I always feel like if you’re spending time with someone new, it’s OK to have stints of silence. It’s one thing to get along with someone by having easy conversation. At the same time it’s nice to know that you don’t always have to fill up every moment with dialog. To just exist in someone else’s presence is sometimes enough.
That’s something I struggle to internalize, even when I’m with my best friends. I dunno how to be comfortable with silence, with a lull in the hangout sesh, it just eats me up and makes me feel like a bad friend.
Yep. Right there with you. With my upbringing if someone was silent around you, they were seething at you for something you did. And you know what it was! (You probably don’t, actually. Good luck guessing.)
This makes things unnecessarily interesting when I have long car rides with my naturally-introverted wife and I start feeling like I’ve done something terribly wrong when she doesn’t have much to say.
I was going to make my own comment but this hits the nail on the head. Civil discussion. They or you may be wrong but make your point and let them make theirs and may the strongest prevail.
Polite conversation
Knowing when silence is damaging
Knowing when to shut up
Knowing when to leave a conversation, a room, a party, a relationship, etc.
I always feel like if you’re spending time with someone new, it’s OK to have stints of silence. It’s one thing to get along with someone by having easy conversation. At the same time it’s nice to know that you don’t always have to fill up every moment with dialog. To just exist in someone else’s presence is sometimes enough.
That’s something I struggle to internalize, even when I’m with my best friends. I dunno how to be comfortable with silence, with a lull in the hangout sesh, it just eats me up and makes me feel like a bad friend.
Yep. Right there with you. With my upbringing if someone was silent around you, they were seething at you for something you did. And you know what it was! (You probably don’t, actually. Good luck guessing.)
This makes things unnecessarily interesting when I have long car rides with my naturally-introverted wife and I start feeling like I’ve done something terribly wrong when she doesn’t have much to say.
If I notice it, I just say to myself, “silence is good, quiet is peaceful. If they’re comfortable I am comfortable.”
Good tip, thanks.
I was going to make my own comment but this hits the nail on the head. Civil discussion. They or you may be wrong but make your point and let them make theirs and may the strongest prevail.
Assert your point but don’t be mean.