Yeah, but I think that was mass hysteria caused by bad PR. Clowns fill an important niche in the ecosystem. They generally keep to themselves and shy away from people. Confirmed clown attacks are extremely rare. Even the 2016 sightings had more to do with development companies expanding into their historic habitat than clowns actively seeking out people. I saw a movie once in which a clown was forced to live in a storm drain after his home was paved over. Starving and panicked, the inevitable happened when he was cornered by a child. Had he been relocated, he could have joined another circus and lived a full life. If you see a clown in town, remain calm. Do not approach the clown. Do not feed it. A fed clown is a dead clown. Contact your local ringmaster. They are especially trained to capture and relocate clowns. If you can, I highly recommend donating to your local clown rescue. As a side benefit, they often have education programs that allow kids to learn about and interact with them safely.

My man!

I like to listen to human music:

Human Music

Yeah, but the fetus can eventually be used for slave labor, including the production of more slaves. The male chicks are more useful being shredded for cheap slave fodder. If we generate enough value for our masters in this way, they’ll let us join them. Blessed be the fruit.

The monkey’s paw curls.

By July, the southeastern United States is battered by storm after storm. The Gulf Coast and much of Florida are devastated, with levees failing, cities flooding, and millions displaced. The media dubs it “The Year of the Tempest.”

With much of the southeastern U.S. uninhabitable, millions of displaced people flee their homes to other states. Entire communities pack what little they can carry and flee inland. Many seek refuge in neighboring states, but the sheer volume of displaced people overwhelms resources. The refugees keep moving, spreading across the country, heading as far as California and the Midwest.

At first, they are met with compassion. Towns open their doors, offering shelters and supplies. But the strain is enormous. Schools overflow, hospitals run out of beds, and housing markets skyrocket.

The social fabric begins to tear. The newcomers carry with them not just their belongings, but their political and cultural beliefs. Many are deeply conservative, opposed to the progressive policies in the states that take them in. School boards clash over curriculum changes. Gun laws, environmental regulations, and LGBTQ+ rights become battlegrounds in communities that had once considered these issues settled.

What starts as a humanitarian crisis quickly becomes a cultural and political one.

By the end of the year, the consequences of the wish are undeniable. Many states see their progressive majorities evaporate. Refugees from the southeastern U.S., driven by desperation and fear, vote in droves to undo the policies of their host states. Climate action bills are tabled as state legislatures pivot to immigration control and oil subsidy.

Meanwhile, the southeastern states, still battered and uninhabitable, become a no-man’s-land, a haunting reminder of the devastation. The hurricanes force millions to leave, but the political ideologies that resist change endure, spreading like a second storm across the country.

It’s very demonstrably how that works in the context of recent US history. It shouldn’t, but it does.

…again

It’s really important to promote leopards so they don’t eat your face when they get hungry.

She’s black now? I thought she was Indian. /s

I like that format, too.

Question: Slavery?

Answer: No.

Are these song lyrics? If not, they should be.

Yeah, I feel like it kinda fell flat.

I vote for “Ivanktober” because that’s the creepiest of their familial relationships I can think of off hand. It’ll really augment the spooky vibe of the season.

Are you sure? I checked around and couldn’t find much about this. Cable and broadcast news don’t seem to be reporting it, and none of the major newspapers. It’s not supported by X or Facebook either. I don’t see a lot of books about it on my Kindle. I mean, that’s quite a conspiracy theory you’ve got going there. For it to work, a small group of people would have to somehow hold over half the wealth of America and use it to elect politicians with so few scruples that they’ll appoint anyone to powerful offices. Even that is assuming they could somehow pack courts with compliant judges who are willing to declare that corporations are people and money is speech. Next, you’ll be telling me that a median salary is unlikely without a degree that costs almost as much as a new car, but that it doesn’t matter anyway because a median salary can’t support a family in the same standard of living they were born into. I can’t imagine people would tolerate this kind of thing. We’d have to be living in some kind of dystopian, authoritarian plutocracy like a bad 1970s sci-fi.

I’d assume it follows the same pattern in the relationship between wild and cultivated species/cultivars, with the wild species being smaller and less potent in the desired characteristics. I can see you’re a much-learned person in this field of study, and I encourage you to apply for a position once we get the funding.

Are you sure? I checked around and couldn’t find much about this. Cable and broadcast news don’t seem to be reporting it, and none of the major newspapers. It’s not supported by X or Facebook either. I don’t see a lot of books about it on my Kindle. I mean, that’s quite a conspiracy theory you’ve got going there. For it to work, a small group of people would have to somehow hold over half the wealth of America and use it to elect politicians with so few scruples that they’ll appoint anyone to powerful offices. Even that is assuming they could somehow pack courts with compliant judges who are willing to declare that corporations are people and money is speech. Next, you’ll be telling me that a median salary is unlikely without a degree that costs almost as much as a new car, but that it doesn’t matter anyway because a median salary can’t support a family in the same standard of living they were born into. I can’t imagine people would tolerate this kind of thing. We’d have to be living in some kind of dystopian, authoritarian plutocracy like a bad 1970s sci-fi.

Would you mind retracting your statement? I feel like this is unfair to clowns.

This prompts the question, “Are vampires repelled by all alliums or just garlic?” I feel like the answer to this question could advance antivampire defense technology significantly. To get started, I’ll just need $10M and as many vampires as I can get. DM me for details.

Side note: I love The Other End comics.

Can we get this post removed? I was paying bills while reading this when it popped up. It sparked a piquant sort of joie de vivre that reduced my efficiency by at least 10%. I would greatly appreciate it if this community would abstain from profaning the solemnity of my dullness.