• paddirn@lemmy.worldEnglish
    661·
    9 months ago

    Is it similar for straight women then? Do straight women get uncomfortable when they see other naked women, but it’s “ok” when watching porn?

    I think the difference is the subject of the image/video. If it’s an image/video of just a naked guy with his dick hanging out, that’s the subject you’re supposed to be focused on. I’m like, “Ok, I don’t care about this, this does nothing for me.”

    Watching a naked dude in porn get his dick sucked or have sex, the activity and the woman is the focus and you’re often meant to stand in for the guy. The guy becomes even more sexually objectified than the woman, he’s just this background thing doing repetitive motions so that I can see the woman physically react to it. The more generic and unassuming the guy looks, the better, I literally want nothing the guy does to call attention to himself.

    That’s why older porn is so jarring sometimes because of the weird habit of cutting to the guy’s moaning face in the middle of everything. Like, what the fuck was the thinking behind that “technique”?

    • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
      62·
      9 months ago

      That’s why older porn is so jarring sometimes because of the weird habit of cutting to the guy’s moaning face in the middle of everything. Like, what the fuck was the thinking behind that “technique”?

      So, I am pulling this out of my ass (no pun intended) but I got a theory here. I think the way porn is consumed and its intention have shifted along with our perception and experience of sex.

      Older porn seems to be more like “a movie depicting people having sex”. So it shows the woman and the man having sex, touching, kissing, enjoying. Both are crucial parts of the act. It also appears like the main function is to get you horny, not to get you off. I remember overhearing older people talking about watching porn together before having sex. I know this can still be a thing, but I’d argue that most modern porn is neither made for that purpose nor directed/designed in a way that would work for this.

      Modern porn, in its insane abundance, is to be consumed alone for the purpose to jerk off to, to activate some dopamine receptors or whatnot, and its notorious addictiveness that makes you want more and more intense stimuli. You don’t need people for that, you need bodies.

      The other thing is that sex - maybe because of the oversexualization, social media, internet, being wired 24/7, or maybe because of hookups having become so common, anonymous and risk free - has become somewhat sterile. Almost like an out of body experience. I forgot who said it - something like “we fantasize about fucking our partner while we fuck our partner”. We’re not in touch with ourselves and don’t experience the sex we have while we have it, we are almost disconnecting from the experience. It’s absurd but common.

      You find this “sterility” in modern porn too; perfect bodies with no hair, no shadows, no marks of any kind, almost no body contact except the genitals. Just because there is a cumshot somewhere doesn’t make it less sterile or more intimate. You paraphrased this when you described the guy standing in for the viewer, being objectified even more than the woman, being this background thing doing repetitive motions.

      (Disclaimer: I’m talking about a modern “we” and and older “they” in very broad terms here. Obviously people 30 years ago had disconnected sexual experiences and anonymous hookups and people nowadays also experience concentrated, fulfilling sex in which they are very much in touch with themselves. Definitely porn was used to be wanked to in the 70s just like some couples enjoy watching porn together today. And within its insane abundance you can most definitely find modern porn that is not sterile.)

          • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
            1·
            9 months ago

            Lol his stuff is great. My favorite is his debate with Jordan Peterson where he didn’t even realize it was a debate and just basically gave a talk about something he wanted to talk about lol. I’m a big fan but I wish he was sometimes a bit better at communicating his ideas effectively.

            • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
              1·
              9 months ago

              I wish I could read his books but I read it in his “voice” (with all the snorting and sniffing) and that makes it impossible to read for me.

    • Linnce@lemmy.world
      14·
      9 months ago

      As a straight woman, I don’t focus on the guy either and it’s weird when he gets the spotlight (although it’s very helpful when he is attractive). It’s more about putting myself in the woman’s shoes and having the activity done to “me”.

      And it may be a cultural thing but I’m not uncomfortable seeing other women naked.

    • deezbutts@lemm.ee
      42·
      9 months ago

      Right? This meme is a stupid take.

      Context is everything, it’s like criticizing dudes for liking the ocean but not wanting to look at pictures of saltwater.

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.caEnglish
    39·
    9 months ago

    Also the average straight porn video dedicates on average about a third of the video to fallacio, where the only sexual organ we see is the penis.

  • Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world
    28·
    9 months ago

    Isn’t it part of the fantasy. You see the sexual things being done to the dick and it gets your horny because you imagine its your dick? Or rather fantasise about those things being done to you.

        • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
          41·
          9 months ago

          I wish when I was younger someone had hammered into me that the more “respectable” the person seems the greater the threat they represent.

          If Satan were real and a human he would work for an insurance company or a major bank. Sitting there quitely devastating entire populations via financial instruments that not even god understands.

          Fuck hurricane and some druggy who needs your money for his fix, we are talking the difference between you spending your golden years eating cat food or not off a social security check that was garnished to pay debt.

    • Senseless@feddit.de
      101·
      9 months ago

      If the person otherwise has female featurrs, I’m in. Does this make me bi or…?

      • PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world
        171·
        9 months ago

        This is a valid preference I’m and tired of pretending it’s not. Vagina, penis, doesn’t matter. I am attracted to feminine features and a penis doesn’t get in the way of that.

      • Allero
        73·
        9 months ago

        Depends on whether you’re into trans women only or femboys too.

        Trans women = perfectly straight

        Femboys = yes, it’s gay and does make you bi

        But that’s all semantics and labels anyway, just enjoy whoever you’re attracted to (except children and animals).

      • Blyfh@lemmy.world
        3·
        9 months ago

        There are labels for being attracted to traits associated with a specific gender, not the gender itself.

        Google gynosexual :)

  • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
    231·
    9 months ago

    So I’ve always been confused by why it’s odd that I don’t like seeing nude dudes, but if you include a nude female or female doing sexual acts I’m excited about it.

    Like people, it’s not rocket science. She could be deep throating a goddamn banana and I’ll get excited to watch it. Once naked ladies are in a scene I somehow don’t even recognize that the actors are really in the scene. It’s not that I suddenly like dick, it’s that my attention literally can’t see it.

    As an example, in old school stuff they used to pan over to the dude plowing the girl, and only the dude was in the shot. That broke my attention and always had to skip it, cause, quite honestly, I ain’t into being plowed by a dude.

  • John_McMurray@lemmy.world
    181·
    9 months ago

    Yeah idk. Never been into “straight” porn, like I wanna look at a dude, and there’s plenty of women only films.