I’m also lactose intolerant, but the devil doesn’t sleep just cause I stopped fightin’ him.
I also refuse to tolerate lactose. Godspeed.
This made my partner and me laugh out loud. Thank you.
It made me shoot milk out of my nose!
Which is troubling because I was drinking Diet Pepsi.
Out here making the real sacrifices.
Somebody’s got to. 😤
You are not the Batman the people wanted. Or the Batman the city needs. You aren’t Batman. But you ARE a hero serving the needs the people don’t have but we didn’t need pumpkin spice lattes yet here we are. I salute you not Batman.
I WEAR HOCKEY PANTS.
You don’t need me telling you this, but if you’re lactose intolerant, try the lactose enzyme supplements before and after a meal to help digestion.
Lactaid I think is one of them
Oh, I took 'em. But I ate too much. It was like a man versus a military.
I’m in the same boat after Alfredo pizza, some delicious iced Raspberry sticks and a glass of milk (to take the fire away from the pepper flakes that were a lot stronger than anticipated) 😅 popped like 6 lactase enzyme pills by the time I was done and good Lord my ass still has a barking spider hiding up in there somewhere! 🤣🍑💨
Assuming I have the bottle on hand, I’ll pop a couple of lactase pills every quarter of a pint of ice cream. As I understand it, your body needs to have the pills dissolve with the food. I’ll usually have like 6 by the end like you. Lol
However, you may not be lactose intolerant. There’s also the possibility of having a straight up dairy allergy.
have some tea.
It’s almost time for sleep, otherwise I would love some. The caffeine would definitely clear me out.
Peppermint tea or a spoonful of peppermint oil is my go to for lactose (or any kind) of stomach ache. Tastes like toothpaste, but it works great!
I accidentally ate a 12 pack of ice cream sandwiches in one sitting last month.
You too?!
did you trip and fall onto them? like, after #6 how was it accidental?
I’m frankly impressed you survived the experience, imagine it was…something on the other side.
Ha. Like that time I accidentally a Coca-Cola bottle.
Get some rest and go find some bacon. Until you can we’ll be thinking of you.
Is this really a remedy? Like how they say fatty foods and bread help with a hangover or something?
MaineMaple and bacon ice cream is good
As someone who is clearly sensitive to multiple food types but seemingly completely incapable of figuring it out, you have my sympathies.
What kind of ice cream??
I had my butter pecan ice cream blended into a shake, and I got a small scoop of a flavor called Cookie Monster (blue sweet cream ice cream with cookie dough and Oreo’s) since I really wanted to try it.
Oh damn that sounds fantastic!!
maybe beware of dehydration
Hell yea, the porcelain rodeo is the part I look forward to
Yeehaw! 🤠
Hmm if you drink vinegar will it turn into cheese? Cheese is easier to digest than milk.
Or even BETTER! It stays in, mixes into cheese, comes out as a cheese…log. A cheddar loaf, if you will. A veritable effluence of proper stinky cheese.
BETTER
-_- really?
I’m an atheist, but they need Jesus.
same.
Look at the bright side — you probably won’t have to worry about weight gain. It’s just going to exit the other end in a hurry.
in a hurry.
or all at once. NEVER TRUST A FART people, trust me on this one. NEVER.
Points to you
This is what hurt looks like, people. Note it well.
Puts a hand on your shoulder
You didn’t deserve to be betrayed like that. Neither did your pants. It’s not your fault.
the struggle is real. pfffftt
Vegan ice creams are pretty tasty. Signed, devil #2
I ate a half a loaf of bread in one sitting once and then discovered that eating that much bread in one go will fuck you up. Bread sweats are real. I was soaking in sweat and shivering, horrific cramps are the worst shits.
Never again.
I ate two boxes of cereal in 4 days. I now have the shits, chills, nausea, heartburn, weakness and general feeling of death disease.
