much better Murati is at this has me like OMG GO SIT WITH HER ✨ I believe in her ability to do this sometime since Murati is a perfect bean and could not be more approachable if she tried. I find the icy dynamics between them fascinating though, it really seemed back at the 3rd Battle of Thassalid that Sonya outright hated Murati or smth
So here is your incredibly blursed thought for the day: They should kiss. Murati and Sonya would make kind of a fun pair… Not as much obvious chemistry as Ulyana/Aaliyah or indeed Sonya and Maryan, but the way so much of Sonya’s mindshare is spent thinking jealously/in admiration about how much better of a CO and tactician Murati is… combined with that initial awkwardness, I’m seeing it already. Sonya, nervous and gay, using her reverence for Murati’s battlefield acumen as a shield to hide her hopelessly gay crush. Murati is very hardheaded, but I can see her wanting to be soft on a squadmate, being taken a little with Sonya’s obviously flustered demanour, and things blossoming a bit from there.
That could be a cute AU fic, I think. Writing a blursed T4T pairing for Unjust Depths cause there’s not any so far? Even though it feels a bit dirty, I may or may not be willing to brutalise A) Karuniya and B) the fan-favourite cuttlefish narratively to make this happen.
blursed t4t
shalikova should just talk to her! murati would love the chance to share wisdom
hmm, i can see it! that’d definitely be a cute au! no need to brutalize maryam at least, you could just say she made her way onto a different ship. karuniya is a tougher nut to crack. it wouldn’t really feel right if she just got killed or something, maybe her and murati’s fight at the very start of the story goes worse and they break up? alternatively: both murati and shalikova have two hands! though i understand if the drama is part of the appeal
Cursed considerations
YO SHE SHOULD
That’s what I love, it’ll be great when they finally do talk, but also poor Shalikova, she must get there in her own time…Oh, yeah I didn’t mean literally brutalise lol, I meant more that while Maryan could easily still exist in this heavily cursed AU with her own arc and such, I don’t think Karuniya would survive the separation process. I still must catch up, but her entire character currently orbits around everyone’s favourite Husband Material, and literally the most evocative thought she’s had was that bit about walking in on Murati fucking her roommate or whatever. She is nice but has not done anything yet :/ I never actually thought about having them break up in-universe but that’s a good idea too… hmmmm…
I did consider doing humorous poly shenanigans, but uh I’m a monogamous nerd so I’d probably be less than equipped to write that :> easier to just AU it… Imma keep it 100 with u though, I’m actually more surprised that a massive polycule hasn’t broken out on the Brigand. My goodreads marxist lady brought it up, but IRL if you put that many trans lesbians in one place, you’d need a chart like a spider web to disentangle all the poly drama right??? Maybe someday…
thonk-trans
hmm yeah that’s fair. karuniya does get some more stuff in the future but yeah, she’s definitely a more periphery character. imagine the argument going worse, it leads to things being really awkward on the brigand, murati is throwing herself into her job and trying to get closer to her fellow pilots and really fixating on trying to get closer to sonya because she thinks sonya doesn’t like her as sonya pushes her away because she’s flustered and admiring her? this could be great
BIG thonk-trans
I am looking forward to Karuniya getting more stuff also!! I do think it’s fun that Murati has a stabke healthy relationship, Karu has just been kinda sidelined by everything else so far…
OH NOOOOO THAT IS REALLY GOOD I HAVE TO WRITE THIS DOWN AAAAAAAA MAYBE THIS WILL HAPPEN
sicko-trans
karuniya and murati are cute and stable and not much else rn, yeah
if it happens i NEED to read it this is rapidly getting very compelling to me
power-sicko
Okay I’m gonna catch up and then study a bunch before I even attempt this, but yeah me too. This started as a borderline showerthought when I was at work, but now I’m like “This is the secret best pairing that nobody considered!!! I must make it happen!!!”
:sicko-hyper:
i would ONE HUNDREND PERCENT love to read this. i just checked ao3 and there are 7 fics in the fandom so more would certainly be appreciated
I was getting a factory warranty for my car registered and I had to give my legal name w/ driver’s license --I haven’t gotten that shit changed yet – but my voice training must have paid off because person on the phone just carried on calling me ma’am for the rest of the call. ☺️
