As it is already been said in this thread self defence is not authoritarian.
Glad you agree that the gulaging of kulaks or the extermination of landlords is not authoritarian.
anti clerical violence in anarchistic Catalonia for example is not generally considered authoritarian because they were spontaneous acts undertaken on the agency of the perpetrators rather than being systematically carried out by a hierarchical organisation
So your violence is good because its done in a supposedly spontaneous manner, but violence by MLs is bad because it is more organized? Murdering people without a trial, without following any pre-defined rules(a.k.a no rule of law) is not authoritarian. But executing people after a trial, in accordance with rule of law is authoritarian?
The kulaks posed immediate physical danger of starving the Soviet people from their lack of cooperation. The landlords were actively suppressing the peasants.
The rules come from the constitution voted upon by the people.
Tell me how would an anarchist society enforce laws then? And how would an anarchist society ensure every individual would have equal power?