I would be responsible for creating more and more paper forms which have to be filled by hand before each task.
PS: Can you guess what I’m doing now?
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Whatever the guys in MS Cloudstrike did today.
I write code for those who pay me money.I delete code of people who don’t pay me.
Based.
I’m a teacher, so I guess now I spread misinformation on social media for a living. 🤡
You guys are getting paid?
Yes we are (see, I’m doing my part in spreading the misinformation)
I was gonna say I suck knowledge and graduation credits out of old people
I think the exact opposite would turn me into a literal pirate; stealing money in a way that statistically increases the risks of maritime commercial ventures.
Are you the port authority or what?
Maritime adjuster. My body is a machine that turns the inherent risk of fishing into box wine.
Discount Harbor Jesus!
This is a hilarious comment.
Cheers, I’ll drink to that
I make sure people don’t talk to each other about what they’re working on and hide important information they need to complete tasks. Sometimes I’ll advise them to work on the wrong thing for a long time.
In my spare moments I delete the data in reports and unpivot tables.
That sounds like what my managers are doing right now, minus the unpivot tables. I have to guess what I am supposed to do.
Scrum master?
Not an agile environment, but about equivalent
I write good code now.
I fix software bugs
What a coincidence! I now create them…
I transition automated processes into manual labor
Probably how governments want to solve joblessness, just like the Germans in the second world war forced their population to build highways by hand.
Like the Works Progress Administration.
We use modicon stuff for that.
I am now loving my job.
I write software that scours the internet for porn and other NSL content, then sends it to school kids.
Jesus fucking Christ =)))
I have a job! Woohoo!
Software engineer here. I’d become the worst thing I can imagine… a user.
Same but I was gonna say PM
Damn I feel like the polar opposite of my job is also my job. But if I try to make it bad, I’d say I would hurt and demotivate children and try to keep them stupid
I lock people out of their homes and break door hardware.
Aww geez, I’m a frat boy now
Locksmith?
Yep, and fratboy related calls are a surprising percentage of my income. Poor dears, a perfect combination of preternatural strength and mind-numbing stupidity. Or, as their parents like to think, our future
Now I cut features from software one by one
You’ll have a promising career at Google
