Inspired by this dorky exchange I had, thank u BountifulEggnog.

I want to know what your gender means to you, how you define it, what it means for you to “be” that gender and how you define it. Don’t fuss about ‘correct definitions’ or anything, this is about your experience, I want to know what it means to you. How you relate to that gender, perceive it.

Genders have a social construction aspect and is very subjective, so I think people’s subjective, personal views of their own are both important and interesting. Inquiring mind wants to know! interviewer

I'll share some of mine I guess.

I was a trans woman until the contradictions sharpened to a razor’s edge after reading Gender Outlaw and The Gender Accelerationist Manifesto. My brain got cracked in half. I have always hated the effects testosterone would have on my body, so estrogen was a given, but while I do identify with certain things that are commonly associated with being a woman… if nothing is inherently gendered, what even is a gender? niko-concern I had a whole little episode about it in the megathread once.

As I went on from there, I realised that while I like certain things about “being a woman”, equally I found I’d been sort of stifled by trying to fit into the social role. The women I have always related to most are the cis autistic women who basically yeet presentation in favour of dressing for sensory comfort. Almost kinda non binary, in a way… The more I interrogated binary gender in relation to myself, the more I dug up stuff like this. Also I didn’t really like that “woman” is associated with cis people a lot, I really like the trans part of my identity, feel a lot of love for it. I’ve felt freer and mentally clearer and truer to myself as a Non Binary Transfem, it’s cool and funny. What does it mean to me? It represents my goofy sometimes-androgynous presentation, my lack of cissie gender, how being neurodiverse influences my view, being a funny noody goblin. Share yours =)

  • bumpusoot [any]@hexbear.netEnglish
    25·
    3 months ago

    I personally present as cis because it’s easy, but the reality is that I really don’t care about gender as a concept. To the point that I don’t even really like being called “agender”. In spite of lengthy heartfelt conversations with two trans partners in my time, I still really struggle to understand the mindset of feeling gender is important to one’s identity; Not understanding it actually feels quite isolating, sometimes. I frequently feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t “get it”.

    None of which is to say I do not love and support my trans comrades to the ends of the fucking Earth cat-trans. Transphobes can line up against the wall.

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]
      11·
      3 months ago

      Not understanding it actually feels quite isolating, sometimes. I frequently feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t “get it”.

      Interesting. I think I used to assume not caring was the norm* and trans people and a few cis people were outliers in caring about it and anyone else performing masculinity or femininity were doing it ironically as a joke.

      *I also questioned if sexuality was just made up and people pretended to have sexual attraction because it was expected of them.