• technomad@slrpnk.netEnglish
    3·
    11 days ago

    I agree with the others that it’s a bit too dense. Shortening it up and making it a bit more succinct would help.

    Also, one small note (just add the word ‘put’):

    …kidnapped imprisoned & -put- in centers of detention…

    • Cort@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      10 days ago

      It’s a stylistic choice, but I think the & should be read as being between kidnapped & imprisoned

      • technomad@slrpnk.netEnglish
        1·
        10 days ago

        Good point. I didn’t really think of it like that (or see it that way visually), but that would make sense.