I went to the hardware store to get a couple of tools for a project and rang up some paint, tape and furniture rollers.
Everything went smoothly. I chatted a bit with the cashier while waiting for the paint to mix and exchanged some job talk, as we’ve both worked in the trades.
Pretty normal so far. I pay for my stuff, and put the roller in my side pocket and give it a pat, out of habit.
The painting tape goes in my other pocket, and I give it a pat, and I grab the paint.
He hands me the receipt, and having no space left, I shove it into my back pocket while turning to walk out.
My hand goes a bit too fast, and I accidentally slap my booty so loud it reverberates throughout the store.
My cheeks are still jiggling as I look back and lock eyes with the cashier. He saw it. He heard it. I just loudly spanked my own ass in front of this dude and he’s staring back with a look of profound confusion.
I skedaddle the fuck out of there, cheeks red. I can never return.
Oh good. I just had one of these, too. I’m in Japan and wanted coffee. After a few blocks not seeing any dedicated coffee places, I decided a convenience store would suffice. They have the coffee gadgettron 9000 with no coffee cups in sight. I figured the machine would supply the cup as well, or if not, at least sense that there wasn’t a cup in place before it started pissing its own pants with coffee. Neither was the case. After failing to find a pause/cancel button, I summoned my inner skeleton and just walked out.
You should have put your head under the faucet of coffee and drank from it. It’s too late now, of course, but you can always go back and do it all over again to recover.