Don’t watch this video if you’re emotionally fragile right now. This is not a story with a happy ending. But it leads to an important message for anybody who sees any tiny bit of themselves in Christine:
My sisters, you can’t “fix” him. If he needs fixing, you need to get away quickly. Because he can’t be “fixed”.
For those at work the news article is here.
This is a really sad case. Men like this target their victims carefully and often go for vulnerable people. It can be a grooming process, and they slowly build a cage round her so she can’t get out. Her and her baby deserved better.
I think you make a really good point about men often not changing. Abusive men tend to be totally selfish and don’t accept they’re wrong, making them resistant to change. Dysfunctional men often just don’t do the work they need to do to function well. Many men just ignore the issue and hope it goes away.
Patriarchy really damages men. Showing emotion and getting MH support is seen as weakness. Abusive men have unrealistic expectations so are never truly happy. It destroys so much.
It can be a grooming process…
This is the worst part. A skilled abuser can groom a victim to the point she thinks his violence is HER fault. And other people saying “why don’t you just leave him” are not helping.
Yes and it isn’t asking a question its passing a judgement. It puts the ownership on the victim not the perp
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Yes and abusive men often seem like they’re just about to change. It’s difficult because they make it so hard to leave, and leaving is the most dangerous time in domestic abuse