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Chechen dictator Ramzan Kadyrov has posted a video on social media showing off his new cybertruck. He claims that it was a gift directly from Elon Musk and vows to send the "cyberbeast" into battle against Ukraine. https://t.me/RKadyrov_95/4999
There’s also this Ukrainian report on the matter but it’s in Ukrainian, so I’m sharing the Mastodon post in English.
Setting aside the question of whether he’s actually going to take the thing into a fight, I don’t see how you’d get much more out of it than acting as a technical.
A technical, known as a non-standard tactical vehicle (NSTV) in United States military parlance, is a light improvised fighting vehicle, typically an open-backed civilian pickup truck or four-wheel drive vehicle modified to mount SALWs and heavy weaponry, such as a machine gun, automatic grenade launcher, anti-aircraft autocannon, rotary cannon, anti-tank weapon, anti-tank gun, ATGM, mortar, multiple rocket launcher, recoilless rifle, or other support weapon (somewhat like a light military gun truck or potentially even a self-propelled gun), etc.
Technicals fill the niche of traditional light cavalry. Generally costing much less than purpose-built combat vehicles, the major asset of technicals is speed and mobility, as well as their ability to strike from unexpected directions with automatic fire and light troop deployment. Further, the reliability of vehicles such as the Toyota Hilux is useful for forces that lack the repair-related infrastructure of a conventional military on land. However, in direct engagements they are no match for heavier vehicles, such as tanks or other armored fighting vehicles, and they are mostly helpless against any air support from a proper military. [citation needed]
The Cybertruck is a light truck. It’s got no armor, no relevant sensors. It’s not tracked, which probably isn’t the end of the world. The only notable thing about it is that runs on electricity, but in a battlefield context, my bet is that it’s easier to get ahold of fuel than electricity. I guess you don’t have to worry about fuel in a tank catching on fire, but lithium makes for exciting reactions too – I kind of doubt that the battery cases deal well with being ruptured. Militaries are generally using ICEs, not EVs, today.
I’d say that a Hummvee is a considerably-better-suited vehicle in that category, and nobody is going to make a big deal out of taking a Hummvee into a fight.
Its quite fast compared to most other technicals, on an undamaged road.
Its nearly silent.
Air Conditioning.
You can cut vegetables for meal prep with the frunk.
.
…
…
Ok negatives:
Unless they wrap or paint it, it is extremely shiny and highly visible.
Also, it is no longer silent once you start unloading with a rear mounted Kord or PKM.
It is significantly heavier than a similarly sized truck, not great for mud or crossing a structurally dubious bridge.
It can’t offroad for shit in actually difficult or broken terrain, we’ve seen many of these things completely break their axels over curbs or collisions that most modern SUVs would be able to drive away from.
Its functionally totally unarmored.
It will probably explode/go up in flames if shot.
Also, if its electrical systems are sufficiently damaged, it will lock you out, or in.
It may or may not just stop working, or prevent itself from turning on fully if it decides to do a software update and has connectivity issues.
If the doors are damaged or your stupid key fob thing breaks, the door ‘handles’ are by default flush with the door panel and you cannot actually enter the vehicle.
If the central touch screen is say, shot, or maybe just bumped and cracked by an ammo box… probably you also cannot even get the thing to start.
Also, once you’re close to the front line, where are you going to charge this thing? There’s definitely no fast chargers, and if you do find a house with a working 220v outlet you’re a sitting duck for the next 8 hours or so.
Ukrainians have been using electric bikes and scooters successfully, but a whole EV is another kettle of fish.
Conceivably they could macgyver together a diesel generator/transformer combo unit into an electrical cable that can charge a tesla?
Maybe?
I used to have a survival/backup battery/transformer combo that could be charged from portable solar panels or a wall outlet, and while I have no idea of their availability or price in Russia and Ukraine, I know there diesel generator/transformer/battery combo units or sets.
Recharging a Tesla off of solar would require basically a football field sized solar panel array though rofl, a very static and fragile target
Yeah, then you need to transport a generator and fuel to wherever you’re charging it, so you’re not getting away from the same logistics issues you’d have with a Toyota Hilux.
I can only see this as a ploy to get the all time high post on r/shittytechnicals, if that still exists.
I mean, probably it is near the top of shittiest in terms of cost and combat and logistical effectiveness…
But not on the pure aesthetics of utterly cobbled together garbage from a homeless shelter metric.
It can still get worse:
Doesn’t have a cope cage yet.
Is not rusted from ambient humidity or rain yet.
Panels seem to be flush, that’ll likely change fairly quickly.
Random bits of it have not yet flown off at highway speeds yet.
Finally, the funniest possible things that could happen:
Ukraine hacks the thing remotely and autopilots it, empty, to crash into a jet at a nearby airfield, or a known location with a ballistic missile inbound, or just drives it off a cliff, etc.
Not really. Vehicles of that size are not stealthy from a visual perspective, and far enough away to avoid visual detection makes it likely that engine sound isn’t going to give it away. Plus the limted range and lack of offroad ability makes it worse than something as simple as a motorcycle.
Now and electric motorcycle would be small and mobile enough to get close enough for the reduced sound to let it get a little closer. But at that point drones are far, far superior for reconnaissance.
I could have sworn either the Abrams X or the Black Panther have an optional electric only mode, with onboard batteries that charge from the main engine, to allow either a moderate ability to move significantly more quietly or basically idle/hunker down at near silence.
While a tank being moved by a batteries is still quite loud up close, not using the incredibly loud engines would make it harder to hear from a decent distance away and could have legitimate tactical uses.
While that might play a very small part on their strategy I don’t think anyone in Ukraine thinks twice before shooting it should the situation really need it. It would make a nice trophy, agreed, but I think the mentality is that if it doesn’t burn then nice and even if it does the charred remains are still a trophy and a big PR win via social media.
But since Kadyrov might be inside, they might just make sure to save the video of blowing it up with egregious firepower. Even if he’s not inside, it’s a nice fuck you to all involved.
Does a fully charged CyberTruck have enough range to drive from… wherever it is, to say… Kursk?
It would be the funniest thing in a while if Ukraine managed to hack into the Autopilot and tell the thing to drive itself across the frontline to be captured.
Just because I don’t really know the geography there, I thought I’d look it up. Sticker range on the cybertruck is apparently 500km, which (as the crow flies) would get you from Moscow to Kursk, or from Kursk to Kyiv.
Setting aside the question of whether he’s actually going to take the thing into a fight, I don’t see how you’d get much more out of it than acting as a technical.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Technical_(vehicle)
The Cybertruck is a light truck. It’s got no armor, no relevant sensors. It’s not tracked, which probably isn’t the end of the world. The only notable thing about it is that runs on electricity, but in a battlefield context, my bet is that it’s easier to get ahold of fuel than electricity. I guess you don’t have to worry about fuel in a tank catching on fire, but lithium makes for exciting reactions too – I kind of doubt that the battery cases deal well with being ruptured. Militaries are generally using ICEs, not EVs, today.
I’d say that a Hummvee is a considerably-better-suited vehicle in that category, and nobody is going to make a big deal out of taking a Hummvee into a fight.
So …positives:
Its quite fast compared to most other technicals, on an undamaged road.
Its nearly silent.
Air Conditioning.
You can cut vegetables for meal prep with the frunk.
. … …
Ok negatives:
Unless they wrap or paint it, it is extremely shiny and highly visible.
Also, it is no longer silent once you start unloading with a rear mounted Kord or PKM.
It is significantly heavier than a similarly sized truck, not great for mud or crossing a structurally dubious bridge.
It can’t offroad for shit in actually difficult or broken terrain, we’ve seen many of these things completely break their axels over curbs or collisions that most modern SUVs would be able to drive away from.
Its functionally totally unarmored.
It will probably explode/go up in flames if shot.
Also, if its electrical systems are sufficiently damaged, it will lock you out, or in.
It may or may not just stop working, or prevent itself from turning on fully if it decides to do a software update and has connectivity issues.
If the doors are damaged or your stupid key fob thing breaks, the door ‘handles’ are by default flush with the door panel and you cannot actually enter the vehicle.
If the central touch screen is say, shot, or maybe just bumped and cracked by an ammo box… probably you also cannot even get the thing to start.
Also, once you’re close to the front line, where are you going to charge this thing? There’s definitely no fast chargers, and if you do find a house with a working 220v outlet you’re a sitting duck for the next 8 hours or so.
Ukrainians have been using electric bikes and scooters successfully, but a whole EV is another kettle of fish.
Conceivably they could macgyver together a diesel generator/transformer combo unit into an electrical cable that can charge a tesla?
Maybe?
I used to have a survival/backup battery/transformer combo that could be charged from portable solar panels or a wall outlet, and while I have no idea of their availability or price in Russia and Ukraine, I know there diesel generator/transformer/battery combo units or sets.
Recharging a Tesla off of solar would require basically a football field sized solar panel array though rofl, a very static and fragile target
Yeah, then you need to transport a generator and fuel to wherever you’re charging it, so you’re not getting away from the same logistics issues you’d have with a Toyota Hilux.
I can only see this as a ploy to get the all time high post on r/shittytechnicals, if that still exists.
I mean, probably it is near the top of shittiest in terms of cost and combat and logistical effectiveness…
But not on the pure aesthetics of utterly cobbled together garbage from a homeless shelter metric.
It can still get worse:
Doesn’t have a cope cage yet. Is not rusted from ambient humidity or rain yet. Panels seem to be flush, that’ll likely change fairly quickly. Random bits of it have not yet flown off at highway speeds yet.
Finally, the funniest possible things that could happen:
Ukraine hacks the thing remotely and autopilots it, empty, to crash into a jet at a nearby airfield, or a known location with a ballistic missile inbound, or just drives it off a cliff, etc.
I mean, if you could get a slave cable adapter you could probably charge it off of any nearby military vehicle…
But then you’re still running another vehicle, idle, to charge it.
More like 3 days. A Tesla 3 standard range takes 10 hours on 240V @15A
Cybertrucks have big batteries
Oh yeah, sure, I meant to get some range to at least get away from the immediate front line.
If you slam any of the doors shut you won’t be able to open them again.
Oh, the noise is a good point. I do recall reading an article about use of EVs talking about potential utility for reconnaissance. Fair enough.
Not really. Vehicles of that size are not stealthy from a visual perspective, and far enough away to avoid visual detection makes it likely that engine sound isn’t going to give it away. Plus the limted range and lack of offroad ability makes it worse than something as simple as a motorcycle.
Now and electric motorcycle would be small and mobile enough to get close enough for the reduced sound to let it get a little closer. But at that point drones are far, far superior for reconnaissance.
Tire noise is also fairly loud in all vehicles
I could have sworn either the Abrams X or the Black Panther have an optional electric only mode, with onboard batteries that charge from the main engine, to allow either a moderate ability to move significantly more quietly or basically idle/hunker down at near silence.
While a tank being moved by a batteries is still quite loud up close, not using the incredibly loud engines would make it harder to hear from a decent distance away and could have legitimate tactical uses.
Also apparently Ola has made and will be selling a 120mph capable fully electric motorcycle in SE Asia: https://www.olaelectric.com/motorcycles
Not to worry a drone with a spritzer bottle will deactivate it quickly.
@sp3tr4l @tal the only and important negative i’d say is they were retarded enough to buy a tesla :retard:
Its main strength is that Ukraine would probably want to have Kadyrov’s personal Cybertruck as a trophy, so they’d be careful not to destroy it.
While that might play a very small part on their strategy I don’t think anyone in Ukraine thinks twice before shooting it should the situation really need it. It would make a nice trophy, agreed, but I think the mentality is that if it doesn’t burn then nice and even if it does the charred remains are still a trophy and a big PR win via social media.
Yeah, I vote for charred remains of the cyber truck being displayed in Kyiv.
But since Kadyrov might be inside, they might just make sure to save the video of blowing it up with egregious firepower. Even if he’s not inside, it’s a nice fuck you to all involved.
Does a fully charged CyberTruck have enough range to drive from… wherever it is, to say… Kursk?
It would be the funniest thing in a while if Ukraine managed to hack into the Autopilot and tell the thing to drive itself across the frontline to be captured.
Just because I don’t really know the geography there, I thought I’d look it up. Sticker range on the cybertruck is apparently 500km, which (as the crow flies) would get you from Moscow to Kursk, or from Kursk to Kyiv.
Tesla sticker ranges are optimistic. You can achieve them if you drive slowly, but not at highway speed
The cyber truck has a big ass sunroof that’ll probably shatter if he opens up with that 50 cal
Uh uh uh! It has
bulletproofbaseballproofreally hard glass!