• JackbyDev@programming.dev
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    5 days ago

    Whenever I see things like this I think the man making the comment really has no idea how much unwanted attention young, single women get from random men. Especially if you’re pretty and nice, men just take that as an invitation. For every genuinely polite person trying to be charming you have dozens of creeps just being weird.

    • Almacca@aussie.zone
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      3 days ago

      As Chris Rock put it many years ago, “Everywhere they go, there’s men offering them dick.”

    • Fushuan [he/him]@lemm.ee
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      4 days ago

      In his defence, the first use of female was correct, “those who are young single and female” as an adjective. I’d say that the second one is wrong, but they did use women above too so I’d attribute it to having written female just above and typical 4chan brainrot. I’d keep an eye on this one but not crucify yet

        • arin@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          And yes this could include any young women and girls but instead of saying both nouns he says one noun that includes both discriptors which is female instead of girl or young women

              • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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                3 days ago

                So “young women” instead of “young females” would have been more clear and appropriate?

                • arin@lemmy.world
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                  3 days ago

                  Idk what exactly was op’s intended target, but from his language it’s mostly young females did not accept his friend request, which does not signify a lpwer bound age limit.

                  Edit to be more specific, coz this is dragging out. Young women should not include children. But op’s language does not exclude minors.

      • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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        5 days ago

        because people who use females will say men and females - presumably because referring to them as women humanizes them

        • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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          5 days ago

          because people who use females will say men and females

          Do you ignore all the instances they don’t?

          • OP’s writer wrote women & used females to refer to female people (girls or women).
          • The post I linked to shows another use of noun female.
          • Singles communities, personals, classifieds, marketplaces offer abundant instances.
          • The word appears often in book titles & passages, especially feminist literature.

          Seems your claim requires ignoring much regular English usage: it’s false.

          presumably

          That’s presuming an awful lot contrary to regular usage.

          Regardless of motive, the act is the same: indiscriminately picking problems over females. If everyone did that, females would be generally accepted as a dirty, toxic word. Again: what good does that advance?

          It’s thoughtless, self-destructive language policing.

            • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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              4 days ago

              No, the writer in OP may not have needed to use males (men & boys). Explain the necessity for males.

              • boletus@sh.itjust.works
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                4 days ago

                Wouldn’t that imply then that he’s referring to women AND girls? Because he does explicitly say men in the post.

                • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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                  4 days ago

                  Females does mean women or girls, and they wrote young. It is logical to write men when boys are absent or not discussed. Again: where’s the necessity for males?

                  The context doesn’t indicate offensive use of females, so picking over that word looks indiscriminate like the critic is stigmatizing the word itself. Again: what good does that advance?

              • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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                4 days ago

                The fact that the use one form for one gender and a different form for another gender is exactly the issue.

                • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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                  3 days ago

                  What’s the logic there that makes it offensive?

                  The comment mixes women & females so it doesn’t appear fixated on a word offensively.

                  When discussing complete sets, it symmetrically places words of a set together: “men, women” and “married, single”.

                  When not discussing complete sets, only the words needed appear: they write “single young female” without “single young male”, because there was no reason to write the latter—it’s not part of the topic. The shift to females happens in a new sentence.

                  Again: explain the necessity for males. Are you expecting everyone to write males for no reason whenever they write females (or the reverse)? Do we need to do the same with married & single? Are you claiming incomplete sets of words or asymmetry is offensive?

                  That shit would be exhausting. Please explain the issue: otherwise, it looks like you’re simply picking over the noun female.

        • samus12345@lemm.ee
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          5 days ago

          Yes, it is. It’s just offensive to refer to a person as such when it’s not in a scientific or formal context.

          • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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            5 days ago

            A non-scientific, informal context was given. Show us the offense there.

            Singles communities, personals, classifieds, marketplaces offer abundant instances.

            This is straight-up misguided language policing. Again, what good is served by treating female like a toxic, dirty word?

        • lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com
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          5 days ago

          dictionary entry:

          female

          noun

            1. a female person : a woman or a girl
            2. an individual of the sex that is typically capable of bearing young or producing eggs
          1. a pistillate plant
  • fantoozie@midwest.social
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    4 days ago

    I feel like a lot of the online discourse, and a few isolated in-person interactions, wants to frame this sort of stuff as evidenciary of how miserable and oppressive it is to be men in the modern world.

    I don’t believe it; frankly, I think it’s a ploy to instill division by exploiting young men’s lack of emotional intelligence (not necessarily their fault) but even if it were true, I don’t buy the response being that society has it out to get men and we need to accommodate people who refuse to learn how deal with their own emotions.

    • starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      All it takes is hearing stories or knowing someone personally who just gets flooded with creeps and you realize this isn’t an overreaction. One of my not super close friends changed their name on Facebook because of weirdos trying to do “”““light””“” stalking constantly. It seems super weird and antisocial of women until you get the full story.

    • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 days ago

      We can help men, I’m all for it.

      But I need a good faith effort.

      Women first, and then we help the men if they still want or need help and it isn’t just like “wahhh we’ve lost our unfair systemic advantages”.

      I’d be willing to be that because modern feminism ACTUALLY encompasses actual men’s rights and is basically all egalitarian values, that they will (continue to) never take that offer since that isn’t what the VAST majority even want.

      Prove me wrong.

  • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works
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    6 days ago

    The only friends requests I get on Facebook is rando gay men that want to bang so yes, it is because they assume you are a rando that wants to bang.

    • protist@mander.xyz
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      6 days ago

      "Hey, why didn’t you accept my friend request? Is it because you’re young, attractive and single? I’m like totally not hitting on you, but is it because you’re single?*

  • x00z@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    Doesn’t matter what they think of you personally.

    You’re just one request between the hundreds that are trying to hit on them.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    6 days ago

    At one point, I got on the Facebook bus. I regret it for multiple reasons, but the recommendations are what made me jump ship years ago.

    See, they would throw up recommendations of people that were “friends” with my actual friends and family. Which meant that most of them were also friends and family, or at least people I knew in real life.

    At some point though, Facebook decided that sending requests to people was not acceptable, I guess, because they suspended the account. It was temporary, but what the fuck? Like, I had the same last name as 60% of the people I was connecting with. The other ones were often people that used to have the same last name but got married. As in relatives. The rest were school friends and such.

    So, I just said fuck it. Only time I’d mess with it at all was when someone would send me a link to something there. Eventually, I got sick of that too, posted a message saying that anyone who wanted to contact me after a week should let me know so we could exchange emails or whatever, then after a week I deleted the account. I do, technically still have one that was set up for games only, but I can’t remember the password, and don’t give enough of a fuck to reset it.

  • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Women don’t want to be approached ever, but they also never make a move.

    Respectful men will completely stop initiating contact with any women out of fear of being seen as a creep

    This leaves only the arrogant men left who will ignore what they are told and continue to harass women.

    Our society will figure out our dating issues once enough people become desperate enough to lower their standards. As we move twoards a more equal society.

    I don’t think it’s happening soon tho tbh.

      • SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        You can’t plan for the future without enough money. A young man that wants to start a family can’t even afford to rent a 1 bedroom apartment, let alone purchase a family home to raise children.

        Ultimately this issue, like almost all economic and societal issues, is a result of growing wealth inequality.

        • fantoozie@midwest.social
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          4 days ago

          Hard agree. It’s not just that wealth inequality breeds these issues; they’re being synthetically exacerbated by social media algorithms.