It’s not irrelevant to everyone. We have a phrase that allows you to omit them, but that doesn’t mean that everyone wants to do that.
Additionally, having the concept is needed for people to talk about their experiences and figure stuff out.
Their need to describe themselves in conversations that don’t involve you is perfectly sufficient reason to have the words.
“Confuses you” is not a good enough reason to invalidate a core part of people’s identity, particularly when it may have been hard for them to get things figured out.
It’s important to remember that gender is irrelevant, but only if it’s someone else’s. It can be aggravating to be told that something you worked hard to figure out doesn’t matter when it very much matters to you.
Rather, any conception of gender would arise from within, and be part of one’s self-identity, rather than a tool used by society to prescribe a role or identity.
That “prescribe a role or identity” is why it’s useful to get rid of. It leaves people with more freedom to form their identities, not less.
It can be aggravating to be told that something you worked hard to figure out doesn’t matter
I very much like the gender identity that I have; there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m not confusing anything. It kinda seems like you’re reading something different into what they were saying.
They seem to be saying the ultimately misguided but best possible interpretation of “your gender doesn’t matter to me, so why is it something that comes up?”.
Finding your own manner of gender expression and not having it pushed on you from outside doesn’t preclude having language to describe where you end up.
I know they weren’t saying “shut up about your gender, it doesn’t matter”. To someone who is working on finding themselves, or had to work hard to do so, the sentiment can come across that way. For all aspects of identity, people don’t want a “don’t ask, don’t tell” style tolerance in a void. They’d rather have the ability to express their identity, find community and so on.
As such, we need words to communicate these topics.
I very much like the gender identity that I have; there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m happy for you! I am as well! I’m a little confused as to what that has to do with the bit you quoted though.
I’m not invalidating it. You can have names for it. I don’t care. I just don’t want it to be socially required for me to know.
I don’t expect you to know what my favorite programming language is. So please don’t expect me to know what gender you are when it doesn’t matter for social interactions.
You create the impression that you’re opposed to the concept when you say things along the lines of not seeing why it should be a concept.
I know it isn’t your intention to convey dismissiveness. That doesn’t mean that you’re not, which is why there’s a fair amount of pushback.
No one expects you to know, and you can get away with always using gender neutral without any issues.
You are expected to show people basic respect even if you don’t get it and listen if they correct you. If I get your favorite programming language wrong and you tell me, it would be rude for me to keep referencing your passion for intercal or what have you.
But I am intending to be dismissive, because you are not putting forth any arguments.
Ok, lets go back to the basics. Is gender a social construct?
If you say it isn’t, then you are enforcing the Man/Woman duality of gender that is linked to sex. This is transphobic and not linked to any science.
If you say it is. Then gender has value only to people who care about it. Just like programming languages only have value to people who care about that.
So in a fair and just world, if you say, people need to care about the gender of another person, then equally they should care about the favorite programming language, and so on and so on with everyone’s thing. So my question is, ok, where does this end? What constitutes which things need to be acknowledged during a social interactions and which things don’t.
My argument, is you can strip it down to just a name. That is all you need. This is the ideal we should work towards.
Do we drop pronouns and genders today? No, I have never claimed that. I specifically stated in my first post like 200 years from now, when we are all dead.
It’s not irrelevant to everyone. We have a phrase that allows you to omit them, but that doesn’t mean that everyone wants to do that.
Additionally, having the concept is needed for people to talk about their experiences and figure stuff out.
Their need to describe themselves in conversations that don’t involve you is perfectly sufficient reason to have the words.
“Confuses you” is not a good enough reason to invalidate a core part of people’s identity, particularly when it may have been hard for them to get things figured out.
It’s important to remember that gender is irrelevant, but only if it’s someone else’s. It can be aggravating to be told that something you worked hard to figure out doesn’t matter when it very much matters to you.
You are kind of confusing a systemic critique with some kind of personal attack against individual people.
From what seems like a decent enough article on Gender Abolitionism:
That “prescribe a role or identity” is why it’s useful to get rid of. It leaves people with more freedom to form their identities, not less.
I very much like the gender identity that I have; there’s nothing wrong with that.
I’m not confusing anything. It kinda seems like you’re reading something different into what they were saying.
They seem to be saying the ultimately misguided but best possible interpretation of “your gender doesn’t matter to me, so why is it something that comes up?”.
Finding your own manner of gender expression and not having it pushed on you from outside doesn’t preclude having language to describe where you end up.
I know they weren’t saying “shut up about your gender, it doesn’t matter”. To someone who is working on finding themselves, or had to work hard to do so, the sentiment can come across that way. For all aspects of identity, people don’t want a “don’t ask, don’t tell” style tolerance in a void. They’d rather have the ability to express their identity, find community and so on.
As such, we need words to communicate these topics.
I’m happy for you! I am as well! I’m a little confused as to what that has to do with the bit you quoted though.
I’m not invalidating it. You can have names for it. I don’t care. I just don’t want it to be socially required for me to know.
I don’t expect you to know what my favorite programming language is. So please don’t expect me to know what gender you are when it doesn’t matter for social interactions.
You create the impression that you’re opposed to the concept when you say things along the lines of not seeing why it should be a concept.
I know it isn’t your intention to convey dismissiveness. That doesn’t mean that you’re not, which is why there’s a fair amount of pushback.
No one expects you to know, and you can get away with always using gender neutral without any issues.
You are expected to show people basic respect even if you don’t get it and listen if they correct you. If I get your favorite programming language wrong and you tell me, it would be rude for me to keep referencing your passion for intercal or what have you.
But I am intending to be dismissive, because you are not putting forth any arguments.
Ok, lets go back to the basics. Is gender a social construct?
If you say it isn’t, then you are enforcing the Man/Woman duality of gender that is linked to sex. This is transphobic and not linked to any science.
If you say it is. Then gender has value only to people who care about it. Just like programming languages only have value to people who care about that.
So in a fair and just world, if you say, people need to care about the gender of another person, then equally they should care about the favorite programming language, and so on and so on with everyone’s thing. So my question is, ok, where does this end? What constitutes which things need to be acknowledged during a social interactions and which things don’t.
My argument, is you can strip it down to just a name. That is all you need. This is the ideal we should work towards.
Do we drop pronouns and genders today? No, I have never claimed that. I specifically stated in my first post like 200 years from now, when we are all dead.