I think people made a confusion between “I want to have sex with women, but currently am unable to” (as in, actual incel) and “Women have too much power in the market for sex, we were denied it, and we have to force women to serve us” (as in, patriarchal shitheads but also commonly referred to as incels).

Unfortunately, it is the second one that is pushed most loudly inside and outside incel communities and thereby most commonly discussed, and as with any batshit idea, it faces aggressive response (and it should, we just have to separate two things).

That’s how the original pity party of patriarchal incels got weaponized against incels as a whole.