Anon wants that BUSSY without social stigmas. Based and gay.
The funniest part about this to me is that the AIDs epidemic actually forced medical researchers to accept that sometimes guys have sex with other guys, and they even created the term “Men who have Sex with Men” or MSM to cover this fact, since they aren’t necessarily gay or bi.
Like, society needs to get over this. Sometimes people have sex with other people. Sometimes they happen to be different genders, sometimes they’re the same. It only means whatever it means to the people fucking and little else
Did they say no homo first?
No but they kept their socks on so it’s good
Women will leave him? I’m surprised to hear this.
I’m not. I’ve seen it happen many times to friends. Straight girls can make out drunk at a bar/party and that’s the end of it, but two men doing so are absolutely and irreversiblly gay.
It’s just yet another facet of gender enforcement and cishet normalization. Heck during the first season of Love is Blind an engaged couple breaks up because he admitted to his fiance that he has slept with men before. Not that reality TV relationships are real relationships, but there are vast majority of women who see it as a deal breaker.
Unless of course you’re just doubting anon talks to women at all. In which case, yeah… sus… 😒
There’s a streamer who I use to follow. Use to because she slowly went alt right. Anyway, one of her hangups with partners was refusing to date any man she suspected of being bi because she didn’t want a penis that was up an ass in her. She also believes that most men are bisexual. She probably only dates men who are vocally homophobic.
Do the men she fucks not wash their junk?
bi-/homophobic steamer went alt right you say?
sounds like she didn’t really “go” alt right as much as she came out as alt right. phrasing intended.
Her pronouns became alt/right you say?
Easy solution, only date bottoms
She probably only dates men who are vocally homophobic.
You mean the ones who’re in the closet?
how does she feel about her ass being penetrated her or penetrating a guy’s ass?
The less I know about her opinions on sex, the better. She seemed to believe any outrageous sex act was more common than it probably was and decry the loss of common sense.
Did her streamer name coincidentally have something to do with 👟⬇️👨?
No. Cherries is my only hint.
I think the difference is the perceived energy barrier if one wanted to fool around on their partner if they a bi vs het.
A bi guy could, hypothetically, find a guy on grindr pretty much on a whim if he wanted to. This is a much lower barrier than straight guys face unless they seek a sex worker. If you are a woman in the early stages of dating someone, where you don’t know yet how much you can trust a guy, if a guy tells you he is bi that can come off as a higher cheating risk than a straight guy.
Straight guys dating a bi-girl don’t have a similar perceived risk increase. Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment. But also - finding a new girl to date is considered harder than finding an interested guy. So the ‘cheating’ risk doesn’t feel that much higher for guys dating a bi-girl compared to a straight girl; he may feel like he is still mostly competing against other guys.
Is this fair or even realistic? No, this is based on perceived stereotypes rather than the behaviors and character of individuals.
But this plays out at a stage of dating where people don’t know each other well yet and are relying on heuristics.
It’s also that gay sex is gross, and lesbian sex is ‘hot’.
The policing around male sexuality is far more intense than it is around female sexuality. Also applies to sexual assault and statutory rape. a lady does it, NBD, if a guy does it, it’s a heinous act.
Further, how many people agonize about female pedophiles vs male pedophiles?
Just shows how deeply ingrained power relations are in society with an unproportional low complementing awareness and reflection about it.
I’m just saying: as a guy, this is not the only double standard, and not the only thing that people see as “you did it once so you’re $thing forever” that guys go through.
It’s probably one of the most notable though.
As men, we deal with a lot of judgemental shit and we’re expected to deal with it “like a man”… Whatever the fuck that means.
Another good example of this is crying. If you have a mental breakdown and fall into a crying fit, people will brand you as a cry baby or some shit, and that will stay with you for a long ass time.
There’s so much more. I don’t have time to think of, nor detail any of it. Any fellas that have examples, I invite you too add them in reply. Ladies, you can too. And anyone else can, honestly; let’s not forget our non-binary family.
I’ve had two relationships with women immediately go downhill after I cried in front of them. It was like someone flipped a switch and turned off any physical attraction they had to me.
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I’m glad I’m not your friend.
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Grow up.
Wild thing to say after expressing one of the most childish opinions I’ve ever seen.
I’ll make sure that next time a loved one dies I’m not in public!! Just because some dude finds it uncomfortable to see other people be sad or upset. I’ll call my mom now, let her know she can only die when I’m at home in private.
my nephew was murdered, I helped raise him as a teenager while my brother was in the military. I cried in front of my “friends” and they judged me. They are no longer my friends. Terrible people. just like you
have your mental breakdown
You defeated your own point
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“If any of my friends are stressed and pushed to the breaking point, they need to schedule their mental breakdown in advance for a place and time when I am not around so they don’t inconvenience me.”
That’s more or less what you sound like
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Bi men here, progressive women are not like that. Only “progressive” (read: plays lip service to some popular cause, until it’s popular, often are TERFs etc.) do that, and you just need to skip on them, for more than one reason. I almost dated one, she turned out to be a “progressive” anti-abortionist, because “babies are people too”, and “you can just use contraception”.
This is comment is proof the LGBT people can lie too… “Its not the good ones, only the evil ones”.
Meanwhile, almost every other guy in the world that admits to sucking a cock even once and hes kicked out of the “youre so hot” gang forever by some progressive women. And no, its not just the ones its ok to hate cos social media said so.
It makes me bifurious
At least your not bifurcated.
I chuckled under my breath
I exhaled a little more air than usual through my nose
I smiled but my breathing remained unchanged
How dare you
Bread makes you fat?!
“Straight” just cause you are in a relationship with a member of another sex doesn’t make you straight.
Yeah that’s the point
Not really, it’s about different perception of bisexuals depending on their gender.
If everyone just embraced being queer, everything would be ok. Sex and relationships can barely survive identity politics, old school or new.
> Be me
> Be straightWell, fuck me, I guess
fwiw the ‘queer’ women in my life have been the most judgemental of my sexuality. i guess if you agonize about your own sexuality all the time you project that onto other folks though.
Well, if you insist, bud, but you’ll need to update those labels when we’re done. ⚔⚔ /j
lol
Initial reaction: there’s no way that’s real
After reading the comments: what the fuck
Very strange you haven’t absorbed this concept yet. “Bi women are straight but bi men are gay” is one of the most common tropes in the larger culture’s conception of sexual identity.
I don’t mean to brag, but I have an astonishing lack of culture.
bisexual women are hot
bisexual men are gross.
that’s the underlying assumption.
homosexuality is considered positive/attractive among women, and normalized. a woman doesn’t become less woman for being with a woman.
however, works the opposite for a guy. homosexuality makes a man less manly, or something.
I am shocked too wtf. I feel bad for men who went through that BS.
My current girlfriend is cool with it, but she’s absolutely fantastic about pretty much everything.
One of my exs on the other hand was a bit more aggressive and weird about it. She had a lot of toxic masculinity beliefs going on.
The real issue I have is that a lot of them think its hot, along with some of the other things I may have been into at one point. It’s a bit of a struggle to explain that I’m not asking for more, I’m just being transparent to avoid a potential bombshell being dropped in the future. I don’t have the energy for a polycule, to bother with a third, or anything in the lifestyle anymore.
Ive said it once, Ive said it a thousand times. No one pushes toxic masculinity like women do.
Heteropatriarchal system
When I was fairly younger, I was in a relationship with a woman who told me that if she were to learn that I had sex with a man, especially bottoming but also topping (she didn’t use those terms, she used bad terms), then she would feel disgusted and betrayed and would never feel attracted to me again or see me as a man again.
I said to her that I was disappointed in her, that she had internalised homophobia and that she was a massive hypocrite. Her self proclaimed best male friend presented to the world as flamingly gay, and she was openly bi herself, not as in “I would totally fuck women cause I like the idea of it”, bus as in she had fucked women before and would do it again. Apparently she deserves to be fucked by a real man, which apparently bi men are not.
So…yeah, you can be a loudly proclaimed ally AND a member of the LGBTQ community yourself, and still be a disgusting homophobe right alongside the best of bigots.
IME this is incredibly common.
I had a bi girlfriend who was also super uncomfortable with the idea of me being with another man.
Honestly, while the exact way your ex handled the situation probably wasn’t ideal, this notion is really just an extension of the sexual puritanism that created homophobia in the first place. Imo, we should just accept that people’s sexual desires are what they are. If someone is turned off by bi guys, that’s fine - she doesn’t have to date them. Just like it is perfectly fine to be turned off by people with red hair, or people with annoying laughs, or people who are skinnier or fatter than whatever your personal preference is. Some people aren’t interested in shy people. Some people aren’t interested in dumb people. Some people aren’t interested in poor people. Does it suck when someone you like isn’t interested in you because of something you can’t control? Yes! But at the same time, people’s sexual preferences are also largely outside their control. So why demonize them for them?
Ugh… Thanks for whiteknighting my ex’s being biphobic with your moral relativism.
First of all I don’t know why you felt the need to inject sexual puritanism into the conversation, it’s not really a thing culturally in present day France, especially not in me or my exes mindset or social circles.
Second, don’t give me this your mileage may vary bullshit, some things are objectively bad. Having preferences is fine. Being phobic against a group of people is not. It’s fine to be more easily attracted to tall people, or short, or green eyed, or mixed raced or whatever physical characteristic, as long as it doesn’t turn into a fetish, and I won’t get into that whole other subject. But being repulsed or disliking an entire group of people because of a not morally wrong trait, is objectively wrong and textbook definition of being phobic. Being attracted more easily/often to white people with blue eyes and dimples rather than black people is fine, you like what you like. But being repulsed by all black people, or gingers, or Asians, for the sole reason they are black, or ginger, or Asian, is not. And no, nobody said you owe some random person a shag, just because they’re from a minority. But questioning why someone is repulsed by the entirety of group of people is legitimate. If there’s something universally morally wrong with a group, like fucking Nazis, it’s fine being repulsed. If there’s a rational reason to reject someone, like not wanting to get a in a relationship with a firefighter cause you don’t want a partner who may die in a fire one day, or your sexual orientation is not compatible, then it’s fine rejecting them but not disliking or being repulsed by them. If the only reason you dislike or are repulsed by a group of people is irrational, like they’re a different race or different sexual orientation, then it’s textbook bigotry/phobia, and that’s objectively wrong.
So to go back to the story with my ex; being a bisexual man is not a visual or physical trait. So if you’re a woman who likes having sex with men, and you were to reject or feel disgust for a man you otherwise are attracted to and enjoy having sex with, for the only reason that you can’t deal with the idea/image of him having sex with other men in the past, that’s textbook biphobia and homophobia, and that’s objectively wrong. If you feel so disturbed by this hypothetical, you feel the need to ask me, your partner at the time, a self declared straight man you are in a committed relationship with, if I hid sexual experiences with men from you, to assuage your irrational fears, you’re being biphobic and that’s just wrong. Again, if you’re a woman having sex with men, and don’t trust bisexual men because you think they will cheat with men, guess what, still biphobic, still wrong. Nobody’s demonizing anybody, moral relativism sucks, some things are in fact objectively wrong.
But being repulsed by all black people, or gingers, or Asians, for the sole reason they are black, or ginger, or Asian, is not.
So gay men should suck it up and give women a chance?
If the only reason you dislike or are repulsed by a group of people is irrational
Most of attraction/unattraction is not rational. It is emotional. It is a visceral feeling that doesn’t care about logic.
I, personally, don’t like mint chocolate. When I put it in my mouth, I feel a visceral feeling of disgust, and spit it out. There is no logic behind this - it is just what I like and don’t like.
not a visual or physical trait.
I also provided examples of being turned off by people who are shy, dumb, or poor. Again, these are not logical reasonings, but visceral responses to an individual and their traits.
Nobody’s demonizing anybody
You’re demonizing all women who like straight guys but are turned off by bi guys by calling them biphobic.
some things are in fact objectively wrong.
Objectivity is when something is true with no observer present. Morality requires an observer to decree what is right and wrong. This is why we have many philosophical schools of ethics, but only one school of physics (except at the very edge of research).
yeah, it’s super weird how desperate people are to rationalize this nonsense.
like… being turned off by someone’s race. it’s just your phobia/racism. it’s not a ‘preference’ like people like to claim. esp if your ‘turned off’ feelings are a product or assumption about that person’s sexuality/race being a crude stereotype or entrenched in outdated nonsense. neither of those things is a choice either.
it’s the idea that they are disgusted/turn off by. it’s not a part of sexuality at all, it’s that they associate negative traits with a certain sexuality. that’s messed up. and it’s also not really rejecting the person, it’s rejecting the category.
I have a similar story to share.
When I was in my early 20s I briefly dated a girl who told me she was having feelings for another woman and was being curious, she eventually broke up with me in order to be with her, but we remained good friends after that.
Eventually she came out as a lesbian and when I told her that I was bi she immediately ended our friendship all even yelled some slurs at me.
AFAIK she’s married with a guy and has kids now
Sorry you had to experience this bullshit. I think people like that lack the emotional intelligence to see other people as equals. Instead they only value them as much as whatever personal satisfaction they extract out of them. Intrinsically you’ve lost nothing of value that day, but I know the sudden betrayal of the friendship you thought you had can be shocking and hurtful.
Wow, that’s some intense double standards there.
Maybe calling women lesbians instead of gay allows people to be homophobic while accepting lesbians. After all, the word was invented by men who thought women couldn’t be gay the way men can.
Eventually she came out as a lesbian and when I told her that I was bi she immediately ended our friendship
Can’t really imagine it. Even stubborn homophobes do not end friendship over someone coming out. A lot of them just become curious and eventually accepting. Am not LGBTQ+ though, so my judgement is kinda not reliable, but still.
The woman you’re talking about is exceptionally weird and she can go fuck herself
It’s adorable that you think “stubborn homophobes” wouldn’t end a friendship over someone coming out. I genuinely wish they did just become curious and eventually accepting, instead of immediately rejecting and intimidating and expressing feelings of disgust and revulsion.
In my 20s I was this homophobe until a friend came up to me. Maybe it’s my projection, idk
Yeah no i think you just valued that friendship, or your homophobia wasn’t as deep as many’s.
Your experience is valid, as it happened to you and none of us in this thread were there probably anyway.
In my experience, friends don’t end friendships over homophobia. They just suddenly become very busy and they have less and less time to spend with the person who comes out as bi.
‘Bi erasure’ is such a common phenomenon that we invented the term ‘bi erasure’.
Also I come from a different background to the most of those who are here. In Russia, we have this state propaganda that seals homophobia and since nobody is trusting the government propaganda, a lot of people are simply curious what it is to be gay (or bi, trans). And homophobia is not typical to what I hear from my peers in the west: it often has somewhat patronizing form of “don’t you know that if you say you’re gay, you’ll get a lot of trouble”. It was literally the thing I said to a lovely gay couple when we went to the bar in Saint Petersburg.
Apparently she deserves to be fucked by a real man, which apparently bi men are not.
I would categorize it as a weird fetish and leave her by herself with it
