I don’t know if any CW are required for this but if so suggest them and I will add. I’m not mentioning any particular hateful things; just the presence of them.


An old comrade of mine has fallen into the grips of anti trans bigotry.

It has been happening for 10+ years and I have raised the issue multiple times when we’ve been together or in touch. They downplayed their investment in the ideas.

Recently I have learned that it has crept into their mass organizing. This person is an excellent, committed, powerful organizer working for years at a local level.

I think they are now getting in to organizing explicitly on anti-trans grounds. They have capacity to be highly effective at this. But really it is the integration of anti-trans stuff into legitimate mass organizing work that is more dangerous. My understanding is that they are seeking to orient these orgs against the interests of trans people and to exclude trans people and even trans-allied people from organizing.

This person made many key political contributions to who I am. Much of the good I have done as an organizer is due to their influence on me. Without them I would have ended up the most insufferable kind of lib. On a personal level, it breaks my heart to see this has happened to a dear friend. I feel compelled to attempt to return the wisdom and patience they afforded me when I needed it, and offer them a better perspective, help them be a better organizer.

I plan to attempt intervention. We live far away from each other but do keep occasional contact. Less so over recent years just due to being on different social media platforms. I could get some correspondence and maybe a phone call to discuss this on the basis of our long standing relationship. I would offer to maintain the dialogue on going if they were willing.

  • general advice?
  • have you tried this and if so how did it go?
  • is there hope?
  • some kind of FAQ covering anti-trans misinformation; more in-depth and comprehensive would be better (for me to read)
  • writing/ideas aimed specifically at communists/socialists
  • theory to understand trans* from marxist/materialist perspective
    • I know this sounds stupid but they already have theory to hate trans*
  • This person is coming at it from a TERF (as in actual old school radical feminsm) perspective, not a right-wing/fash perspective
  • The idea of “bourgeois decadence” is important here. It’s not something I ever found to be very compelling so I don’t have much analysis to counter it.

Of course I have my own ideas and knowledge but I’m sure all of the above has been perfected so I want to make sure I have the best at top of mind.

This person is pretty stubborn, as required to be a lifelong revolutionary. So I know I’m not going to turn the ship around in one conversation. I am considering strategy of reformism or harm reduction. For example if I could convince them to avoid bringing these ideas into their organizing, even while still holding them privately, it would be a benefit.

  • milk_thief [it/its]@hexbear.net
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    2 months ago

    I tried to save one such person, all they did was try to use me as a token. It sounds like they are properly cooked. Even putting out my disagreements in text didnt help - i tried other approaches. Usually they dig their heels in very fast and are too embarassed about losing face bc leftist pecking order dictates you have to be correct all the time or face social oblivion (not really, but people can think this is the case)

    • glans [it/its]@hexbear.netOP
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      2 months ago

      I am definitely concerned about being used as a token or otherwise inadvertently feeding the beast. Like if I try to provide anything with nuance, my words can get picked apart and weaponized.

      I think this person is already alienated somewhat from their local left over this issue and its concequences… But to whatever extent this is the case it would be seen as throwing off dead weight---- pretenders who don’t have what it takes to really engage in struggle with working class people. Although I’m sure some will just ignore it for the same of an ongoing relationship with a successful organizer if not ideological agreement.

      But now that’s happened I guess there are other people around, cheering them on. Those people’s opinions will be super important and nothing I say or do can replace the value. Changing course now would lead to real isolation. sigh

      • milk_thief [it/its]@hexbear.net
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        2 months ago

        like this will suck, but if you can’t change them by talking to them one on one, you have to make sure they stay limited in their reach, is my take. They have an environment which rewards and affirms theiir views. My mistake was hanging around “ML-ish” people who were only as progressive as it was politically expedient to them, after finding out they can get ahead by embracing TERFism, they threw that all away