Dear subway. I’m vegan, I can’t eat what you sell. Stop advertising to me please.

Normal people would get it. Like you can’t hope to sell a dildo at church… But if you advertised correctly, you could sell dildos to people who want dildos!

Like by the side of the road next to a porn shop, you could advertise there. But okay what if you used to sell dildos a lot but then one of your customers wanted something different? Stop trying to sell them dildos! They want beads! Its still a dildo looking thing but ultimately, it’s different.

So could you guys please add a tofu or seitan or beans option? Would that hurt? I fucking go to the malls with my wife and kids. Sell them the meats, sell me the fake meats. Is that too much to ask? Like my current only option is a side of fries if I go to McDonald’s. Burger king gets it! They got the Vegan option.

And for fuch sakes, could your vegan option not be an empty salad? I hate that. Give me a biggy option with flavors. I’ll eat healthy at home. I want olive garden infinity salad with croutons… But could you add Vegan pasta and mushrooms? Figure something up! I’m hungry!