Things in poor neighborhoods are done differently than in middle- and upper- class neighborhoods. People that grow up in poor neighborhoods develop behaviors, customs, and beliefs that are different from other neighborhoods because they are part of surviving in the struggle. When they move on up, some of those behaviors, customs, and beliefs are no longer necessary and can even be harmful (e.g. strong reactions to perceived attacks). Others may actually provide an advantage (e.g. living through power outages). Regardless, these changes can cause a sense of estrangement from their childhood and original culture, leading to some resistance. Given all that:

What did you change and what did you keep?

  • ouRKaoS
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    5 hours ago

    I stopped pulling over to pull useful items out of other people’s trash.

    I still look, but I haven’t yanked a chair or TV in years.

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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      35 minutes ago

      When I was a kid, my city had an annual trash week where people would put their large items on the curb for pickup. We used to drive around looking for TVs and anything else that could be valuable, and then pawn them or sell them to other people.

    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      hard for me, neighbor likes to throw away computer cases when he upgrades, got a nice mechanical steel series keyboard too. my son and I cleaned it up, filled it with parts and now he has a decent computer. saved me $300 retail and he learned how to test things to make sure they worked, like io cables and whatnot. win win.

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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        33 minutes ago

        Damn, I can’t imagine throwing that stuff away instead of donating it. If it’s just a common item I’ll drop it off at the thrift store, and if it’s something really good I’ll put it on Craigslist for free. If it’s really good then I’ll sell it.

        • thermal_shock@lemmy.world
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          17 minutes ago

          i can only imagine he thought it was broken, he left

          this case - Corsair 4000D - https://amzn.to/40uje6R

          this keyboard - Steelseries Apex Pro - https://amzn.to/48zfXVP

          and a week later, this case - Thermaltake Core V2 - https://amzn.to/48BL96M

          the thermaltake case i had just bought one a month prior to setup as a backup Truenas server, they Corsair case and keyboard went to my kid’s rig after we cleaned it. haven’t found any major issues, every once in awhile the lights ont he keyboard go wonky, so we just unplug it, wait 10 seconds, and plug it back in. all keys work perfectly find.

      • ouRKaoS
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        2 hours ago

        Aww, damn… I’m busted!

        I forgot I have fished a few computers & cable boxes out of the trash… Got a 1TB HD out of a trashed cable box, planning on getting home assistant & jellyfin running soon, so a little extra storage always helps!

    • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placeOP
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      4 hours ago

      yoooo, my first adult bed, furniture set, and laptop were from the trash. rich kids in college towns throw out the best stuff. it was a Compaq, and the only problem was overheating because it needed that heat sink lube.

  • FeelThePower@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    12 hours ago

    I’m really good at surviving with a very small amount of money. For a while I also would steal food from wherever I could get it, I thankfully don’t have to do that anymore but the skills are there.

  • Num10ck@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    how to avoid appearing like you just escaped the lower classes:

    • stop keeping everything, just in case you might need it
    • stop buying random crap without seeing how it can justify your space/money/time.
    • stop eating garbage. eat consciously, expect you will need to feel great instead of stopping hunger.
    • stop keeping in touch with toxic people just because you might need them someday.
    • stop seeking attention with the way you dress and talk, etc. don’t appear needy. aim for tasteful.
    • preventative maintenance. fix things that are wonky before they fail at a bad time.
    • appear competent and secure, give eye contact, listen.
    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      12 hours ago
      • stop keeping in touch with toxic people just because you might need them someday.

      This one is big.

      Had a talk with a guy recently. He’s always putting other people ahead of him to give his life meaning. And yet it also stresses him out, doesn’t get anything in return, and is only doing it because of a hypothetical “they’d do the same”. But they don’t?

    • davidgro@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      Why’d you have to call me out like that with those first three?

      (Seriously, not keeping stuff is so difficult. It’s a strain on my marriage and I wish I could just flip a switch and not feel that instinct)

  • ABCDE@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    “the sticks” doesn’t mean poor, it just means in the countryside (at least in the UK). On the estate(s) would be correct for us.

    I didn’t grow up particularly poor, but became poor upon moving out of the family home. This led to making do with very limited ingredients, finding bargains, and that has stuck with me ever since. I’ve saved a lot of money down the years, can live very frugally for a period of time when I really need to, and as such became a homeowner because I knew how to knuckle down and avoid unnecessary expenditure, perhaps to the detriment of my health at times.

    • davidgro@lemmy.world
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      20 hours ago

      In the US, “estates” sounds vaguely wealthy. For example, a fancy garage sale is an Estate Sale (which kinda implies a rich person died and this is their estate being liquidated.)

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Americans tend to equate “county” with “poor” because they don’t have first-hand experience with country people. They might also be confused because ostentatious displays of wealth are considered tacky here in the South.

      • IamtheMorgz@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        I’m from the rural South and there are plenty of ostentatious displays of wealth. Particularly surrounding how your home looks - decorating for every single holiday for no reason comes to mind.

        Plenty of rural Americans are super poor. It generally takes more money to live in the city so that should make some sense. I grew up rural poor - my family were partially subsistence farmers, cutting our grocery bill.

        To answer the question from OP - I’m not sure I count as properly middle class but I’m definitely more stable than I was growing up, so I’ll say my biggest changes are being more conscious of what I look and smell like. When you’re poor, everything smells like whatever’s on sale. I have kept my tendency to overbuy during sales for anything is shelf stable for long periods of time even if I already have plenty.

        • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placeOP
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          1 day ago

          When you’re poor, everything smells like whatever’s on sale.

          That’s right!! For me, it was like whatever I had that was nice. If someone got me a nice shirt, I would protect that shirt and only wear it to special events that I knew would not place the shirt in any danger (physical activity, stains from cooking or painting, etc.). I kind of still do that and have a few shirts that are ~20 years old, a backpack that is 23 years old, and a multi-tool that’s about 21 yrs old. Never though that was associated with growing up poor, but it makes sense now.

      • ysjet@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        As someone with first hand experience growing up in the country, you could not be more wrong.

      • stoly@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        lol I know you’re full of it specifically because I come from a backwards place and escaped it

  • arality@programming.dev
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    1 day ago

    I used to keep EVERYTHING under lock and key, or under my direct supervision. I have been robbed multiple times. Turns out, not everyone is a shitty person. TBH I kinda still do it. Not to the extremes I used to though.

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.world
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      31 minutes ago

      There are a lot of shitty people in all socio-economic classes. They’re just not desperate once you get out of poverty, so they’re not going to steal everything that isn’t nailed down.

  • El_guapazo@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Casual racism that only intensified the inequity. Realize it’s the billionaire class that’s benefiting from the in fighting.

  • Sundial@lemm.ee
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    1 day ago

    A big thing is thinking about finances constantly and asking those kinds of questions in social settings. It’s more of a common thing to do when you’re in a poorer environment.

      • Sundial@lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        Poor people more often have the kind of reaction of “Oh, that must have cost a lot.” whereas richer people will simply say “Yeah that’s good for you, it’s important to get the good stuff”.

        • ABCDE@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Or, it’s knowing how fancy something is and then having to one up people. Money is involved but perhaps not explicitly mentioned, depends on the purpose though.