checkmate Christians badeline-heh

  • TheDrink [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    3 days ago

    I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney

    That sounds like a comedy premise. Santa gets shot by a paranoid homeowner and someone has to save Christmas.

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 days ago

      I think that’s the plot to “The Santa Claus” with Tim Allen. Basically a guy catches Santa on his roof, startles Santa, and Santa slips, falls, and dies. Apparently being Santa is some kind of memetic curse, because Tim Allen is now turning into Santa against his will, experiencing all kinds of body horror as he grows a big beard, his hair turns white, and he gains stupid amounts of weight.

    • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      3 days ago

      Bobby McChud shoots Santa in an instance of castle doctrine. Because of the intricacies of Christmas magic McChud becomes the new Santa. He gives AR-15’s to white children and coal to woke children. Hillary ensues.