Nope, I don’t think he’s a terrible person, but he’s not a good dad. It’s pretty clear now that he never really had any passion for anything (or he did and never chased it, I guess we have something in common) and just kinda went with the plan for boomers. So he got a boring job that paid enough to have a house and two cars and 3 kids. He went to work and spent time with the kids occasionally. But he never taught me anything how to shave? Mom got me a razor and told me to figure it out. How to talk to girls, or date or anything? Nope, he vaguely alluded to making sure I only jerked off in my bedroom when I was like 16. And then never talked about sex or dating or relationships at all. Had a hard day? Well he’ll just shrug and go “yep it sucks out there sometimes”.

And that’s probably the best part about him. His treatment of my mother is infuriating, not because he’s actively abusive, but because he doesn’t do anything and acts like because he worked for 25 years (he retired early because he got too tired of working at 57 and basically nuked their retirement plan causing my mom to have to work until her RA diagnosis which forced her to retire in 50s) he has earned being a lazy shit head who only needs to wash the dishes and take out the garbage. He can’t cook, hates cleaning, and basically sits in front of a computer all day playing free to play mobile games on it while watching ESPN all day until the games themselves come on. He has no reason to leave the house and begrudgingly walks the dog. He’s basically done this for over fifteen years and is now in his 70s. My mom has begged him to get therapy or couples counselling and he has stoically refused to even discuss it.