Sometimes, when I want to express my deep and special connection to my partner, I will perform an act I call nose finger. This act consists of me extending my index finger, shoving it in her nostril, then holding it there a few moments as we savor the connection. I reason, in this depraved, libertine age, you could sleep with someone and have it mean almost nothing. But who, except your most intimate of intimates, would you let shove their finger up your nose?

She appreciates how deeply romantic I am.