cat-trans

As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

  • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    5 months ago
    spoiler

    Sorry to hear that. So many parents suck. It annoys me how many people become parents who aren’t ready to deal with children who aren’t allocishet, neurotypical, and/or able-bodied. And some aren’t even ready to deal with children in that category either. Meanwhile, LGBT couples have to jump through all sorts of hoops to prove themselves “worthy.” And even that didn’t stop them from approving my birthmom (TBF, she was mostly a deadbeat, so not particularly abuse - but she did manage to lose custody of us to a non-biological lesbian parent in Texas).

    I thought this too if I was a parent, I think I’d feel bad if my hypothetical child felt like they had to keep something like that a secret from me. I’d thought stupidly her mothering instinct would kick in.

    My mom has gone out of her way to make sure we know she doesn’t assume we’re heterosexual and that we can be open about that with her. Given her transphobia, I know it doesn’t necessarily mean she’d feel similarly about gender. She also tries to say that she doesn’t care about our gender presentation and has told us that she doesn’t care if we wear dresses or whatever, but like, she’s complained regularly about any sort of fem-leaning presentation changes I’ve made She avoids any fem-leaning presentation, so I think she’s partly just projecting her own dislike of those things and partly she’s worried about the prejudice of others (given the era she grew up in, I’m sure she’s experienced her fair share of homophobia). I sorta believe she wouldn’t pull the “death of my son” line because she doesn’t really seem to believe in gender to begin with IMO. But who knows? She listens to conservative talk radio and likes to random repeat talking points…

    I’m sorry for dumping that here and its super negative…

    No worries. Glad that it seems like you’ve been able to move on.

    • magi [null/void]@hexbear.netM
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      5 months ago
      Many parents do suck

      and it really sucks for our comrades who would want to have kids and as you say jump through those hoops. It is an unfair world at times for sure.

      From what you’ve said about your mom being against fem leaning I’d agree with your assessment, personal bias can skew out views sadly but it is understandable. I’m sorry that it makes it difficult for you though, a case of heart in the right place but clouded somewhat.

      I know it’s probably difficult for you if you want to present fem, I’m genuinely sorry, she sounds like a good person at heart and I get her trying to protect you as clouded as her views are. I hope in the future things can improve for you (able to dress fem leaning) if that’s what you want.

      Glad that it seems like you’ve been able to move on.

      I have some bad days but I have my wife for support. Thank you for the reply <3

      • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        5 months ago
        spoiler

        I know it’s probably difficult for you if you want to present fem, I’m genuinely sorry, she sounds like a good person at heart and I get her trying to protect you as clouded as her views are. I hope in the future things can improve for you (able to dress fem leaning) if that’s what you want.

        Thanks. I agree her hearts in the right place. Given her own issues with gender, I sorta give her a pass. She’s also tried to be supportive at times, but its usually obvious she’s saying things to be supportive, which sorta betrays a slight disapproval? I appreciate the effort though.

        I still do some things how I want, but still feel like I should avoid certain things. I don’t live there at least.

        Random funny story: One time, I was wearing thigh highs under my pants and after I took them off and left them on the floor in my room (or maybe in my shoes). Not even 30 seconds passed from when I left my room to when our little dog (who loves stinky socks) brought one of my socks out into the living room where me and my mom were. At least the dog seemed to be pleased with that clothing choice! I don’t think my mom noticed.

        • magi [null/void]@hexbear.netM
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          5 months ago
          spoiler

          She seems like a good person under it all so I’m happy for you there. Supportive is better than nothing c:

          Getting out of the same space is probably the best too, at least you can present how you feel when not in that space

          lol that’s really funny about the dog, I bet it was super awkward but funny too lol, they always love stinky socks funny that lol well hopefully you can get peace to wear your socks now that you have your own space and no dogs to tell on you ^^ I wish you well in your future endeavours c: