Condescension and gatekeeping is never okay. If a woman did this to a man, I would defend the man. So it’s not a double standard.
It’s just that women frequently deal with this when they partake in male-centric hobbies. When this happens, there’s often some element of misogyny at play. So it’s okay for us to point out that specific situation and say it’s frustrating, and doing so doesn’t mean we’re saying this has never happened to men, nor that it’s morally virtuous for women in subcultures to condescend to men.
Also, this culture war thing is so exhausting. Everyone reads between lines and assumes the worst in everyone.
As a man, existing anywhere in public alone with my daughter got me all types of gatekeeping questions and comments. “Giving mommy a break?”, “Must be your day to babysit…”, “Oh is it your weekend?”
I took to telling people that my partner died in childbirth to shut them up. Rude & over the top? Probably, but I shouldn’t have to defend being a parent.
That’s interesting. I think that seems like a good example where the roles would be reversed. I think people really do rely on stereotypes about parenting to assume dads play a secondary or otherwise nonexistent parental role, when that definitely isn’t always the case. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Condescension and gatekeeping is never okay. If a woman did this to a man, I would defend the man. So it’s not a double standard.
It’s just that women frequently deal with this when they partake in male-centric hobbies. When this happens, there’s often some element of misogyny at play. So it’s okay for us to point out that specific situation and say it’s frustrating, and doing so doesn’t mean we’re saying this has never happened to men, nor that it’s morally virtuous for women in subcultures to condescend to men.
Also, this culture war thing is so exhausting. Everyone reads between lines and assumes the worst in everyone.
As a man, existing anywhere in public alone with my daughter got me all types of gatekeeping questions and comments. “Giving mommy a break?”, “Must be your day to babysit…”, “Oh is it your weekend?”
I took to telling people that my partner died in childbirth to shut them up. Rude & over the top? Probably, but I shouldn’t have to defend being a parent.
That’s interesting. I think that seems like a good example where the roles would be reversed. I think people really do rely on stereotypes about parenting to assume dads play a secondary or otherwise nonexistent parental role, when that definitely isn’t always the case. Thank you for sharing your experience.