I see several logical fallacies here, but the funniest one to me is that it all boils down to “anybody who doesn’t like me is a leftist and evil”.

This right here. I love the feeling of a drink or two inside of me. I can’t stand being drunk.

I’ve never actually had a hangover. I have no idea what they feel like other than, from inference, bad.

And I drink.

I have been drunk in the past too, though I really don’t like the sensation so try to avoid it.

Perhaps instead of age there’s something else that’s causing your hangover?

I’m not a Mac user (and don’t know any Mac users) so … what’s a “dongle” in this context?

I hate you so much right now.

People who shamble off the top of an escalator slowly while the machinery behind them shoves more people at them.

What a surprise. Strip out the equipment that can unequivocally know that there’s a solid object in front of you and you drive into solid objects from time to time.

No it is absolutely not theft. It is not theft by law. (There’s a reason why we have both “theft” and “infringement” in the lawbooks: they’re different things!) It is not theft morally. (Theft removes the owner’s ability to use something. Infringement does not. Infringement is a lesser moral crime if it is a crime at all.)

Please do not fall into the trap the IP holders like to lay by equating theft and infringement in your mind. You can have your opinions on whether infringement is bad or not (and the facts are … complicated with both sides being largely full of shit on this), but it is a matter of fact that theft and infringement are entirely different things.

Use the right term for the offence. Don’t let IP holders’ deliberate conflation to confuse the issue get to you.

Self-driving cars.

They’re one hack away from being a mass murder machine that kills thousand to hundreds of thousands (depending on the size of the hack) all around a nation (or possibly even the world).

Oh no! Talentless louts don’t like people who’ve cultivated actual skills that people appreciate!

…

Wait, remind me: Whom does this inconvenience?

For me it would be Das Boot.

I’d probably go with a huxian (狐仙). I mean look at the benefits:

1. Shape-shifting out the door. That’s always fun.
2. Since they’re on a path to becoming an immortal (仙) there’s less of that morally grey area that the huli jing (狐狸精) bring with them. I mean sure, seducing scholars to trick them could be great fun (geeks and nerds are my type), but it’s not really conducive to immortality, is it?
3. As a huxian I’m revered by the people who encounter me (as opposed to the huli jing who is often villainized and chased out).
4. Through “inner alchemy” (内丹) I cultivate in myself ever increasing magic powers like weather manipulation, herbal mastery, and astral projection.
5. In the end I become an immortal worshipped by scholars and others and can even start mentoring scholars who are cultivating themselves.

And all that without the tediousness of tending to Inari’s whims (kitsune) or being in a predatory cycle with no form of cultivation or improvement (gumiho). I’m just a well-regarded philosopher-fox.

I’m pretty sure it is too. For starters the part that’s been layered on top doesn’t have that suspicious 50/50 light/dark thing going on that gives away so many AI generations.

People owning phones and no computers is the norm here. It’s reached the point that half my colleagues do BUSINESS on the phone only; their PCs rarely turned on.

Battleship.

Going by the strictest of interpretations of your criterion, my expectations for Battleship were “ninth circle of Hell”-abouts. The actual film was only the eight circle. Still utterly dire and worthless, but not quite as dire as I’d thought it would be.

The Ringworld one is brilliant.

Don’t care much about either. My phone does the job for me and I have enough clothing to last me to the end of my life. (You know, about six weeks.) (I jest.)

If I were the kind who’d want children, I’d likely wish to raise them using a scissor lift.

This is obviously wrong? Three baby elephants inside a soda can means about 650,000kg/m³ if I haven’t screwed up the thumbnail estimates. IIRC the densest element we know is osmium and that’s “only” about 25,000kg/m³ (give or take some since it’s been ages since I learned anything like this).

Wow! He has enough self-awareness to figure this out! (Not yet enough to actually stop being a human being made entirely of intestinal effluent mind. Baby steps.)