After experimentation with my adhd meds, I’ve concluded the following:
I have been taking double the amount required. For 5 years. Insane anxiety which has led to significant social isolation. I’ve lost friends, and countless other opportunities that could have altered my life in a positive way.
5.fucking.years.
Im very happy that I no longer have the anxiety. It’s been a week since I’ve reduced the dose and there haven’t been any negatives.
Same focus, same drive and motivation.
Except I have 5 years (well, 3 years) of conditioning to break out of. I still have this odd “phantom anxiety”.
I was handed a bottle of pills and told to figure it out. So of course, once the positive impact of the medication kicked in, I assumed that the negatives were just a side effect id have to live with.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s also possible that the dose you originally needed has changed over time as you have built structures and rituals to manage better (disclaimer: not a doctor; anti-disclaimer: the doctors know bugger all about brain chemistry anyway). Its amazing that you can lower the dose and get the same benefit without those side effects!
It sucks that you were left to figure it out on your own, but you are doing amazing. And the next five years will be even better.
and yeah - phantom anxiety is a thing. The difference is being able to look at it and go “ha, that’s anxiety, what’s that doing there?”
That’s really kind of you to say :)
I’m glad the dose is lower now. Apart from the anxiety, my body is far less tense, my mind is somewhat clearer and I feel more relaxed which was the whole point of the medication to begin with!
The phantom anxiety thing is the weirdest feeling: my body is anticipating anxiety but nothing happens. It’s like it’s bracing for it in expectation but then it’s just calm. A few weeks of re-training should hopefully bring me back to some kind of normality. I’ve never had anxiety issues as an adult before, so it was definitely strange. I just assumed it was the price to pay for having the kind of focus I haven’t had since I was around 12 years old.
Here’s hoping the next 5 will be great, and thanks again :)
Same here man. Be good to go gigging again without having an insane level of anxiety.
As an aside: The H90 is fucking amazing lol
Had the Crystals algo going into the blackhole preset called “Cigar Roos” which is what Sigur Ros used when they had the eventide space in their line up. Bliss!!! Even single note sounded absolutely incredible.
I’m horrified by this. Prescribed medication without a starting dose, follow up appointments? Advice on what upper limit is?Told to ‘figure it out’? What the hell?! Is this normal for adhd or was it just a shit doctor? It sounds like medical incompetence to me, and you’re just lucky things didn’t end up worse. I’m glad you have found balance now, but I would be furious.
Absolutely. The full ramifications haven’t really hit home, I’m just happy the endless anxiety I couldn’t trace back is gone. I’m almost 100% sure this made my migraines worse as my body was tense the whole time I was awake.
Wow that’s so shit :( I’m sorry you had to put up with those side effects for so long.
It sucks how many psychiatrists don’t do their due diligence, and give their patients a schedule 8 med and say go on your merry way. People with ADHD have issues with executive functioning!
After experimentation with my adhd meds, I’ve concluded the following:
I have been taking double the amount required. For 5 years. Insane anxiety which has led to significant social isolation. I’ve lost friends, and countless other opportunities that could have altered my life in a positive way.
5.fucking.years.
Im very happy that I no longer have the anxiety. It’s been a week since I’ve reduced the dose and there haven’t been any negatives.
Same focus, same drive and motivation.
Except I have 5 years (well, 3 years) of conditioning to break out of. I still have this odd “phantom anxiety”.
I was handed a bottle of pills and told to figure it out. So of course, once the positive impact of the medication kicked in, I assumed that the negatives were just a side effect id have to live with.
Lame.
Fucking. Lame.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s also possible that the dose you originally needed has changed over time as you have built structures and rituals to manage better (disclaimer: not a doctor; anti-disclaimer: the doctors know bugger all about brain chemistry anyway). Its amazing that you can lower the dose and get the same benefit without those side effects!
It sucks that you were left to figure it out on your own, but you are doing amazing. And the next five years will be even better.
and yeah - phantom anxiety is a thing. The difference is being able to look at it and go “ha, that’s anxiety, what’s that doing there?”
That’s really kind of you to say :) I’m glad the dose is lower now. Apart from the anxiety, my body is far less tense, my mind is somewhat clearer and I feel more relaxed which was the whole point of the medication to begin with!
The phantom anxiety thing is the weirdest feeling: my body is anticipating anxiety but nothing happens. It’s like it’s bracing for it in expectation but then it’s just calm. A few weeks of re-training should hopefully bring me back to some kind of normality. I’ve never had anxiety issues as an adult before, so it was definitely strange. I just assumed it was the price to pay for having the kind of focus I haven’t had since I was around 12 years old.
Here’s hoping the next 5 will be great, and thanks again :)
Yeah that’s fucked. Glad you sorted it out.
Same here man. Be good to go gigging again without having an insane level of anxiety.
As an aside: The H90 is fucking amazing lol
Had the Crystals algo going into the blackhole preset called “Cigar Roos” which is what Sigur Ros used when they had the eventide space in their line up. Bliss!!! Even single note sounded absolutely incredible.
I’m horrified by this. Prescribed medication without a starting dose, follow up appointments? Advice on what upper limit is?Told to ‘figure it out’? What the hell?! Is this normal for adhd or was it just a shit doctor? It sounds like medical incompetence to me, and you’re just lucky things didn’t end up worse. I’m glad you have found balance now, but I would be furious.
Absolutely. The full ramifications haven’t really hit home, I’m just happy the endless anxiety I couldn’t trace back is gone. I’m almost 100% sure this made my migraines worse as my body was tense the whole time I was awake.
I’m glad you got it sorted out, and it sucks you weren’t given any support. You’re not supposed to be the medication expert
Cheers man :) Exactly right. At least it’s over for the moment.
Wow that’s so shit :( I’m sorry you had to put up with those side effects for so long.
It sucks how many psychiatrists don’t do their due diligence, and give their patients a schedule 8 med and say go on your merry way. People with ADHD have issues with executive functioning!
I appreciate it :) Yeah I’m looking for a new psych
Aye. The medical system will let you flounder until all your conditions are exacerbated and it’s basically ruined your life.