I cried a lot at the end, and I’ve been tearing up off and on thinking about it for hours after finishing. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I didn’t expect to be so viscerally affected by it.
yeah. genuinely life changing. i cannot put into words how important it is to me, how much of a gut punch all of akio’s abuse is as we see it in more and more detail, and how uplifting and joyous the moment where utena and anthy truly reach out and see each other for the first time is. that ending is perfect, imo
I can’t know for sure, having only just seen it, and I can’t really articulate it yet, but I do feel different already. I’ll need to ruminate on it for a while.
part of why i say it’s lifechanging is that it was, as far as i can remember, the first real critique of liberal feminism i ever really absorbed. i was a teenager, maybe 15 when i watched it for the first time. i started the show completely cheering for utena to become a prince and by the end i was able to understand that “women does the shitty thing a man does” is not actually a worthy goal and that it really just maintains the systems of patriarchal control. it fundamentally changed the way i looked at the world
it also changed how i looked at art, prior to utena i was very much a “the curtains are fucking blue” type, i didn’t get symbolism and didn’t want to. but utena changed that as well. i remember getting to the scene with touga and saionji on their shitty bike and going “ohhhh, i see! this is a parallel to the akio car scenes indicating that touga is (and always has been) trying to imitate the adult masculine ideal of akio, but that’s fundamentally impossible for him and it ruins his relationship with his friend/boyfriend!” and from that point forward i was able to do media analysis good, like i saw the code in the matrix
utena’s mixture of obtuse and opaque symbolism with some blindingly obvious stuff is really good for that sort of thing, i was able to instantly understand a lot of the stuff going on like the car representing sex and masculinity and adulthood and all that and plenty of the shadow plays make sense, while stuff like the coffins or all the flower symbolism or the duel themes i can turn over in my brain and constantly find new meaning
started the show completely cheering for utena to become a prince and by the end i was able to understand that “women does the shitty thing a man does” is not actually a worthy goal
I sort of did the same thing, despite now feeling like I should’ve known better. It forced me to think “if I can turn my brain off for media, in what other areas am I just passively accepting liberal feminist perspectives before being led into a similarly jarring conclusion?”
utena’s mixture of obtuse and opaque symbolism with some blindingly obvious stuff
That’s really the perfect way to put it. And then it blends that approach at times to lead you deeper, like the butterfly/chrysalis/caterpillar/leaf shadowboxes (probably not the most opaque imagery, but it’s the example that comes to mind); by the time it gets to Mikage’s backstory there’s just a hand on the screen pointing to them. I feel like it’d be a really frustrating show to watch if you were committed to a “the curtains are fucking blue” approach alone.
Coming to it much later in life, watching Utena helped me understand my own experience of girlhood. With that late bloomer/second adolescence that queer people of a certain age can experience, my chronology of becoming an adult feels like it’s all over the place. But as I was watching, I could integrate my experiences—from some of my earliest memories to things that happened to me just a few years ago—by superimposing them onto the characters into a somewhat coherent narrative. I guess that’s just a drawn out way of describing catharsis, but…
I sort of did the same thing, despite now feeling like I should’ve known better. It forced me to think “if I can turn my brain off for media, in what other areas am I just passively accepting liberal feminist perspectives before being led into a similarly jarring conclusion?”
yeah, it really makes you consider the way you view the world, because even on rewatches i find myself cheering for some of that stuff. it’s a very appealing narrative, and it’s important to rethink how we view it going forward
I guess that’s just a drawn out way of describing catharsis, but…
yeah…
the finale always gets me, i’m sobbing every time
i’m always happy when people enjoy the things i enjoy! i’m really glad to be able to expose people to new things, and i’m glad you enjoyed!
I cried a lot at the end, and I’ve been tearing up off and on thinking about it for hours after finishing. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I didn’t expect to be so viscerally affected by it.
yeah. genuinely life changing. i cannot put into words how important it is to me, how much of a gut punch all of akio’s abuse is as we see it in more and more detail, and how uplifting and joyous the moment where utena and anthy truly reach out and see each other for the first time is. that ending is perfect, imo
I can’t know for sure, having only just seen it, and I can’t really articulate it yet, but I do feel different already. I’ll need to ruminate on it for a while.
It really is.
part of why i say it’s lifechanging is that it was, as far as i can remember, the first real critique of liberal feminism i ever really absorbed. i was a teenager, maybe 15 when i watched it for the first time. i started the show completely cheering for utena to become a prince and by the end i was able to understand that “women does the shitty thing a man does” is not actually a worthy goal and that it really just maintains the systems of patriarchal control. it fundamentally changed the way i looked at the world
it also changed how i looked at art, prior to utena i was very much a “the curtains are fucking blue” type, i didn’t get symbolism and didn’t want to. but utena changed that as well. i remember getting to the scene with touga and saionji on their shitty bike and going “ohhhh, i see! this is a parallel to the akio car scenes indicating that touga is (and always has been) trying to imitate the adult masculine ideal of akio, but that’s fundamentally impossible for him and it ruins his relationship with his friend/boyfriend!” and from that point forward i was able to do media analysis good, like i saw the code in the matrix
utena’s mixture of obtuse and opaque symbolism with some blindingly obvious stuff is really good for that sort of thing, i was able to instantly understand a lot of the stuff going on like the car representing sex and masculinity and adulthood and all that and plenty of the shadow plays make sense, while stuff like the coffins or all the flower symbolism or the duel themes i can turn over in my brain and constantly find new meaning
I sort of did the same thing, despite now feeling like I should’ve known better. It forced me to think “if I can turn my brain off for media, in what other areas am I just passively accepting liberal feminist perspectives before being led into a similarly jarring conclusion?”
That’s really the perfect way to put it. And then it blends that approach at times to lead you deeper, like the butterfly/chrysalis/caterpillar/leaf shadowboxes (probably not the most opaque imagery, but it’s the example that comes to mind); by the time it gets to Mikage’s backstory there’s just a hand on the screen pointing to them. I feel like it’d be a really frustrating show to watch if you were committed to a “the curtains are fucking blue” approach alone.
Coming to it much later in life, watching Utena helped me understand my own experience of girlhood. With that late bloomer/second adolescence that queer people of a certain age can experience, my chronology of becoming an adult feels like it’s all over the place. But as I was watching, I could integrate my experiences—from some of my earliest memories to things that happened to me just a few years ago—by superimposing them onto the characters into a somewhat coherent narrative. I guess that’s just a drawn out way of describing catharsis, but…
yeah, it really makes you consider the way you view the world, because even on rewatches i find myself cheering for some of that stuff. it’s a very appealing narrative, and it’s important to rethink how we view it going forward
i think i get what you mean
Thanks again for the recommendation and thanks for talking to me about it!