And once that happens, you’ll soon realize just how sexist people are when they make fun of you for being “whipped” and call her “the ol’ ball and chain”.
“Jim, you confide in me regularly you are painfully lonely. The last woman you took out on a date ghosted you after you started ordering her around like a misogynistic asshole because you watch garbage on tiktok about the ‘alpha male’ fallacy and treat it like a guide to life. Under your bravado is a scared man-child that worries they’ll be alone forever. The worst part is that that fear is real unless you do some honest introspection really fucking fast and realize you are your own worse enemy in this. You’ve got about 3 years left to get your shit together before most of the loving, intelligent, and self-confident women get snatched up in marriages of their own. Its not the world’s fault you are in this situation, its yours buddy. You’ve made choices in the past that put you here and 30 seconds ago you made another one with your shitty joke trying to belittle my loving relationship with my wife because you’re envious I have a person that cares about me and you don’t. Seriously man, its a bad look. You have the capacity to be better than that. You gonna finish those nachos or can I take them with me? Oh, I’ll see you Saturday for the game.”
Oh you got to use that shit to your advantage. My ex partner and I would sometimes do this dance where she really likes something but doesn’t like the price. She would call me with a trigger phrase meaning to say no.
So on speaker, I’d be like, “Huh. Are you sure? It doesn’t sound like a great deal. Maybe we should sit on it. I think it’d make more sense if it was like $x amount less.”
The sales guy would often take this and come back with an amount that’s more reasonable. If my partner said the trigger phrase again, I’d stick to the no. Otherwise I’d agree.
It’s okay. When people say that to me it just makes me realize they are either lonely and jealous or regretting their own decision to marry because either they chose poorly or they are the problem.
Either way I ignore it and go home to my best friend :)
Yeah, but it’s fucking hilarious to respond to that kind of energy with pure joy about your marriage, and watch the dawning realisation that it’s not actually a universal experience.
Honestly though, once you kick off that “I love my wife” energy you’ll be surprised how enthusiastically people agree. Most people only parrot the ball and chain stuff because they think they have to. When one person breaks ranks basically everyone follows.
And once that happens, you’ll soon realize just how sexist people are when they make fun of you for being “whipped” and call her “the ol’ ball and chain”.
REJECT Al Bundy energy
EMBRACE Gomez Addams energy
Live in the present, be yourself at all costs, love and respect your SO visibly, vocally, and at every opportunity
proof straight relationships can be cool.
Compared to the love between Morticia and Gomez, it’s no wonder everything else in the world seems so miserable to them.
Gomez Addams was one of my early male role models and I’m so grateful.
“I gotta go, my wife is home”
“Ooooh, you’re whipped!”
“No, I just prefer her company to yours.”
the other answer is “no, I wish, but she has arthritis.”
“If I’m lucky!”
Not really into that thing myself, but it gets a great reaction.
shit I missed that someone already said it.
“Jim, you confide in me regularly you are painfully lonely. The last woman you took out on a date ghosted you after you started ordering her around like a misogynistic asshole because you watch garbage on tiktok about the ‘alpha male’ fallacy and treat it like a guide to life. Under your bravado is a scared man-child that worries they’ll be alone forever. The worst part is that that fear is real unless you do some honest introspection really fucking fast and realize you are your own worse enemy in this. You’ve got about 3 years left to get your shit together before most of the loving, intelligent, and self-confident women get snatched up in marriages of their own. Its not the world’s fault you are in this situation, its yours buddy. You’ve made choices in the past that put you here and 30 seconds ago you made another one with your shitty joke trying to belittle my loving relationship with my wife because you’re envious I have a person that cares about me and you don’t. Seriously man, its a bad look. You have the capacity to be better than that. You gonna finish those nachos or can I take them with me? Oh, I’ll see you Saturday for the game.”
That was… specific?
Hahaha, I love it
Oh you got to use that shit to your advantage. My ex partner and I would sometimes do this dance where she really likes something but doesn’t like the price. She would call me with a trigger phrase meaning to say no.
So on speaker, I’d be like, “Huh. Are you sure? It doesn’t sound like a great deal. Maybe we should sit on it. I think it’d make more sense if it was like $x amount less.”
The sales guy would often take this and come back with an amount that’s more reasonable. If my partner said the trigger phrase again, I’d stick to the no. Otherwise I’d agree.
Fun times.
It’s okay. When people say that to me it just makes me realize they are either lonely and jealous or regretting their own decision to marry because either they chose poorly or they are the problem.
Either way I ignore it and go home to my best friend :)
Dude, seriously. Hanging out with my wife is the best thing ever.
<3
Get into an interracial relationship for twice the fun!
Yeah, but it’s fucking hilarious to respond to that kind of energy with pure joy about your marriage, and watch the dawning realisation that it’s not actually a universal experience.
Honestly though, once you kick off that “I love my wife” energy you’ll be surprised how enthusiastically people agree. Most people only parrot the ball and chain stuff because they think they have to. When one person breaks ranks basically everyone follows.
I’m just so honest that people are too uncomfortable to make a dumb comment. Like
The oral sex part is optional. Wouldn’t say that to family. It works regardless.
Preach.