if only STI’s weren’t a thing, polycules would be great….
but, i’d rather be single than have to deal with pustules on my genitals for life….
….
i bet they’d all be cured by now if idiots didn’t see it as some divine retribution….
Yep, this is exactly it. Practice safe sex, get on PrEP for HIV prevention, talk about testing and status with any potential sexual partners in or out of the polycule, and get tested every 3-6 months.
Yeah. My polycule is small but my friend is in a big multinational one. They have a google doc spreadsheet with STD results and sexual relationship tracking (fluid bonded, barriers, etc).
yes because you can absolutely trust and guarantee safety amongst everyone in your polycule, and because you can totally be safe from STI’s that are transmitted by skin contact….
Trust isn’t the issue. Probability is. Even without deception, there’s a chance someone can have an STD without knowing it. And there’s a chance that std won’t show up on testing due to incubation times, dormancy phases, and false negatives.
Imagine there is a 1% chance of your partner having an STD without knowing it. 1% doesn’t sound too bad an odds. But if you have 50 partners in an extended polycule, then the chance that at least one of them unknowingly has one is 1-(.99)^50, or 39%. Probabilities compound.
You know we can test for those things now, right? As long as everyone remains faithful to their partners its not an issue.
If 300 people all get tested and are clean, they can all get together every night for a massive orgy and there is zero STI risk. As long as none of them sleep with anyone outside of the group that hasn’t been tested.
they don’t test for every single disease… it’s not where i live, it’s medical technology….
show me a screening test that tests for every single SDI or STFU….
repeating yourself is pointless. gimme proof or i do not care about the words you’re typing on here.
show me… any country, any price, show me your comprehensive, 100% accurate screening of every possible STI… or even something close to that… i’ll hold my breath.
Chlamydia, syphilis, HIV, gonorrhoea. Sure you could have herpes and that isn’t tested for there but it has pretty obvious symptoms. Its generally a good enough test for the general population and if you need something more specific you can just list your symptoms.
lol… 4 is not a screen for **all STI’**s… and your dismissal of any other risk is insane.
if herpes was that simple to stop, then nobody would have herpes… and that’s just one of the many that aren’t tested for.
once you have symptoms, it’s usually too late.
you’re changing the subject.
that’s not a screen for all STI’s making you 100% safe.
for most people it’s usually fine. i’m NOT saying it’s bad to be polyamorous, all i was saying is the risks are risky… it’s not 💯, and the bigger your polycule, the higher the risk someone is lying anyways, cheating, and bring sti’s into the group….
very real risks, worth considering….
it’s not making fucking not worth doing… but worth making educated decisions about
which is a lot different than screening for all of them.
you come across as someone that misrepresents and lies about the reality of risks in order to get their partner to agree to something they otherwise wouldn’t….
I am unsure if that is completely true as my past experience in the lifestyle was that everyone was very on top of regular STI (think you meant this not SDI) testing and safe sex practices to protect all involved, whereas normal dating there is a lot less of that plus secret polycules you are not even aware you are in (cheating). Not seen a study on this but this was my observation at least.
Yeah my fluid bonded girlfriend had a condom break with her other boyfriend. So she just told me and we switched to condoms until she could get retested. No big deal.
If we hadn’t been poly it would either have been a I cheated on you conversation or worse she exposed my to possible STD without my consent.
STI… but the problems with people cheating are present in polycules or any other relationship…
people lie and cheat….
i’m not saying they’re completely bad and nobody should ever do it (sorry downvoters, you have my blessings), it’s just the kind of thing that concerns me in these scenarios….
afaik, people tend to do things like get herpes, not tell anyone, and tell people it’s not even worth tripping over… just a lil herpes…
and as long as your polycule isn’t a closed loop, it’s essentially infinitely large….
Yeah no one would fuck with me like that besides my family if they had a legit convo with me. Over text is kind of whatever. Its like that Tyler tweet one sec I’ll find it
Herpes can be spread, even with condoms. Often asymptomatic, also so common/with a test that is also so prone to false positives that they don’t test for it in most panels.
PREP, PEP, and doxyPREP are great things. There should also be no stigma around STI’s - a large chunk of adults get one at some point in their lives. Trich or HPV I think the vast majority of people don’t even know.
The big thing is that everyone should be an adult and open/honest about their risks and tolerances. The more partners you have, the more likely a condom is to break or something is to go wrong. There’s a balance in all things.
i know. i used that exact example previously.
like i said before:
i’m not saying risky things aren’t worth doing. i’m saying this is not without risks.
“getting tested” doesn’t cover most STI’s unless you’re symptomatic… you can’t go to the doctor and say “test me for every STI”… that’s not an option.
HPV, Herpes, and many others are diseases for life. you can take medicine that makes most people asymptomatic for most of their life… but it’s not just fixed.
people on here are acting like you can just trust everyone you date, and everyone they date, and everyone those people date, and everyone those people date, out to infinity and it’s totally safe and fine and the only issue is skill in knowing who to trust…
or you can just make sure everybody “gets tested” but that’s not how getting tested works.
and many diseases are evolving resistance to current treatments… it’s a lot of risk that is worth considering before making an informed decision
I don’t know why you’ve gotten downvoted up and down this thread. People seem oblivious to the reality of risks and the imperfection of trusting people in the aggregate.
it’s a lot of risk that is worth considering before making an informed decision
i would agree that there is some risk and it’s always worth being educated but stigma and FUD contribute to people not wanting to talk about sex
“getting tested” doesn’t cover most STI’s unless you’re symptomatic
patently untrue. a standard STI screen covers HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea
these are by far the most common STIs that’s cause anyone issues without other complications, and tests accurately catch them within weeks. standard public health advice is STI tests every 3mo for sexually active individuals (and in fact if you’re on PrEP to cover you against HIV, you get a 3 month script so it’s pretty much ensured)
HPV, Herpes, and many others are diseases for life
the HPV vaccine is very effective, herpes i’d agree with but causes minimal issues for the enormous majority of people without complications, and i don’t know what you mean by “many other”. if you can list them, id be happy to engage but otherwise the rest of that is more FUD
skill in knowing who to trust…
nope not at all! it’s public health. it has very little to do with trust, other than trying to limit as much as possible to people who know that telling their sexual partners when they get a positive test result is a healthy thing to do, and they won’t be berated for it… the main thing here is that you should feel confident that your sexual partners are going to tell you ASAP when you’ve been exposed, and that more than anything reduces that 3mo timeline and keeps everyone safe… but that only happens when people don’t stigmatise and fear the outcome
… i guess it also helps that here in australia STI tests are free and treatments all cost a couple of $
or you can just make sure everybody “gets tested” but that’s not how getting tested works.
as i’ve stated previously, it is with PrEP and with gay men - i don’t know much about the heterosexual community, but we have very active sexual health campaigns and they work
“screens for everything”.
“screens for three diseases”.
caution information and talking about sex is not FUD… don’t try to make everything that disagrees with you “FUD”.
FUD is a psyop tactic, this is a talk about “completely safe” vs “risky”.
i’m all about taking that risk… personally… but it’s evil to pretend like it’s all figured out and fine.
it is not.
if you… i dunno, drive on the freeway you need to understand common and uncommon risks in order to not crash. I think it’s quite similar to sex.
i’m not saying don’t drive, im saying wear a seatbelt and be aware of shitty drivers… and potholes… and all that shit.
mitigate risks, don’t pretend like they’re irrelevant.
if only STI’s weren’t a thing, polycules would be great….
but, i’d rather be single than have to deal with pustules on my genitals for life….
….
i bet they’d all be cured by now if idiots didn’t see it as some divine retribution….
Yeah, anyone practicing safely can avoid that issue.
Yep, this is exactly it. Practice safe sex, get on PrEP for HIV prevention, talk about testing and status with any potential sexual partners in or out of the polycule, and get tested every 3-6 months.
Yeah. My polycule is small but my friend is in a big multinational one. They have a google doc spreadsheet with STD results and sexual relationship tracking (fluid bonded, barriers, etc).
Poly culture is a shared google doc and calendar for planning time with partners.
Yup! And if that’s too much of an ask, interrelationship dynamics are probably too much of a ask as well!
yes because you can absolutely trust and guarantee safety amongst everyone in your polycule, and because you can totally be safe from STI’s that are transmitted by skin contact….
you can be safer, but not safe
Yeah it’s better to just be alone forever. Isolation smisolation
nothing is completely safe… walking down the street isn’t completely safe….
acknowledging risks isn’t the same as saying don’t take any risks….
chump.
Lol. Obviously. You said polycules can’t be great, not me.
i said no such thing
STIs = a thing
Therefore, according to you,
Polycules =/= great
hyperbole, context, and figures of speech…
Trust isn’t a numbers thing.
Trust isn’t the issue. Probability is. Even without deception, there’s a chance someone can have an STD without knowing it. And there’s a chance that std won’t show up on testing due to incubation times, dormancy phases, and false negatives.
Imagine there is a 1% chance of your partner having an STD without knowing it. 1% doesn’t sound too bad an odds. But if you have 50 partners in an extended polycule, then the chance that at least one of them unknowingly has one is 1-(.99)^50, or 39%. Probabilities compound.
i’ve been lied to by people i trusted many times… but i hope your ability to determine trustworthiness is perfect. mine is not.
You know we can test for those things now, right? As long as everyone remains faithful to their partners its not an issue.
If 300 people all get tested and are clean, they can all get together every night for a massive orgy and there is zero STI risk. As long as none of them sleep with anyone outside of the group that hasn’t been tested.
you can’t just test for these things without symptoms.
most of these diseases have dormant phases and active phases… like a cold sore….
I don’t know how healthcare works where you live, but here you can. Its free, no questions asked. Get the results a couple of weeks later.
Must be nice in that small section of western Europe. For the rest of us things are not so blissful.
It works this way in the rural american southeast. Grew up in Alabama. Literally just find a college town.
they don’t test for every single disease… it’s not where i live, it’s medical technology….
show me a screening test that tests for every single SDI or STFU….
repeating yourself is pointless. gimme proof or i do not care about the words you’re typing on here.
show me… any country, any price, show me your comprehensive, 100% accurate screening of every possible STI… or even something close to that… i’ll hold my breath.
Chlamydia, syphilis, HIV, gonorrhoea. Sure you could have herpes and that isn’t tested for there but it has pretty obvious symptoms. Its generally a good enough test for the general population and if you need something more specific you can just list your symptoms.
lol… 4 is not a screen for **all STI’**s… and your dismissal of any other risk is insane.
if herpes was that simple to stop, then nobody would have herpes… and that’s just one of the many that aren’t tested for.
once you have symptoms, it’s usually too late.
Sure if you are having new partners every week it probably isn’t enough to say you are clean for the next one but for most people it should be fine.
you’re changing the subject.
that’s not a screen for all STI’s making you 100% safe.
for most people it’s usually fine. i’m NOT saying it’s bad to be polyamorous, all i was saying is the risks are risky… it’s not 💯, and the bigger your polycule, the higher the risk someone is lying anyways, cheating, and bring sti’s into the group….
very real risks, worth considering….
it’s not making fucking not worth doing… but worth making educated decisions about
Please do. The gene pool could use some bleach.
they responded with “it tests for 3 diseases “.
which is a lot different than screening for all of them.
you come across as someone that misrepresents and lies about the reality of risks in order to get their partner to agree to something they otherwise wouldn’t….
also, weak ass popsicle stick insult.
Er? You absolutely can do an STI screen without symptoms. Some of the most common STIs don’t even usually have symptoms.
not how that works, virgin
LOL. I know that’s how it works because I’ve done it several times.
lol, and how many STI’s does that screen test for? HIV and Hepatitis only?
Usually the screenings are pretty thorough. I’ve gotten one at least once a year (usually 6 months) for as long as I’ve been an adult.
“pretty thorough” isn’t saying anything.
what, exactly, is included in that screening?
btw, screening is wise and useful and all, it’s just not very thorough.
I am unsure if that is completely true as my past experience in the lifestyle was that everyone was very on top of regular STI (think you meant this not SDI) testing and safe sex practices to protect all involved, whereas normal dating there is a lot less of that plus secret polycules you are not even aware you are in (cheating). Not seen a study on this but this was my observation at least.
Yeah my fluid bonded girlfriend had a condom break with her other boyfriend. So she just told me and we switched to condoms until she could get retested. No big deal.
If we hadn’t been poly it would either have been a I cheated on you conversation or worse she exposed my to possible STD without my consent.
STI… but the problems with people cheating are present in polycules or any other relationship…
people lie and cheat….
i’m not saying they’re completely bad and nobody should ever do it (sorry downvoters, you have my blessings), it’s just the kind of thing that concerns me in these scenarios….
afaik, people tend to do things like get herpes, not tell anyone, and tell people it’s not even worth tripping over… just a lil herpes…
and as long as your polycule isn’t a closed loop, it’s essentially infinitely large….
Personally I would never be in a relationship with someone who would do that but i am pretty picky with very firm boundaries.
people i wouldn’t think would do such things end up surprising me
Yeah no one would fuck with me like that besides my family if they had a legit convo with me. Over text is kind of whatever. Its like that Tyler tweet one sec I’ll find it
STI you are correct. I realized this earlier when I was reading reading. I will fix.
STD isn’t wrong, it’s just an older term…
Watch out for those sexually dransmitted illnesses
Don’t be a grammar Elon
people really hate typos
STIs are all curable, treatable, or preventable
Herpes can be spread, even with condoms. Often asymptomatic, also so common/with a test that is also so prone to false positives that they don’t test for it in most panels.
PREP, PEP, and doxyPREP are great things. There should also be no stigma around STI’s - a large chunk of adults get one at some point in their lives. Trich or HPV I think the vast majority of people don’t even know.
The big thing is that everyone should be an adult and open/honest about their risks and tolerances. The more partners you have, the more likely a condom is to break or something is to go wrong. There’s a balance in all things.
that’s a much more reasonable way of putting it that i did, yes, thank you
As someone in a polycule, that could very soon not be true.
that is grossly oversimplifying things
would you like to elaborate?
because
and your “pustules on my genitals” is just complete FUD
none of that is 100%
and walking down the street isn’t 100% safe
i know. i used that exact example previously.
like i said before:
i’m not saying risky things aren’t worth doing. i’m saying this is not without risks.
“getting tested” doesn’t cover most STI’s unless you’re symptomatic… you can’t go to the doctor and say “test me for every STI”… that’s not an option.
HPV, Herpes, and many others are diseases for life. you can take medicine that makes most people asymptomatic for most of their life… but it’s not just fixed.
people on here are acting like you can just trust everyone you date, and everyone they date, and everyone those people date, and everyone those people date, out to infinity and it’s totally safe and fine and the only issue is skill in knowing who to trust…
or you can just make sure everybody “gets tested” but that’s not how getting tested works.
and many diseases are evolving resistance to current treatments… it’s a lot of risk that is worth considering before making an informed decision
I don’t know why you’ve gotten downvoted up and down this thread. People seem oblivious to the reality of risks and the imperfection of trusting people in the aggregate.
i would agree that there is some risk and it’s always worth being educated but stigma and FUD contribute to people not wanting to talk about sex
patently untrue. a standard STI screen covers HIV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea
these are by far the most common STIs that’s cause anyone issues without other complications, and tests accurately catch them within weeks. standard public health advice is STI tests every 3mo for sexually active individuals (and in fact if you’re on PrEP to cover you against HIV, you get a 3 month script so it’s pretty much ensured)
the HPV vaccine is very effective, herpes i’d agree with but causes minimal issues for the enormous majority of people without complications, and i don’t know what you mean by “many other”. if you can list them, id be happy to engage but otherwise the rest of that is more FUD
nope not at all! it’s public health. it has very little to do with trust, other than trying to limit as much as possible to people who know that telling their sexual partners when they get a positive test result is a healthy thing to do, and they won’t be berated for it… the main thing here is that you should feel confident that your sexual partners are going to tell you ASAP when you’ve been exposed, and that more than anything reduces that 3mo timeline and keeps everyone safe… but that only happens when people don’t stigmatise and fear the outcome
… i guess it also helps that here in australia STI tests are free and treatments all cost a couple of $
as i’ve stated previously, it is with PrEP and with gay men - i don’t know much about the heterosexual community, but we have very active sexual health campaigns and they work
oh the gymnastics….
“screens for everything”.
“screens for three diseases”.
caution information and talking about sex is not FUD… don’t try to make everything that disagrees with you “FUD”.
FUD is a psyop tactic, this is a talk about “completely safe” vs “risky”.
i’m all about taking that risk… personally… but it’s evil to pretend like it’s all figured out and fine.
it is not.
if you… i dunno, drive on the freeway you need to understand common and uncommon risks in order to not crash. I think it’s quite similar to sex.
i’m not saying don’t drive, im saying wear a seatbelt and be aware of shitty drivers… and potholes… and all that shit.
mitigate risks, don’t pretend like they’re irrelevant.