Originally an alt for modding !bunnies@lemmy.world, then my main account @Elevator7009@kbin.run’s instance was killed and now I use this as a regular account.

  • 8 Posts
  • 23 Comments
Joined 3 months ago
cake
Cake day: July 22nd, 2024

help-circle
  • I’ll be honest, it is really hard for me to see this one as wholesome, given I’m part of a household where two people did not want a dog and one did. We got overruled. The dog-wanter promised they would do all the work, and I knew that that promise would be broken. I brought that up several times before the purchase.

    Well, the people who didn’t want the dog (including myself) get stuck with all the work. I for one do not like the dog one bit. I hate it. I have a feeling if it seriously injured one of us the dog-wanter would fight to keep it and flat-out ignore any trauma that might have been acquired from that situation (and tbh that already kind of happened). I want it given to a shelter as soon as possible. The other person—I cannot gauge their feelings, sometimes they agree with me but sometimes they call it a nickname as if they love it.

    I am glad for all the people who are happy but man, please don’t think because of all these “man who didn’t want dog likes it anyways” posts that you can just bring an animal home that others in the household don’t want and expect it to turn out like the memes.

    I don’t like to be the person ruining everyone else’s fun, but I figure this is just one meme, a small bit of ruined fun, compared to the giant dump on my parade that taking care of an animal I don’t like and that I never wanted is. There are lots of responsibilities that can be unexpectedly dumped on me that I will handle with grace. This is not one of those responsibilities. I don’t want anyone else subjected to this because “look at all the anecdotes of people who said they did not want an animal and liked it anyways, there was a whole subreddit for that, surely it’ll turn out the same if I do it!” And if I’m just being stupid and nobody would ever take that as evidence… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯





  • Thanks for addressing my concern. With this additional context it looks like he’s trying to refuse without being straightforward about it (from my end). Although I get it is a tactic to try to be nice instead of hurtful, it often just leads to more hurt, especially when people take the action to do “X” and they still get a “no”. Wasted effort trying to convert a “no” to a “yes” that could never be converted, and probably inadvertently pissing off someone who wishes you would just take a hint when you understandably take them at face value because some people do legitimately say “no, for X reason” and could be converted to a “yes” when X is addressed. It would be better for all parties to be straightforward. As someone who cares a lot about being nice and protecting peoples’ feelings, it is, in fact, very possible to be straightforward and honest without being rude or hurtful.



  • Not sure why you are owed Blaze’s efforts on your instances specifically, and why a “no” prompts such a negative, unflattering comparison. You might not actually believe you are entitled to his efforts, but the harsh comparison in reaction to his “no” is what makes me perceive you as feeling that way. I am really not used to people who don’t feel entitled to someone’s efforts speaking that way when they refuse.

    I appreciate and acknowledge your efforts, I know you made some software to help people find replacement communities for subreddits and to mirror content from other sites to the Fediverse but to be honest this comment leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Especially given all the posts they do make to try to contribute to the Fediverse and grow it—but at least from what I see, they do not want to take on the additional tasks of modding or administrating your instance and you find their reasons unacceptable so you make this comparison, which frankly looks like an attempt to insult them to me.

    And that unflattering comparison leaves me somewhat scared to post this comment lest I get one too, for having wrongthink, too much sympathy for someone you think I should not, insert other insults here. But I also figure I should probably speak up instead of getting in the habit of letting my fear of conflict (and lack of experience with seeing people speak harshly to me or others irl) control me especially when I feel I see something that should not have happened.

    Did Blaze tell you your communities are all trash or something? I really do not see why you are reacting so harshly.




















  • Some people get a smartphone instead of a computer, but you are right, I probably should have said “something with internet access.”

    Sorry. In my experience, lack of sympathy is often paired with animosity and harshness, so I am a little wary. Disagreements in real life are a lot easier because you can tell tone better, and if the person is civilly disagreeing, or if they are going to start getting hostile on you. I’ll agree to disagree here.


  • I do have sympathy, considering a smartphone has become somewhat a necessity and not everyone is aware of options like the FairPhone. I agree about the filter, but it’s also true that no matter how much time social media consumes in peoples’ life, a lot of people would not want to say “I spend money on social media,” to look quite that online, no-life internet obsessed what a loser and all other sorts of insults. And even if they told nobody, they might feel ashamed about it—because oh my god, who pays for social media except a terminally online power-tripping mod lmao. Especially since the norm now is to not pay, and people tend to resist change that incurs any cost on them. Ads and the corporate control thing are probably just a minor annoyance for most people, they personally have not hit their bullshit limit yet, not everyone has the same priorities. I’d like them to have the option of a nice ad-free social media too. If I wasn’t around for the Reddit API drama I would not even be aware of the Fediverse and would not be here having this discussion with you. Also, not everyone is in a financial position to donate for social media.

    Honestly kind of fearing a negative response because of your statement you have no sympathy for that kind of person—which means you might be more willing to engage in a harsh manner with me too. But I’ll take that risk in order to speak up in opposition to the no sympathy viewpoint.