I once had my employer perform a wellness check when I was having a mental health episode.
I was working remotely, but my mental health was in the toilet. I had a candid conversation with my supervisor where I told him I needed some time off because I had been feeling suicidal. He was an absolute bro, told me I was doing a good job, and that I earned some time off. He agreed that our conditions and the demands from management were absurd. He tells me to just take some time, and he’ll clear the way with HR.
Well, I’m logging off my computer when I get a call from his boss. He’s asking why I’m suddenly taking some time off. I tell him that I haven’t been feeling well, but he keeps badgering me for a specific reason. I tell him that I’m very vulnerable and don’t want to disclose a reason. That’s between me and my doctor.
Well he keeps pressing and he tells me that, “sharing our vulnerabilities is what fosters trust.” So I’m like fine, you really want to know, this job and your management style are making me suicidal.
Tone immediately shifts. He’s going into full damage control cover-your-ass mode. He tells me that I should consider a different career if I’m not up to the task. I’m already having like the worst day of my life (so far) and I start to have a panic attack.
I tell him you know what, it’s not his business and I’m going to call my doctor. Before I can get on the phone with my doctor, HR is calling me. They tell me they have to get hold of my emergency contact to make sure I’m not currently killing myself. I tell them my emergency contact is out of town (unrelated), so they say they have to call the police. I ask her not to, there’s no risk to myself and things have been taken out of context. HR insists that it’s company policy.
So while I’m hyperventilating because my boss pressed me for more details than I was comfortable sharing about my health, they sent a man with a gun to my house to check on me.
I understand that the company is protecting its liability or whatever. But I really felt that my rights had been violated somehow. The police are not suitable to intervene in a mental health episode. I had a new fear that I wouldn’t be able to calm down when the police arrived and I’d end up shot or something.
TLDR - I know this post is fake, but companies really do feel like they own their employees. A wellness check from your employer is absolutely bullshit, but that won’t stop them from trying.
I learned at a real young age to never tell anyone you feel suicidal unless you want to end up “involuntarily committed”. Won’t even bring up my depression unless I’m around a real friend.
Same. I did have a therapist a few years ago that I told some real bad shit to, but that was after a couple of years of building trust; I was still scared of getting a pair of grippy socks. I went to see them because of a… let’s go with a ‘stopped suicide attempt’. Stroke at a young age, fiancé left me, no hope, career goals shattered, physically fucked, financially ruined, etc so rock bottom was looking down at me like ‘damn bro I’m sorry’.
A few close friends know things that others don’t, shit I’m not about to spill here. But it’s because they either have been in a similar situation and we have worked to keep each other alive and going, or they have degrees in the field of mental health and don’t mind trying to keep my head above water, or they are my (ex, current, etc) partner.
There’s no fucking way I’m going to just casually be like “you ever just want to go to the roof, get right on the ledge, shoot yourself - and in case that doesn’t take you out, the concrete walkway at the foot of the 20 story fall will finish the job? No? Just me then? Ha, funny. I hate life. Haha.”
Perfect solution to feeling like life has no worth except making profits for billionaires is obviously to forcibly lock them up in a hospital for a week and stick them with a $20k bill. That’ll fix all that depression.
/s
It’s not just a hospital too by the way. It was a murder short of feeling like I was in the asylum from outlast. Wailing, fighting, screaming and all other sorts of antisocial behavior, with the staff barely in control. At the least that was how it felt and being committed to that place beyond just preventing my possible suicide in the short term became a lasting traumatic experience.
Life gets a lot easier when you realize you don’t have to answer questions that you don’t want to, and “No” is a complete sentence. Not berating you, just letting you know that you didn’t have to fall for their pressure tactics. Just keep not answering their questions until they give up.
Yeah there’s absolutely this feedback loop conditioning where nobody tells us this. And even if we know it, actually putting it into practice is such a mountain.
I’m vehemently anti-authoritarian, but damn if the “yield to authority” conditioning isn’t shock-collaring me every time some douche in a suit wants to talk to me like I’m a child in trouble.
I know this is a comedy community and I’m not trying to be a bring down. But I also think it’s important to talk about this kind of thing because, well, it’s the kind of thing that corporate america would want to sweep under the rug. We need to normalize talking about mental health because it’s yet another public health crisis that doesn’t get enough attention.
I’m out of that dumpster fire now, but I’m still looking for my dream job.
Every large company I’ve worked for (since the mid 90’s) never swept this stuff under the rug - quite the opposite, actually. I’ve seen people with all sorts of issues being accommodated.
Practically every team I’ve been on had at least one person with some kind of issue. We all knew, and adjusted. Once in a while you get an asshole teammate or manager…those quickly get a reputation and people avoid working with them.
Pretty sure you have clear grounds for a lawsuit on that one. I feel like you’d easily win compensation. (This is my guess. Obviously consult a lawyer ha)
For future reference though, just keep things high level and say it’s a mental health concern. Or even just a general health issue. NEVER disclose that much information to an employer again.
As someone who was very mentally fragile years ago, it’s very easy to say “just don’t engage, hang up the phone”. But, when someone is verbally beating you down, it can slip your mind under the pressure.
OP said they were keeping it high-level but their over-boss kept pressing for specifics. I don’t think they need a reference guide in this instance.
Yeah, not to mention the anxiety of “If I don’t satisfy them with some answer now, they’re gonna drag me into a ‘little talk for a moment’ later that’ll feel like an interrogation.”
I think we really need workshops on training and resilience on how to talk to bosses and not break under pressure.
Lord knows these sociopaths have plenty of “management training” on how to coerce, intimidate, and interrogate employees!
That’s why you practice this stuff. It’s the only way to make sure you won’t slip under pressure.
It’s what I had to do - just make it a natural response. “I’m not well, I won’t be in”. Just keep repeating it, regardless of how many times you’re asked why.
Shit, I’d be calling a lawyer just to put a scare into that boss. Fucking douchebag.
“I’m not well today, I can’t work, that’s all you fucking need to know”.
I’ve never had a boss even ask why. Frankly, he should know better…what he doesn’t know he can’t be liable for. Dumbass. Plus who has the time to worry about why? Does it change anything? No.
I once had my employer perform a wellness check when I was having a mental health episode.
I was working remotely, but my mental health was in the toilet. I had a candid conversation with my supervisor where I told him I needed some time off because I had been feeling suicidal. He was an absolute bro, told me I was doing a good job, and that I earned some time off. He agreed that our conditions and the demands from management were absurd. He tells me to just take some time, and he’ll clear the way with HR.
Well, I’m logging off my computer when I get a call from his boss. He’s asking why I’m suddenly taking some time off. I tell him that I haven’t been feeling well, but he keeps badgering me for a specific reason. I tell him that I’m very vulnerable and don’t want to disclose a reason. That’s between me and my doctor.
Well he keeps pressing and he tells me that, “sharing our vulnerabilities is what fosters trust.” So I’m like fine, you really want to know, this job and your management style are making me suicidal.
Tone immediately shifts. He’s going into full damage control cover-your-ass mode. He tells me that I should consider a different career if I’m not up to the task. I’m already having like the worst day of my life (so far) and I start to have a panic attack.
I tell him you know what, it’s not his business and I’m going to call my doctor. Before I can get on the phone with my doctor, HR is calling me. They tell me they have to get hold of my emergency contact to make sure I’m not currently killing myself. I tell them my emergency contact is out of town (unrelated), so they say they have to call the police. I ask her not to, there’s no risk to myself and things have been taken out of context. HR insists that it’s company policy.
So while I’m hyperventilating because my boss pressed me for more details than I was comfortable sharing about my health, they sent a man with a gun to my house to check on me.
I understand that the company is protecting its liability or whatever. But I really felt that my rights had been violated somehow. The police are not suitable to intervene in a mental health episode. I had a new fear that I wouldn’t be able to calm down when the police arrived and I’d end up shot or something.
TLDR - I know this post is fake, but companies really do feel like they own their employees. A wellness check from your employer is absolutely bullshit, but that won’t stop them from trying.
Humanity_IRL
Other way around bruh
Sharing trust is what fosters our vulnerabilities?
trust is what fosters sharing our vulnerabilities
Fosters is Australian for “human rights will never be profitable while living a capitalist way of life”
Exactly.
Oh.
Jesus fucking christ, I have nothing to add other than I’m so sorry you went through that.
The company can do that by training your boss not to ask questions related to your health.
I learned at a real young age to never tell anyone you feel suicidal unless you want to end up “involuntarily committed”. Won’t even bring up my depression unless I’m around a real friend.
Same. I did have a therapist a few years ago that I told some real bad shit to, but that was after a couple of years of building trust; I was still scared of getting a pair of grippy socks. I went to see them because of a… let’s go with a ‘stopped suicide attempt’. Stroke at a young age, fiancé left me, no hope, career goals shattered, physically fucked, financially ruined, etc so rock bottom was looking down at me like ‘damn bro I’m sorry’.
A few close friends know things that others don’t, shit I’m not about to spill here. But it’s because they either have been in a similar situation and we have worked to keep each other alive and going, or they have degrees in the field of mental health and don’t mind trying to keep my head above water, or they are my (ex, current, etc) partner.
There’s no fucking way I’m going to just casually be like “you ever just want to go to the roof, get right on the ledge, shoot yourself - and in case that doesn’t take you out, the concrete walkway at the foot of the 20 story fall will finish the job? No? Just me then? Ha, funny. I hate life. Haha.”
Same.
Perfect solution to feeling like life has no worth except making profits for billionaires is obviously to forcibly lock them up in a hospital for a week and stick them with a $20k bill. That’ll fix all that depression. /s
It’s not just a hospital too by the way. It was a murder short of feeling like I was in the asylum from outlast. Wailing, fighting, screaming and all other sorts of antisocial behavior, with the staff barely in control. At the least that was how it felt and being committed to that place beyond just preventing my possible suicide in the short term became a lasting traumatic experience.
Life gets a lot easier when you realize you don’t have to answer questions that you don’t want to, and “No” is a complete sentence. Not berating you, just letting you know that you didn’t have to fall for their pressure tactics. Just keep not answering their questions until they give up.
I hope you’re doing better these days.
Yeah there’s absolutely this feedback loop conditioning where nobody tells us this. And even if we know it, actually putting it into practice is such a mountain.
I’m vehemently anti-authoritarian, but damn if the “yield to authority” conditioning isn’t shock-collaring me every time some douche in a suit wants to talk to me like I’m a child in trouble.
That is fucked up. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have found a better company to work for.
Thanks for the kind words, friend.
I know this is a comedy community and I’m not trying to be a bring down. But I also think it’s important to talk about this kind of thing because, well, it’s the kind of thing that corporate america would want to sweep under the rug. We need to normalize talking about mental health because it’s yet another public health crisis that doesn’t get enough attention.
I’m out of that dumpster fire now, but I’m still looking for my dream job.
Every large company I’ve worked for (since the mid 90’s) never swept this stuff under the rug - quite the opposite, actually. I’ve seen people with all sorts of issues being accommodated.
Practically every team I’ve been on had at least one person with some kind of issue. We all knew, and adjusted. Once in a while you get an asshole teammate or manager…those quickly get a reputation and people avoid working with them.
Companies are painfully aware of risk.
Holy fuck. That is beyond the pale, and I’m sorry you had to go through that. Chills thinking how wrong that could go.
Pretty sure you have clear grounds for a lawsuit on that one. I feel like you’d easily win compensation. (This is my guess. Obviously consult a lawyer ha)
For future reference though, just keep things high level and say it’s a mental health concern. Or even just a general health issue. NEVER disclose that much information to an employer again.
But yeah, you should totally file a lawsuit.
As someone who was very mentally fragile years ago, it’s very easy to say “just don’t engage, hang up the phone”. But, when someone is verbally beating you down, it can slip your mind under the pressure.
OP said they were keeping it high-level but their over-boss kept pressing for specifics. I don’t think they need a reference guide in this instance.
Yeah, not to mention the anxiety of “If I don’t satisfy them with some answer now, they’re gonna drag me into a ‘little talk for a moment’ later that’ll feel like an interrogation.”
I think we really need workshops on training and resilience on how to talk to bosses and not break under pressure.
Lord knows these sociopaths have plenty of “management training” on how to coerce, intimidate, and interrogate employees!
That’s why you practice this stuff. It’s the only way to make sure you won’t slip under pressure.
It’s what I had to do - just make it a natural response. “I’m not well, I won’t be in”. Just keep repeating it, regardless of how many times you’re asked why.
Yea for sure. That’s why I’m saying he/she should file a lawsuit. That’s completely inappropriate
Damn shitty company, hope your doing better.
Shit, I’d be calling a lawyer just to put a scare into that boss. Fucking douchebag.
“I’m not well today, I can’t work, that’s all you fucking need to know”.
I’ve never had a boss even ask why. Frankly, he should know better…what he doesn’t know he can’t be liable for. Dumbass. Plus who has the time to worry about why? Does it change anything? No.