It’s not irrelevant to everyone. We have a phrase that allows you to omit them, but that doesn’t mean that everyone wants to do that.
Additionally, having the concept is needed for people to talk about their experiences and figure stuff out.
Their need to describe themselves in conversations that don’t involve you is perfectly sufficient reason to have the words.
“Confuses you” is not a good enough reason to invalidate a core part of people’s identity, particularly when it may have been hard for them to get things figured out.
It’s important to remember that gender is irrelevant, but only if it’s someone else’s. It can be aggravating to be told that something you worked hard to figure out doesn’t matter when it very much matters to you.
Rather, any conception of gender would arise from within, and be part of one’s self-identity, rather than a tool used by society to prescribe a role or identity.
That “prescribe a role or identity” is why it’s useful to get rid of. It leaves people with more freedom to form their identities, not less.
It can be aggravating to be told that something you worked hard to figure out doesn’t matter
I very much like the gender identity that I have; there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m not confusing anything. It kinda seems like you’re reading something different into what they were saying.
They seem to be saying the ultimately misguided but best possible interpretation of “your gender doesn’t matter to me, so why is it something that comes up?”.
Finding your own manner of gender expression and not having it pushed on you from outside doesn’t preclude having language to describe where you end up.
I know they weren’t saying “shut up about your gender, it doesn’t matter”. To someone who is working on finding themselves, or had to work hard to do so, the sentiment can come across that way. For all aspects of identity, people don’t want a “don’t ask, don’t tell” style tolerance in a void. They’d rather have the ability to express their identity, find community and so on.
As such, we need words to communicate these topics.
I very much like the gender identity that I have; there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m happy for you! I am as well! I’m a little confused as to what that has to do with the bit you quoted though.
I’m not invalidating it. You can have names for it. I don’t care. I just don’t want it to be socially required for me to know.
I don’t expect you to know what my favorite programming language is. So please don’t expect me to know what gender you are when it doesn’t matter for social interactions.
Yes, this is what I mean. I am fine with they/them. I don’t need to know anyone’s specific pronouns or gender.
But if no one needs to know anyone’s specific pronouns or gender, then why have it as a concept other than as a niche topic of discussion?
It’s not irrelevant to everyone. We have a phrase that allows you to omit them, but that doesn’t mean that everyone wants to do that.
Additionally, having the concept is needed for people to talk about their experiences and figure stuff out.
Their need to describe themselves in conversations that don’t involve you is perfectly sufficient reason to have the words.
“Confuses you” is not a good enough reason to invalidate a core part of people’s identity, particularly when it may have been hard for them to get things figured out.
It’s important to remember that gender is irrelevant, but only if it’s someone else’s. It can be aggravating to be told that something you worked hard to figure out doesn’t matter when it very much matters to you.
You are kind of confusing a systemic critique with some kind of personal attack against individual people.
From what seems like a decent enough article on Gender Abolitionism:
That “prescribe a role or identity” is why it’s useful to get rid of. It leaves people with more freedom to form their identities, not less.
I very much like the gender identity that I have; there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m not confusing anything. It kinda seems like you’re reading something different into what they were saying.
They seem to be saying the ultimately misguided but best possible interpretation of “your gender doesn’t matter to me, so why is it something that comes up?”.
Finding your own manner of gender expression and not having it pushed on you from outside doesn’t preclude having language to describe where you end up.
I know they weren’t saying “shut up about your gender, it doesn’t matter”. To someone who is working on finding themselves, or had to work hard to do so, the sentiment can come across that way. For all aspects of identity, people don’t want a “don’t ask, don’t tell” style tolerance in a void. They’d rather have the ability to express their identity, find community and so on.
As such, we need words to communicate these topics.
I’m happy for you! I am as well! I’m a little confused as to what that has to do with the bit you quoted though.
I’m not invalidating it. You can have names for it. I don’t care. I just don’t want it to be socially required for me to know.
I don’t expect you to know what my favorite programming language is. So please don’t expect me to know what gender you are when it doesn’t matter for social interactions.