

Finding a right therapist is actually very difficult. Were you able to do therapy regularly? Or it was more like you saw them only during crisis? If it was irregular due to bad experience with therapists, it should not discourage you to seek help again.
I don’t know anything about you other than what you said in the post. But my gut feeling is that you need some for of intervention, and good guidance on how to work out things. In another comment you mentioned about spirituality. There are counselling services associated with different religious institutions. That can also be an option. But again, as my psychiatrist ones said, it is difficult to find a good psychologist who won’t influence you with their own personal biases.
If you have good savings, and can afford to not work for a few months, then some form of retreat into a less chaotic place can also be a good idea.
How the European countries are reached? Is it by considering the colonies?